15 Month Old Son Refusing to Sleep in His Own Crib.

You could try bringing his crib into your room and putting it right by your bed. This way he can be close and also start getting used to sleeping in there all night.

We used the Ferber method, we used it wearly, it worked for us. It advocates "graduated waiting" and curbing sleep associations.

after your usual good night routine (bath, story prayers, sippy, whatever)
1. you put baby in bed drowsy not asleep.
2. you walk out of the room. (baby cries).
3. you stay out for 1 full minute. (if baby is not yet asleep (and he probably won't be), you go in, say good night, pat his back, fix the covers, and walk out again (your goal isn't to get him to sleep, it is just to reassure him that you havne't fallen off the planet).
4. walk out of the room. (baby will likely cry louder).
5. remain out for 3 minutes, then go back in to do the reassuance, but not to make him sleep (sleeping is his job).
6. walk out of the room again. baby will likely cry again.
7. go back in at increasing intervals, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and then at 45 minutes, and 45 minutes thereafter.

8. on day two, you start off at 3,5,10,15, 20, 30, 45
9. on day three, you start off at 5,10,15,20,30, then 45.
10. on day four, you start off at 10
11. on day five, you start off at 15.
12. on day six and seven, 20 and 30. Most kids "get it" by day 3 or 4.

If he's slept for an hour or two, and wakes, re-start the ritual for that day, so if you put him to bed at 8pm on day 3, and you went into his room at 8:05, 8:15, 8:30, 8:50 and he then slept till midnight and woke, you would go in at 12:05, 12:15, 12:30 etc.

You must be fully committed for this to work. If you relent and pick him up or bring him to your bed, all you have done is effectively taught him that if he cries for long enough he will get "rewarded."

Don't attempt this if you or baby are sick, or if there are major changes afoot (new daycare, new job, new house, new bed). do make sure you are well rested. Do make sure everyone in the household is fully committed to this program. Do give the neighbors a courtesy of a head's up if they might be disturbed.

If you stick to it, it will work.
We did Ferber early. It worked for us. Baby might rouse in the middle of the night, its part of their natural sleep cycle, but he will gurgle and quickly go back to sleep. Apart from when my MIL was visiting and decided to "help" with the baby, I can count on one hand the number of times that our 21 month old has disturbed our sleep since Ferberizing.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

At 15 months old he is being very strong willed and it's going to be a battle of who wins. If you win then you will win other battles down the road easier, if not it will be harder. If you truly want him in his own bed tell him he is sleeping in his bed and you will be checking on him and then when he wakes and cries let him cry. If you want you could go in and tell him you are in your room and that you love him and then go. I did that with my first child who was 12 months older than his brother and it became very hard to deal with the bedtime thing. I didn't do exactly like you did, he was in his crib, but I sat by the bed and patted him and it went on for hours, and if I moved he'd wake screaming. I had a pediatrician tell me to go for a ride if I couldn't stay out of the room when he cried, leave my husband there and let him cry. I did stay, he did cry and yet in less than a week he went right to bed. End of issue. I know this is bad with the head banging but your son will stop when it hurts bad enough. Don't pad it and then he can't eat it. He doesn't need to have a bottle or cup at this age in the night. He'll be fine. If you are still concerned talk to your doctor about the head banging.

What we did is take the side rail off our crib and push it up next to the bed. We put a bumper that is made of foam that I found online between so my son wouldn't fall through the crack that was there. Then when he would wake up in the middle of the night I could nurse him and put him back after he fell asleep, or I could just pat him on the back to let him know that I was there and he was ok.

He should sleep in his own room and own bed. You need your privacy and space as well. Its your bed and he has his own bed too. :) What you can try is getting him a lovey I think they call it. Maybe a new special blanket as well that he can keep in the crib only and when he goes to bed that is his bedtime blanket. Also; try putting him the crib. Wait 5-8 minutes and go back in. Reassure him its okay. Sometimes though; going in and out of the room just makes the child more confused. If he's bored enough he will eventually fall asleep. Try even waiting 20-40 mins before checking in. Sometimes some children need the space. If he chooses not to sleep there isn't much you can do. He has to learn when its bedtime, its "bedtime". Might sound harsh, but you don't want him to be 8years old and still sleeping with you every night.

Maybe try a warm bottle of milk before he goes down. A nice warm bath and a story is always good too. If if were me, I would not put his crib in your room. That will teach him he can cry and keep you up or that you will be at his every need!

It's a tough rough, but you can do it. You just have to stay calm, firm and don't give in. The more times you go in the room when he cries or acts up in the crib, the more he will notice that you will come to him every time and he will learn to get his way. I'm not trying to be rude or come off rude!

Good luck!!!!

Since he's almost to old for a toddler bed I think you should go ahead and get a regular bed for him. It would be a waste of your money to buy a toddler bed too. They are for toddlers, ages 12 months up to 24 months.

If you are concerned about him falling off just put it directly on the floor for a while.

Baby beds are a totally different feeling. The mattresses are much lighter weight and they have springs inside the kids can feel once they get a bit larger.

IF you are against CIO (cold turkey or Ferber method...) I would try the no-cry sleep solution.

My DD was an EXTREMELY stubborn fighter about bedtime for a while. We tried to use Ferber on her, and she would literally stay up ALL NIGHT crying. Seriously, we spent 5 days of gradually leaving her longer, until she was too exhausted to stay awake any longer. (She would fight for about 5-8 hours (we capped our check-in time at 45 minutes) before she couldn't stay awake!) There were a couple of times when she cried herself sick, and wound up throwing up in her crib. I finally gave up trying CIO at all because 1) It felt too mean. If she was THAT upset, she wasn't just being stubborn... she needed her mommy! and 2) I didn't see how it could be healthy for her to be up that long screaming... and I needed some sleep too!

Now, CIO DOES work, and work very well, for some children! It just so happened that it didn't work for mine.

I read the no-cry sleep solution, and then tweaked it to my own method. I started out by letting her fall asleep however she was comfortable. Then I would put her in her crib. For a few nights, she would wake up when I put her down, so I would try to pat her to sleep with her still in bed. If that didn't work, I would pick her up and get her back to sleep. Once she was asleep again, I would put her back in her crib. Repeat repeat repeat. Eventually, she was tired enough that it wasn't worth the bother of waking back up and she would sleep for a while. She did wake up every few hours, but again, I would put her back in her crib right when she fell back asleep. Eventually, she got so used to waking up in her crib that she didn't even care any more. I NEVER let her sleep in my bed for longer than it took to fall asleep while I was doing this.

Once she got used to sleeping in her crib, I started putting her in there more and more awake. Instead of putting her in asleep, I would put her in right as she was nodding off. (do the same as with sleeping... if she woke up, try to pat her to sleep in the crib... if that fails, pick her up and get her to that point again and put her back in.) Then I would put her in when she was ready to fall asleep, then when she was really tired, then when she was drowsy, then right after her bedtime routine.

This did take a LONG time... I would say about 2 months to get her from sleeping in my bed to falling asleep on her own in the crib... But it was worth it to get her sleeping better!

~P.S. My DD has never had any issues with self-soothing... She only ever had issues with bedtime. lol.

Since he's hurting himself on the crib it's time to dismantle it and store it away. If you're not ready for him to be in a toddler bed or twin put his mattress directly on the floor, childproof his room and put up a baby gate in his doorway, or door knob cover on the inside knob so he can't open it (they learn very quickly!) A cute nightlight that lights up stars on the ceiling is a good distraction/relaxer, too:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias...
http://www.dreamlites.com/Default.asp?tcode=pi8&tag=g... ~ I've heard the Dream Lites are available at Walmart and CVS, but haven't looked for them or seen them there myself.

Don't worry if he gets off the mattress, the point you want him to get at this point is to sleep in his room. You may find him more than a few times on the floor, don't worry, he'll get it in time that his mattress is the most comfy place to be.

If you go to him when he cries in the middle of the night leave the lights off, lay him back down, pat him gently a minute or so and whisper "Time to go back to sleep" and leave, the less interaction the better. I think you realize by now that giving him his way has only strengthened his determination to "win" so be consistent in placing him back in bed and not taking him to your room, however long it takes ღ