Crib to Toddler Bed Transition...

I stuck with a crib until 2 1/2 with my kids. Until they are old enough to understand and follow direction, all it does is drive you crazy. It's kind of like potty training. They'll do it when they are ready and before that the only one that's trained is you :o)
J.
Mom to 4, soon one more through another adoption and hopefully more :o)

My son and daughter were both in the crib until almost 3. If the crib is working for you, I'd stick with it at 21 months! I still have problems with my 3 1/2 year old daughter wandering out of her bed at night. I can't imagine her staying in there ever at 21 months!

Good luck whatever you decide!

For bedtime, it sounds like things are going well. I am curious why you don't stroke her back while she is falling asleep though...you are just sitting next to her bed...not important, just wondering.

Anyhow, this is what I did and it worked. It helped me transition my little one when she was transitioning from the family bed to a bed of her own.
1. Get an umbrella stroller.
2. Put a cozy blanket over it.
3. Put child in stroller.
4. Tuck child in with the blanket lining the stroller (so she is snug). No need to strap her in. Make sure she's not laying on the strap buckles though!
5. Tilt the stroller back so it is in wheelie position. 6. Put on favorite soothing music.
7. Slowly, wheel around the kitchen table on the back two wheels. Go in circles many times.
8. Watch kiddo fall asleep.
9. For a multitasker, use one hand to push stroller round and round and lift a handweight (or a soup can) up and down with the other hand.
10. Either leave her in the stroller asleep for the duration of the nap or if you want to live on the edge you can try placing her in her new bed. You won't end up having to do this every nap time, just long enough until she is independent enough to take a nap in the bed she has eventually grown to desire sleeping in for every sleep time.

We went thru good days and bad days (still do) when we transitioned our 2 yearold to a big boy bed. I think the kiddos are just testing the waters because there are several aspects of the new bed! The novelty of the toddler bed probably wore off on day 5 and so then it may take a few days for the novelty of getting out of bed on her own that needs to wear off.

I have had to more than once just shut the door to my son's room at naptime and then he may cry for a few minutes before laying down himself and taking a nap. I struggled with being consistent too in the way that I got him to take a nap. Sometimes it was just easier to lay down with him since it was wearing both of us out!

Anyway, what I have finally decided works best for us when we try new things is to just survive the few days where it feels like total chaos because we're trying to find that new routine. This can feel very inconsistent. But I think after a few days you get an idea of what works for your daughter and then that is when it is important to keep the consistency. Before that, I think it is OK to try new things.

Hi P.,

We transitioned my son to his "big boy" bed around 20 months. We had a similar problem where he just kept coming out of the room. For the first week or so, everytime he came out of the room, we would pick him up and take him back to his bed. The first few times I told him he needed to go night-night. After that, I stopped even talking and would just put him back in bed. Many nights it took 10+ times for him to stay in his room, but we were persistent and never gave in.

After the first week of doing that, I figured he understood that mommy and daddy wanted him to stay in his room. At this point, it had become more of a game for him. We put the baby gate up in the hallway and put a child lock on the bathroom door. That way, he could still be in either his room or ours but was safe. I went downstairs right away and let him cry it out. It only took about 2 nights of this and he stopped even trying to come out of the room.

After a month or so, he started coming out again, but would not cry and he now falls asleep in the hallway every night. We put him back into his bed when we go upstairs for bed and he will then stay there all night.

It just takes some patience and persistence, but it is a very doable thing at this age. Best of luck!

I am going through this right now too. Started my 26 mo old son in big boy bed last week. First few days went great. By this weekend though he was doing the same thing...getting out of the bed. My daughter went through the same thing too. I close the door and let him cry for awhile. I also tried the "put back in bed several times without talking" thing and that didn't work either. My husband finally got him to stay in his bed by just sitting in the rocking chair and not saying anything. He was asleep in 5 min. Not sure this is the best way to do it. He also lost his video last night because of the whole nap time drama.

As for what everyone says about it being too early I think that it is nonsense. Every child is different and we all have reasons for doing what we do and when we do it. With my daughter we transitioned her at 18 mo because we had just moved to a new home and we were expecting a second child. We didn't want her to feel like she was being kicked out of her crib and new room when the baby came so we just did the transition when we moved. It worked out just fine.

With my son we are transitioning him now because we are taking a vacation in a couple of weeks where he is going to have to sleep in a bed. Hotels do have pack and plays but he has gotten to big for those now so will have to sleep in a bed.

Goodluck, it will get better.

P., just last week I have had almost the same problem as you. My daughter is almost 2-1/2 and she has JUST learned how to climb out of her crib. Since she knows how to get out now she was constantly climbing out and opening her door to ask for more cuddles. I put a child-proof door knob on the inside of her door, but then open her door a crack just before I go to bed. I put up a baby gate in the hallway so she can't wander the house and is only able to go into her own or my room. BUT, the thing that has worked wonders I tried on a whim a few days ago: my daughter loves getting her hand stamped with different kinds of scrapbooking stamps and such. I use that as a reward for staying in her bed from bedtime until the morning when her alarm clock goes off. I had an old "nature sounds" alarm clock that plays either the sounds of birds chirping, a babbling brook, or the ocean waves. I played each of them for her one night before bed and asked her which one she wanted to wake up to (I figured those sounds were less startling than a buzzer or beeping). I reiterated that she only got a hand stamp if she stayed in her bed until her alarm went off (I set it for a time that's near when she normally wakes up)even if she woke up before the timer went off. It's been 3 days and she has yet to climb out of her crib! So, pick something your daughter loves as a reward, and maybe try the alarm clock thing too. Hope something works for you!

Why are so many parents in such a rush to get their kids into big beds? I waited until they were close to 3 years. It was easy at that age because they had a developed bedtime routine and were better listeners. I've always heard you should wait until 3 years of age or for as long as possible. I can't remember why though. Something to do with feeling secure? I say skip the toddler bed and wait until she is older. Good luck!

I have 2 kids, my daughter is 4, my son is 25 months. At 2, we transitioned my daughter to a toddler bed in anticipation of our son's needing the crib. I regret this move...she quit napping immediately and my son didn't sleep in the crib until he was 10 months. I think 21 months is way too young for a toddler bed...kids that little don't have impulse control and don't feel cozy and safe in a bed like that. Personally, I would put her back in her crib until she's 3 (unless she's crawling out or something) and then try the toddler bed again. My son will be in his crib until he's 3, if I can manage. I need him to nap (and he needs to nap!)!

I agree with other posters that each child is an individual and we cannot treat each child the same, but I had heard that you should not put a baby in a toddler bed until they can climb out of it or are three, whichever comes first. If they can climb out, they are at risk of hurting themselves. When they are younger than three, they do not have the reasoning capacity to understand that they need to lay down without being contained. Maybe your child still needs the crib?

P.,

I would pick one way of doing things and stick to it. Sometimes parenting takes a lot of patience to get the behavior you want. It will get easier if you are consistent. Don't back down. If it is too exhausting to be putting her back into bed 50 times, use the baby gate or flip the lock on the door handle and leave. Go in the kitchen and prepare dinner. Go read a book or exercise. But if you sit outside her door and torment yourself with her tantrum you are more likely to give in.

Good luck,
S.

P.,
Do you think your daughter was coming out b/c she knew you were there sitting by her door and she was getting what she wanted, seeing you. My daughter expressed interest at 20 months to be in a "big girl" bed and I don't think that is too early. She is 4 now and still sleeps in her big girl bed. She used to come out and still does on occasion but all we have to tell her now is to go back to bed. When she was younger I'd simply bring her back to bed, I never stayed though. We had a few slip ups but if you stay consistant they do realize they're supposed to stay in bed. We also used a gate b/c of the stairs but that helped her stay where she was supposed to be.. upstairs. Good luck with whatever you decided. Just be consistent. I was also in nursing school when my daughter was that age.... it's not easy. Good luck!!!

She's too young. Put her back in her crib. IF she's sleeping fine in her crib, why mess with it? If its not broke, don't fix it, KWIM? No real reason to put her into a toddler bed this early, so let her be in her crib.

Your reaction and how your child is acting sounds like us when our oldest was the same age.

We tried the Super Nanny thing but I ended up too exhausted to keep consistent not to mention very frustrated and upset. We tried the child gate and she cried for over an hour and it didn't help she could see the light from us being downstairs. We tried putting her back in the crib and she tried to crawl out and would cry like crazy. I tried putting the mattress on the floor and she'd still come out. It makes me tired thinking about it.

My husband ended up doing research on-line and found something that said to shut the door. I couldn't get myself to shut the door and felt horrible but after a few days it was working. She screamed and kicked the door but we ignored her. I did check on her if she did it over 40 minutes and sometimes she was poopy sometimes. We'd check on her to make sure that she had enough water or wasn't poopy and had to make a mad dash to the door to keep her in the room. It was so sad really. We did use the child cover for the door knob so she couldn't open the door.

She'd give up and lay on the mattress that was on the floor. We worked out way up to the toddler bed in a couple months. A month or two after she was in her toddler bed I suggested we open her door so the cat could come and visit her in the room and she was good about it and never had to shut the door again.

We would communicate everything to her and what we were going to do and why. I hope something gives for you. Some people find it simple and others find it difficult.

Consistency, consistency, consistency. You can't let your self quit in the middle of a training, or you will set a precedent that could take months to counter. If you want her to stay in the bed, keep putting her back into it until she resigns herself to the fact that there is no alternative. If you give up first, she wins and she will see that as implied permission to get up whenever she likes. This could easily transition to bedtime too, as soon as she figures out that she might have an option!

SAHM of seven

With one of mine, I'd let him first fall asleep where he was most comfortable. We didn't put his crib away for a few weeks after getting his new bed, so usually he'd go there or in our room. ONce he'd fall into his deepest sleep (about a half hour after he finally would go down) I'd put him in his "big boy bed". Most of the time he'd sleep through the night and wouldn't even notice what had happend til morning. Sometimes he'd wake up in the night and come crying to our room, and I just let him fall asleep with us, and then a half hour later would move him to his bed. A couple of times we moved him too soon...before he was really out.. and he freaked out..so we'd have to wait longer before he'd calm down enough where we could move him. This went on for about two weeks. After a while, he just got used to his bed and stopped coming back to us.

I think overall, the transition was pretty peaceful considering he wasn't too thrilled about going from a crib to an actual twin sized bed with one of those safety rails. I think the key is to make them feel safe by giving them some safety nets for a while.. which for us was letting him fall asleep in our room, but then moving him. We also gave him an animal shaped flashlight, nightlights, and a little kid-proofed cd player with nice sleepy music he could use if he got scared in the dark. That helped too.