Trying to Get My Son to Sleep in His Crib.

Updated on June 19, 2009
H.C. asks from Carrollton, GA
8 answers

Can anyone please give me some suggestions on how to get my 13-month-old to sleep in his crib? I made the mistake of letting him sleep in my bed when he was a newborn and now I can't get him out of my bed. He refused to sleep in it for naps or bedtime. Every time I put him in it, he cries for a long time. Basically, he would rather cry for 3 hours then sleep in it. It's exhausting for us both. Please help!

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P.S.

answers from Macon on

Try playing some soft, slow music. It worked for my son during his first year.
P. S

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V.A.

answers from Atlanta on

There are books out there like "the No Cry Sleep Solution" you could dry and someone on another one recommended 1 2 3 Magic I think it is called. My first thought is to try the 3 hour of crying. yes, it will be exhausting, but it may end up being the only way. It probably would only take the first night or two. 1-2 nights with little sleep is better than a couple of years of battles. You can reassure him, but don't get him out or it may start all over again. If you can do this now before he can climb out then it will work better. The crying won't hurt him, I know you'll both sides of that issue too.

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S.V.

answers from Atlanta on

I have 4 sons and they each went through this stage. They cry and scream because they know that you will finally give in. Let them cry it has never hurt a child to cry. Eventually they realize it doesn't work.

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C.B.

answers from Atlanta on

hang in there i actualy had to end up putting a baby gate at the door and a toddler bed explaining to my son ok here is a BIG BIG BOY BED with his favorite character sheets thats what worked for me

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W.J.

answers from Atlanta on

I had my son sleep with us and now do the same with our new daughter so I can't say I view it as a mistake. I think it is naturally and you were likely following your instincts in having him there to begin with. That being said if it is no longer working and it is time to transistion it sounds like you are maybe just going a little too fast for him. You may want to try getting him a special bed in your room or have him get use to the crib in your room before putting him in a room all by himself. Remember, he doesn't know why he is all alone in a room all of a sudden and likely needs some help and time getting use to things. I personally am not for the cry it out method and there is a lot of research documenting the downsides of that method. It also sounds like it is not working if you are both exhausted. You may want to look at the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I found a lot of good ideas in that book and it may help you with the transistion. I guess my advice is to try and look at things through his eyes and make it a comfortable and loving transistion for both of you.

Good Luck,

W.

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J.C.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

H., we had a similar problem. We would let our son fall asleep in our arms for a long time (because it was so cute and we loved him so much............). Wow, were we wrong! I learned that just because you lay your kids in their cribs, your are not a bad parent. You are teaching them structure, being on a schedule, and to be familar with sleeping in their own bed which is good for you, him and your marriage as a whole.

At about 6 months we tried something different & we had a hell of a few bad weeks but we put him in his crib, let him cry, but we stayed in the room the whole time, hugged him, talked with him some; but after a while, he understood he was safe and mommy and daddy were not abandoning him. Now he is on a schedule and knock on wood he is doing great (he's 16 months now).

He falls asleep in his crib, we still stay with him in the room (lay on the floor and don't make eye contact or talk with him, after we kiss goodnight and read a book). He is fine.

I hope this helps! Just remember he needs you to set a pattern every night and you all will get adjusted it will just take time. But stick to your schedule and pattern and he your son will be fine.

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S.P.

answers from Charleston on

You didn't make a mistake by letting him stay in your bed. He needs that comfort and he is also used to it. It is probably best to try naps first then progress to night sleeping. I transitioned my daughter by taking her in her room during the day and putting her in the crib and stayed in there to play. I also put two stuffed animals in there so she had something to play with. After making sure she was totally asleep I placed her in the crib and she would wake up with no problem. I do still nurse her to sleep before placing her in there for naps and for the night and she will sleep several hours in her crib which will afford me time to do things during the day or a few hours of good sleep at night. She takes all of her naps in there and sleeps the first part of the night in her crib. By 12 or 1 she gets restless and I get her and bring her to bed with us so that we can get the rest of the sleep we need. He is connected to you and the transition will be long because he is used to you being there with him. Doing this slowly over the course of time will be better than trying to rush it. He is also at an age where he is more aware of his surroundings so it may take a while. The crying out will just keep the both of you exhausted.

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V.E.

answers from Atlanta on

He has learned that his screaming gets him what he wants. Make your room and your bed totally "off limits" for a while. Put a mattress or air mattress on the floor beside his crib and give him a choice of the floor or his crib. Give im something to entertain himself and leave the room. If he tries to come out - put him back in his room. If will only take your being totally consistent for a few times for him to decide you are in charge in this area. Do not ever give in to his screaming as this is not acceptable behaviour. V.

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