Traveling Mom Trying to Talk to My 7 Year Old Son.

My son is one year older than yours . I engage him in conversation by asking questions . Not just how was your day or did you do anything fun today, more like what was one thing you learned today, and what game did you play for p. e.?
He tries to give me one word answers but I ask questions that makes him elaborate on the subject, for example he will tell me he played soccer during p. e. And I will ask what position did you play? We're you goalie or did you score? Did anyone score? How did so-n-so get that score? and it usually gets him talking.

Does he talk with you in the morning and after school. If, when you're home he talks with you at times other than before and after school perhaps he doesn't talk because he's used to a different time.

aw, i'm sorry. sounds like this is hurting your heart.

my suggestion is that you DON'T try to make him talk. maybe he just likes talking with you more when you're there, and feels put on the spot to *converse* when you FaceTime with him. he's only 7, after all.

and his relationship with his dad is just different. i know it's hard, but try not to compare and contrast. you don't really WANT a relationship with your son like the one he has with his dad, anyway, right?

rather than cast about for things to talk about, or even the tried-and-true 'leading questions' gambit, how about keeping your eyes open during your travel days for fun things to just show him. 'dude! i was walking through the airport and had to pick up this shrunken head key chain!'

the head clearly needs a name and a back story. your son might just get interested in helping you find them.

or a postcard featuring a llama overlooking the ocean. what's the llama doing there? did his ladylove swim away? is he going to jump over a cliff?

or play him a bit of a song you heard that reminded you of him.

or make goofy faces at him.

or each of you get a bowl of ice cream and eat it companionably together without talking.

or just enjoy some pleasant quiet.

i think a lot of times that what feels like sharing to us feels to our kids like being grilled.

take the pressure off both of you and find non-verbal ways to FT.

khairete
S.

Our kids speak differently to me than to dad. Sometimes they want to 'impress' their dad. Go figure. I do most things for them (caring wise) around the house, and then they will say "Dad did this for me!" (whereas I actually was the one who did it for them). I let it go. My husband and I are together and have a pretty great marriage. I think (?) this is fairly typical with dads? I was with my dad. I thought my dad rocked, and my mom ... was my mom ...

So maybe your son, who rarely sees his dad, is saving up all kinds of things to impress his dad, hoping his dad will be interested, because his dad doesn't seem that interested - and you are just his safe constant. He knows you will always be there, and that's a good thing.

When I used to travel with work, this was the same thing. When I was in hospital at one point, the kids would come marching in, check out all the cool equipment, and kiss me, but that was about it.

When THEY needed a mom, I better be there though. And they all came to me with their problems. Then I made sure to put my stuff down. They still do (eldest ones are teens).

Just ask about his day. Maybe have him facetime you? (him pick a time?) Just make sure there's no a show on he likes, etc. at same time you're calling. Anyhow, don't be offended or hurt. It's pretty normal. Open ended questions and ask about his video games, friends, etc.

Hope that helps :)

7 yr olds often are not great conversationalist. Perhaps it just seems like he is talking to dad more from a bystander perspective and really it is about the same for you? When I talk to my grandkids on the phone, I am definitely carrying the conversation - what did you do, how was school, what's for dinner, maybe a silly story about how I visited with a princess and that's about it.

As an aside, I simply think you are wrong for lying about your situation to your child's father. I don't care what your circumstances are but lying never ever leads to anything good. You must also be asking your child to lie (or not tell, which is a lie of omission) and what a terrible spot to put a child in.