Okay! Im all out of answers! I am a mother of three, 7, 5, and 3. Heres a little back ground! Our DS is a very sweet boy, hes a helper, and a pleaser! He has no bevaior problems in school at home is a different story, and at one point we thought well at least he's good in public! Now dont get me wrong his not horrible at home Im just don't know what to do anymore! We are at the point in the school year that we are thinking that he will fail kindergarden, which makes us very sad for him. He is not reading at the level they want at this point. We have taken him to his Dr who says there is nothing wrong with him, we'd thought he may be ADD but they say he's not. So we've gotten him a private tutor to try to help!! Now he's gotten to a point at home that he's lying and doing off the wall things! He lies about stuff that doesnt matter one way or another, example: "Someone left the bathroom light on!!" when you go to trun it off, its already off! Now I've found out that he's peeing in the trash can in their bathroom!?!?!?!!?! So I asked "Son why did you pee-pee in the trash can?!" he's response- "I couldnt get to the potty" now please keep in mind that the trash can is RIGHT next to the potty!!!!!!! I dont know why he lies!!!!!! Ive told him that if he can't go to the bathroom do what he needs to do and get out then someone will have to go with him! I just am at a lost!!!! I dont' know why he's lying!!!!
Has his vision been checked? My neighbor's son needed glasses for months before they figured it out. His grades improved immediately. Doesn't quite explain the other stuff, but maybe frustration would explain the behaviors? Good luck!
Some researchers believe there is strong evidence that reading is a neurobiological skill that some kids don't have until 7. This is why they don't teach reading in Finland until 7.
I'd like to suggest that some of your sons misbehavior might be due to him just being 5 and him being really frustrated by reading. If kids don't feel loved unconditionally, they will act up.
I really like the book gentle discipline. Hazel suggests it all the time, and its a terrific book for the 5 year old group.
If his actions are fine during school, what is going on during school that is working?
Are there consequences for telling lies?
Are there rewards for reading?
Is reading simply part of the family dynamic?
I would move the trash can to the outside of the bathroom. If it makes you feel any better my nephew used to pee into shampoo/conditioner bottles and had no explanation for it. My sister would give him "all in one" shamp/cond in a small cup for each shower and kept them out of is reach, he eventually stopped.
If you are so inclined you can "run with his lies" and let him face the natural consequences.
I am with Suzanne H. Check out the symptoms of ODD. My son is ODD / ADHD (more ODD). This sounds alot like him. He can hold it together at school and for the most part in public. At home it is entirely different. We have some instances of lying. Not alot right now and hopefully it won't get any worse. My son is 8 and in 2nd grade. We see a counselor and that has helped a tremendous amount. Just something to check into.
Check out the symptoms of ODD:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/oppositional-defiant-dis...
Without knowing more, that would be my first guess. My stepson is ADD and ODD. He will do the darndest things (that hurt himself) just because they break the rules/annoy people. He peed in bottles and hid them in his room. His room is 100 ft. from the bathroom. When we asked him about it he said he was too lazy to go to the bathroom. We asked him if he realized that people don't do that - keep urine in their room - he acted like we were completely off the wall to be upset about it. He had an appointment with his counselor; he finally seemed to somewhat accept that we weren't being ridiculous when she flat out told him that behavior wasn't normal. And yes, he can be a perfectly lovely child when he wants to be. Sweet and considerate. His teachers always talk about how helpful and kind he is but he has almost failed every single grade (and did fail K). He has had a private tutor every year just to eek by. He currently has to report to the guidance counselor's office for a study hall b/c his grades were so bad. He's in the 10th grade so this has been years and years. I hope I am wrong b/c it's a long road if I'm not. The hardest part is that, b/c they are so kind and sweet, no one believes you and thinks you are just an awful, hard a$$ parent and that's the problem! Good luck.
In addition to Patricia's suggestion about his vision....could he be seeking attention?
Hi, K.:
Your child is lying to meet a need.
Try to find a Narrative Therapist in your area.
Look on line to learn about the approach to help
with resolving your child's issue.
Good luck.
D.
