Two Year Old Twins Sleeping in Our bed...every Night!

Do you have cribs or toddler beds for them? Maybe try a double bed for them. When my twin and I were little, we wanted a "together" bed. We slept in a double bed for several years.

Hi J.,

The way my husband and i started to move our kids out of our bed was by setting up their room with two queen air mattresse, my husband and I then started using that for naps. Then after a month or so we started doing bedtime in there. We would go laydown together and once the twins were asleep we got up and left. For two months my husband slept in their with them (at this point we were expecting baby 3 and I was not a comfy bed partner). After the two months my husband and l got them down to sleep but we would go sleep in our bed. if they woke up at 2 or 3 in the morning we would let them come sleep with us (baby 3 was born and we all needed our sleep).
Present day: all three now sleep in their room for nap and bed time. The youngest still comes in around midnight the twins don't wake until around 3 or 4, unless we played hard that day then they stay in their beds till 6 or 7! We made sure that before we put them in their big boy/girl beds they understood how special it was. Then they got to pick out the sheets and comforter.
This has allowed my husband and i to have a bed to ourselves for about 5 hours before any one of them come in and the best thing for us is that it has been relatively tear free. We would explain things for a week before we changed them. such as- Mommy and Daddy will stay with you till you fall asleep but then we will go sleep in our bed. This is your bed and is where you should sleep.
I will say that being consistant is key, Sometimes bedtime does take us an hour and a half, but my husband and I will switch off if he is having a bad day or I am and aren't dealing with the kids very well. I personally cannot do CIO and that is why I have done what I have done. Yes it is time intensive but it's what i felt was best for me and my family.

Good luck
S.

Keep trying the super nanny approach. Just babysteps to start also. Eventually, they'll get the hang of it. You can also keep talking to them about it. I tell my 4 month old that it's time for sleep and pat him a bit and walk out. He'll cry and I'll go in there and remind him until eventually, he gets the picture. Don't give up even if it's exhausting. Usually, it'll take about 3 days (or nights) or being totally 100% consistent. Children are pretty smart and seem to never give in (especially 2 year olds and you have two of them...LOL), until they meet their match!!! Keep it up!! You'll be glad that you did.

Good luck and Congrats!!

My wife refused to make our youngest sleep in his own bed. (The first 7 she put in their beds, no problem.) He was still there when he turned 8. UUUUGGGGGGHHHHH Nothing I said would change her mind. When he turned 8 or so he started kicking in his sleep. I made my wife sleep in the middle. When she got tired of being kicked she finally put him in his own bed. We then had to fight that battle of him coming in our room and sleeping on the floor for a long time.

Why did I tell you this? So you won't make the same mistake. Put them in the same bed so they will have each other to snuggle with. Put some blankets or another mattress on the floor if you are afraid of them falling when they get out of bed. Close their door. Roll up a towel and place it at the bottom of their door to reduce the noise. Close your door. If they cry, that's part of the process. Its like pulling out a splinter. It hurts to pull it out, but you know it will feel better after it heals. Them sleeping in their own beds is part of the growing up process and growing up hurts sometimes. Remember when your first crush became interested in someone else? I still do.

Good luck to you and yours.

Hello? You crack me up! Seriously, I'm not snarking, I'm laughing! The key is in your sentence--"I tried the nanny approach, but got exhausting, they wouldn't give up!" No, Ma, YOU gave up first! I'll bet they're adorable, and it just tugs your heart to say no to them. You've gotta see that they're running the show---what Dr. Phil calls, "the tail waggin' the dog". 3-day weekend is the perfect opportunity. Get a knob cover for their bedroom door, put them in bed, (together if you want, which is TOO cute), tell them "good night, I love you, stay in bed." Then shut the door. They can't get it open, but get earplugs for everyone else, cause you're in for a rough ride for a couple of days. It really won't take long, and they're too young to hold it against you!

I agree with Sarah and Ashley. There's no need to make them cry in order to have your bed back. My oldest transitioned to her own bed at 21 months. She was ready a little before that but we had company coming so we waited until after they were gone.

I'd get them a full size mattress and put it on the floor. Then there's room for them to be together and they won't get hurt if they fall for any reason. Once they are no longer falling off the mattress, then you can make it into a normal bed if you want.

We also started with naps in her room before we tried to do overnight. Worked beautifully for us and my daughter has been in her own bed and room for almost 1.5 years with no tears from any of us.

I'm guessing they probably like the closeness of mom and dad and the snuggling. I would suggest a double bed for their room so they can snuggle with each other and comfort each other. Hope it helps!

It is much like an infant and the cry it out method you just HAVE to do it. I suggest getting a soft piece of foam for the floor to put in front of their bed (their not as much fun as a 2nd mattress to jump on) this will ease your fear of them hurting themselves. After that put up a gate on their door, if you can stand the noise of having them scream at you, or close the door with a knob cover on the inside so they can't open it. Make sure you listen and check on them to make sure they are safe but LEAVE THEM in there until they give up. As they get better at going to sleep offer to leave the door open/gate off if they stay in bed, BUT if they get out of bed put them back and close the door. Soon they will stay in bed with the door open and you will have your bed back :o)

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Try telling them that they need to stay in bed but you will be back to check on them in 5 minutes (or a few minutes, or whatever). Sometimes they will be more willing to stay put if they know it will be only a short while. Come back after 5 minutes, just let them know you are checking on them, and then you'll be back as soon as you are done doing XYZ. Leave, then come back after another 5 to 10 minutes. Keep doing this until they fall asleep - the idea is that eventually they will fall asleep because they just won't be able to fight it anymore. I heard this trick somewhere and while my daughter goes to sleep on her own in her own bed no problem, she likes the idea that I will be back "to check on her". Everytime I go back 10 or 15 minutes later, she's already out like a light.

If they get out of bed at any point, bring them back and start over. Obviously it's harder when you have 2, but maybe you should enlist your husband's help too, if you haven't already, so you won't get end up totally worn out.

Sing them to sleep. I read to my children and then told them great stories until they dropped into slumber. We never had any bedtime troubles.

I agree with Sarah. we full co-slept with our daughter until she was 1 year ( currently 2 1/2) and then we started sitting next to her bed until she falls asleep and then we sleep in our own room. she comes to our bed about 3-4 am to sleep. when we started sitting next to her bed for her to go to sleep it took about a half hour or so but now it just takes 5 minutes. this has made it much more comfortable for all of us. plus we never have any crying!

I think any approach to helping our children sleep is exhausting, because we're already so tired! Do you have support to help you get a nap in during the day? While you are helping your children with sleeping in their own beds it's important for you to have all the support you can.

Also, I have found you don't have to be super-consistent in this. If you find you are so exhausted one night you can tell your children "Mommy's too tired to help you stay in your bed tonight so I'm going to let you sleep in my bed for tonight". If you think that wouldn't be helpful, you may want to set up camp in their room when you're really tired so at least they're staying in their room. Do what works for you and your family and let yourself be flexible so you don't get more exhausted.

It is a big adjustment to go from sleeping in mom's bed to your own bed, so helping our children with their feelings about this is imperative. Here's a great article that talks about how to do this: http://www.handinhandparenting.org/news/49/64/Helping-You...

I hope you get some good zzzz's soon!
M.