To Go to He Wedding or Not!

I would do both. I would go to the wedding, go through the receiving line, grab a bite, then hop in my car and drive to enjoy the remainder of the camping trip.
That is me. A fear of missing out. I don't mind the drive if it accomplishes and eases my guilty feelings. I would do this, but you will need to decide how you feel about it all.
good luck.

If it were me, I'd go see the bride to be & my friend ahead of time, wielding an extra special gift & a huge heartfelt apology that I couldn't make it.

Just tell her you are sorry but you are unable to make it to her wedding since you had already had this camping trip planned before you knew when her wedding would take place. See if you can get together for lunch before or after the wedding and send her a nice gift.

I think with everything you've written, I would go camping.
Here's why:
-It's your friend's daughter not your friend getting married. Are you that close to her daughter? Your friend will be very busy w/the wedding itself, family in town etc.
-As we age, things change w/our friends & our immediate family take precedence.
-You are creating memories for your kids continuing w/the camping trip
-I wouldn't want to send my 2 yr old w/o me.
See? I could go on and on. I really think you should go camping as it doesn't sound like you have an ultra close relationship w/the daughter. It's with the mom.

When you advise her you are unable to attend, just say you will be out of town that very same weekend. Send a gift & card. Then try to meet up w/your friend in a few weeks to have lunch, have her tell you about the day & show you pictures.

Don't feel bad. Life changes as we age with kids and responsibilities of our own.

Hubby and I got married in July of 2012... So somewhat recently. There were several people who couldn't make it due to plans that they had already made. We didn't think any less of them because they couldn't make it. We understood!

I think that if you just explain to your friend the situation, she will understand.

I would just tell her right away that your whole family has a trip that weekend and you absolutely can not go. However, the mom of the bride usually enjoys showing off her dress, enjoying some attention, talking about the wedding etc so I would try and make it up to her by scheduling a date before the wedding to go get your nails done together, help her find shoes or accessories for her dress, have lunch etc so that you two can enjoy the wedding experience a little together since you are so close. I would also follow up after and go watch hours of wedding videos, photos etc! Good luck.

If the camping is something you've always done at the same time every year, then you have a prior engagement and you can't make the wedding.
Send your regrets and a nice present.

Are you close to the bride? Do you know her well? If she's like a second daughter, then you should go to the wedding. If you were on her "parents' guest list", then the bride won't miss you. Send a nice gift and call your friend after the wedding to get a play-by-play and details!

"I'm so sorry, we've already committed to another engagement for that day. Please be sure to let me know where your daughter and her fiance are registered...."

I've had to miss a wedding (extended family on one side) because of a camping trip I'd coordinated with immediate family on the other side. Sometimes, these things just happened. Let your friend know that you will be thinking of the happy couple and toasting them that day, and be sure to send a card and gift through your friend, so she knows you did so.

FWIW, I wouldn't ask if 'its okay' if you really don't want to go due to time conflicts, etc. Just apologize profusely and be sure to give her a call or two-- sometimes the support is needed in the weeks before the wedding.:)

How would you feel if the circumstances were reversed, and it was your only daughter getting married? However you would want her to handle it - that's how you should handle it imho.

Personally I would understand your situation if I were her. You still have very young kids at home, and you have a big family event already scheduled. And as you point out she will be very busy with the wedding events, guests, details, etc.

If it were me I'd send her daughter/new husband an extra-large gift, and make a date with my friend to go to lunch or dinner and look at all the beautiful wedding pictures.

Good luck - that type of situation can be tricky!

Explain that your have family obligations and ask what you can help with before the wedding weekend. If they are putting together favors or making up place cards or doing other dyi stuff your help might make it easier and much more fun.

Send a nice card and gift and have fun camping. When you get home set up a lunch so she can dish on the day's events.

Go camping... your friend will understand.

You're friends with the mother, not the bride, so RSVP your regrets and send a super nice gift to appease your misplaced guilt. Have fun camping!

i would find a beautiful gift for the couple-bring it to your friends house-tell her how happy n excited you are for all of them-then tell her exactly what you said here.your right she will be extremly busy n no real time to visit with you..and your family does come first.this is your time to build memories n bonds and have alot of fun.id say its a no brainer myself.im sure she will understand..and you wont be a shitty friend or person for taking care of your priorities..and if she doesnt understand-gets mad-well i guess thats your answer on your friendship-FAMILY COMES FIRST_PLAIN N SIMPLE...

Your friend isn't getting married but her daughter. If you are not particularly close to the daughter then I would say don't go. Even though a wedding is a once in a lifetime event and the camping happens every year, you seem like you would really rather go camping.

Send a gift for the bride and groom with your regrets and enjoy your camping trip. If you RSVP early enough perhaps that would free up space for someone to go to the wedding who really wanted to be there.

No hard feelings. No one I know has mastered being in two places at one time and again this isn't your friend's wedding but her daughter's wedding.

I personally would go to the wedding and let the rest of the family go camping. I understand you'll miss the camping (and it sounds fun!), but .. this is the kind of thing we do for our friends.

I'd go to the wedding. You go camping every year. God willing, your friend's daughter will only get married once. Once in a lifetime trumps annual.

Can you be somewhat honest with her? I assume you already accepted the wedding and then this camping trip came up. If not, definitely say you had the trip planned first and can't make it. But if you already accepted, can you ask her if she'd be really upset and for her to be honest. Say you want to be there for her but given your hsuband will have to handle 4 kids, your 2 year old will need you and this is a big family event for you. Ask if she think she's going to be so busy that she won't really miss you or if she was counting on you to hang out with her a lot. Hopefully she will realize that expecting you to give up a whole weekend so she can chat with you for 10 min isn't fair. Or - maybe she really does need you there. Then hopefully it'll be clarified and you'll feel like attending the wedding isn't a waste. It is her daughter's wedding vs HER wedding so I don't think discussing it with her is out of line. First keep in mind what kind of friend/person she is. Is she a 'it's all about me" type? If so, she might say she needs you there regardless. If you know that's not really true - she has plenty of other people, I might just tell her i can't go. It'd help to know if you'd already rsvp'd yes or hadn't replied yet... I"m assuming with an Oct wedding you had.

If it were your friend, maybe go. Your friend's daughter, no. Go camping with your family.

If you already rsvped you need to go. There will not be another wedding but there will be another camping trip. Yes you'll miss it but your not obligated to go theore. You are obligated at the wedding if you already said you'd be thrte

If it was indeed a really good friend of mine, I'd suck it up and go. Its a big day for her seeing her only daughter get married. I'm thinking she'd need the support. That being said...it would really have to be a close friend and if it was I know I'd know most her family/friends too so I wouldn't be worried about sitting alone.

Camping.
Send a _______ (card/gift/flower etc).
Done.

A nice gift, your heart felt apology and enjoy your weekend with the kids.

Will that not hurt your friends feelings? Who knows. I know that mine would be, but I also know I get over things pretty quickly, so we'd be able to move on from it.

Go camping. Your family comes first. Send a nice gift and all will be forgiven.

I guess I don't understand...you've been such good friends but you're not in the wedding? Your kids are not in the wedding? That sounds like you're not close.

If your friendship is a distant one then tell her you already have plans. If you're close friends but don't do stuff together all the time then I think it's okay for hubby and kids to not go but you should.

I also think you could go to the wedding and then join the family.

You have already made plans. That is the reality. It's not "shitty" of you to not go when you already have something scheduled. I like Diane D's idea of letting her know you have family obligations, and offering to help in some way prior to the date.

I agree with Angela S. Do as you would have done to you.

If it were me- I would go camping and send a decent sized gift.

If you already RSVP yes then I would go. If not I would go camping. Are you even close to the daughter? Send a nice gift and go have a good time with your family.

You don't get to decide how she will feel about your absence, so stop it. Either you decline and wish her well (later telling her, if she asks, that your family had already planned to be out of town) or you go. I don't get why sitting alone is an issue, but if it is, then drag a girlfriend along or find a buddy there. Your focus for this event should be on the bride and groom, so it shouldn't matter to you if you're the only other person in the room or if you're one of a million guests. Who sits next to you doesn't factor into that at all.

I would go to the wedding. You are childhood friends. There will be more opportunities for camping but only one (hopefully) chance to be with your friend on such a big day. The older I get the more I treasure my friendships. I have a handful of close friends and they mean so much to me.

Skip the wedding. You have a family weekend already planned. Can you fly out there for a shower instead? Chances are the bride won't really care at all if you're not there - not to say she doesn't care about you, but just because you are her mom's friend and not hers.

Sounds like you have a family commitment that happens to be on the same weekend of the wedding. It is important for you to be with your family.

I guess turn it around. When one of your kids gets married and her daughter has a fun party the same weekend would you expect this friend to not go to the fun party with her close family to go to your child's wedding?

Camping!

There will be enough people at the weeding & pictures..

Send an RSVP with a note attached saying your sorry you can't make it and send the gift you would have given the daughter of your very good friend.

Since you are friends with the mom and not the daughter, I would go camping and send a nice gift. Will you be invited to any showers? If so, that's a good time to spend time with the mother of the bride and congratulate the daughter.

Everyone will be busy at the wedding, and I'm sure it wouldn't be much fun without your hubby there.

Enjoy camping with your family. Yes, there is only one wedding (hopefully!) but then again your kids will only be their ages once!