Toxic Friendship

You are not very clear on what exactly is happening. Are you having a prob with the hubs friend or are both of you and you want to end the friendship? If its just you then tell hubby he can hang out with his friend on his time and you don't have to be involved. if its both of you and you are concerned about the circle of friends, just let them know you are moving on from the best friend but still want to be involved with the rest of them and plan activities around the friend you are no longer going to see. good luck,

There really isn't enough information here for me to make a real informed reply...one persons' "toxic friendship" would be another persons' "quirks"...since this is your husbands' best friend...I would be careful about taking too much of the decision making onto your own shoulders. Have they been best friends for 2 years or 20 years?? Do they see each other once a week or once a year?? I would say this is in your husbands court...he needs to be the one making the decision.

Mindy:

Is your marriage in trouble?
How is this man toxic?
How do you propose to distance BOTH of you from your husband's best friend?
How do you propose to tell your husband he can't be friends with this guy anymore?
What is the "drama" from this man?

So with all of my questions, it is hard for me to answer your question because I don't have enough information to answer it.

Men mellow out pretty much at 40. If the friend is tolerable at all try to ride it out and one day you will hear yourself saying "I'm so glad you two finally grew up!"
Nothing worse than trying to pick your spouses friends for them, it will usually always cause chaos.

This is a very complicated question. Does your husband agree to distance himself from his friend? If not then will he be OK if just you distance yourself? Why would your friends feel awkward or have to choose sides?

Are you saying his best friend is not a part of the social circle because it seems that if they are then what each of your other friends decide to do would be based on their relationship with the friend instead of on your relationship with him.

You do not have to be a part of your husband's friend's drama even tho your husband spends time with him. You can have him be a part of your life while not allowing his drama creep into yours. You decide what you're going to accept and how you're going to feel about what is happening around you.

There just isn't enough info here to know whether or not it is best for your family for you distance yourself from him Obviously you want to distance yourself and so I say, do so based on your feelings and not the recommendation of strangers.

Can you give any examples? We have no idea what is going wrong, with the little you said.

Dawn

My husband has one particular friend I would like to take into the forest and drop off. He is, quite possibly, my least favorite person. I do not, however, have the right to ask my husband to give up his friend unless he is: a)disrespectful to me or our marriage or b) disrespectful or harmful to our children.

Having said that, if he is being desrespectful to me or mine and I have to tell my husband what he should be doing, I have way bigger fish to fry. How does your husband feel? What does he see going on and what does he think? What is this guy doing to cause you to want to cancel him out of your life?

I had the same issue. I eventually said to my husband that he could visit with that particular friend if he wanted to but the kids and I would not go with him. Eventually my husband saw for himself how obnoxious his "friend" really was and we have a perfectly happy life without them in it! Obviously, if we happen to run into them, we're polite but we no longer consider them friends. I totally agree that life is too short to put up with toxic people! Stick to your gut feeling on this one. Best wishes to you and your family.