Sucks to ask...but I Have To!

Hmm...I wouldn't marry a guy that wouldn't go down on me - sorry - that is a deal breaker in my world. Wish i was kidding...but I'm not. :-)

I think you need to talk to him about this and get to the root of hte problem. I do know that very few of my friends get oral sex from their spouses - but they don't give it either!!!

Good luck.

Perhaps you should stop bending over?

It does take two. And you are one of those two...so literally - stop bending over.

Get you a pair of handcuffs, strap him to the bed, and have it your way. That's my advice. And I am sure he won't object. :)

I can identify with your guy, and I have known a few people who were like this as well. I think that some people tend to be a bit OCD and/or germ-phobic and sexual acts/making out/kissing are a bit of a struggle for that reason. If I am being completely honest, I hate kissing and get grossed out by fluids. Sometimes I can turn off my mind and not be bothered by it. It does help if my husband is totally clean, teeth recently brushed, hair down there not out of control (sorry to be so totally honest and out there!) Alcohol does help me let go of my inhibitions so that I am not quite so prudish and uptight.
So, hopefully I am being a little reassuring in that it really has nothing to do with you not being desirable, my guess is that your hubby has some sexual hangups or OCD going on. I think that having sex more often and being more "experimental" does help me with my hangups, so you could maybe just initiate makeout sessions/sex more often. He is probably not going to initiate a make-out session on his own, at least not to start off with. You may have to be the one to push him to "expand his repetoire" by taking the lead. There is a good chance that once he enjoys himself that next time, he will be more apt to initiate or agree to other positions/kissing/makeout/etc. Good luck!

I hear you. I agree I would be pissed at him. For once I am stumped for an answer.

1. Tell him you are bored and need variety and intimacy.
2. This should be a part of foreplay, as well as general fun cuddle time that doesn't even lead to sex.
3. What the hell? Oh my.... and you are all fresh and trimmed and stuff? That would bother me... a lot. As in, no more intimate time, like ever.

Honestly, you do not have to do the doggie style with him. If he tries to do it or flip you over, just tell him no thanks and walk away. You have asked him, talked to him... now just follow through with it. It sounds like he is avoiding intimacy for whatever reason and just using the easiest route to get off himself without even attempting to please you. Yuck! Sounds like some reading on intimacy and it's importance would be useful for you both to read together, he is acting very selfishly and it may be stemmed from some deep rooted issues. Really, you are compromising EVERY time. It's his turn.

I suggest that some of the time you initiate and do it the way you want and ignore whether or not it makes him happy. Over time he will get accustomed to your way and enjoy it. Accepting new things is more difficult for some than for others. Teach him the new things and soon they won't be new any more. For example, while sitting on the couch watching TV you start making out with him. I think he'll eventually get aroused.

Talking hasn't worked. Next step is to take action. If that doesn't work, after a few months of concerted effort then I suggest that counseling would be the next step. He could have psychological issues that are holding him back.

I suggest 2 things. First is concealing. He is clearly not listening to you or making your needs important and that has to stop, so getting a third party involved to help you learn to communicate with each other better may help a lot. Second, I would stop having sex with him. Make out, kiss, cuddle, but no sex until you get what you need to make you feel intimately connected enough to want to have sex. And if will not give you oral, stop giving it to him. Pleasure needs to go both ways.

First, I can't kiss my husband (or anyone for that matter) for extended periods of time. I can't breathe, it almost like a claustrophobic panicky feeling. Hubby gets that and most of the time he can tell when I need to "come up for air".

Second, I hate giving oral. Hate it. Once or twice a year I will give in and do it for DH, but I simply don't like doing. There's nothing wrong with my husband; I just don't like to do it.

The positions thing, maybe make a game out of it. Like a "dirty twister" kind of thing? I don't know. I'm at a loss on that one.

wow 2 and 3 would bother M. ALOT. I agree with H&H about it being a deal breaker too. They should want to please you. My bf didn't really like 3 either at first (apparently some girls aren't clean and also some don't ask?) until he got good at it and loved the reaction he got. Maybe he doesnt realize how much better it is for you. For M. thats better in a lot of ways than the act itself. Voice your opinion. At first I would tell him I wanted it and he'd oblige and now he enjoys it and I don't have to ask. Also do you do that for him?
Honeslty start spicing things up. Show up in outfits and start intitiating and being in control more. Let him know you're in control this time and he'll probably enjoy the fun change . I'd be upset if someoneneeded to be drunk to do that to M.

Take the lead.

Build up an entire fantasy scenario where you are in charge of everything that happens, including positions. Tie him up with scarves. Climb on. Kiss him.

It sounds like you need to do more than just lay there and let him move you or direct you.

Sex therapy may help.

Perhaps he had some kind of traumatic thing happen to him that has him turned off from #3.

I say go to a therapist and work it out or perhaps intergrate adult games into the mix. I have these wonderful dice. You roll them and do what they say. It's great fun with a bottle of wine, crackers and cheese.

Get the dice girl and see if that works.

Would he consider going to a sex therapist? I would start there. Good luck! Also, put TMI in your headline at top to give other mamas a warning about what kind of questions you are asking.....it may help you get a better response.

I think I could have better advice if I knew what the excuses he gives are for not wanting/liking all these things? Can you tell us what he says when you ask him about this?

I don't particularly like to look at my husband during sex - I get embarrassed, so it is probably the same with your hubs - Could you try maybe doing it in the dark, or wearing a blindfold (you, not him) I bet he just doesn't like you to see his "fukc face" lol. It sounds like he loves you. My husband hates kissing, hates the noise of kissing, and the way it feels and looks - He will go down on me though, not often, but enough, maybe every other month or so.

Depending on what his excuses are, I think I would be offended! Like you, I would wonder why he can't look at me while we're having sex. Hmmmm....

Although I'm not religious, I borrowed my friends minister for my wedding. He's a really cool guy who met with my Husband and I a few times to chat about the wedding. We read 5 Love Languages, (which looks goofy, But I highly recommend!) He counseled us, and told us the top 3 subjects we should talk about are Sex, Money, and Children- Make sure your OK with these 3 things before marriage, Because they are the reason for heartache later on. If sex is not good before marriage when you are new and dating, uhmm, that's a red flag to me. And it may be fine for him to meet his needs sexually or anyplace else, But not if he's ignoring what you need. You've got to please each other. Be positive. Tell him what you DO like. And get him out of his shell.

Okay, not all men like "going down" on women it's a personal choice, you can not force it upon him. Again not all men get anything out of kissing, personal choice. I also know a man who can only finish in the "doggy style" position. Honestly - he sounds like an ex of mine! You have to understand that passion will not always be there in the bedroom. He does appear to be selfish, but this is also one sided. I think my only suggestion to you is to hold out on the things he likes or seek outside help. You could also look up other positions that may give a simmilar stimulation to him and give you what you are looking for - but I do not get the looking at each other thing because my eyes are closed for the most part!

Ask him what his fantasy is...have you done that? If not you should. If it's something you are game to try...DO IT!

Then tell him what yours is...in detail.

My hubs is a prude...door locked, in the bedroom only. But he does do what I ask him to do. Sometimes we women are just more sexual than the man we marry. We have to be the "beggers"...which i have turned into "initiator".

my guy is not a make out guy either unless he is in the mood, we have the SAME THREE positions and lately i have only really enjoyed it the way your husband does, who knows just talk to him OR randomly surpirse him after the kid is in bed jump his bones go down on him and hop on top and see what happens

hey, you know what...i wasnt gona answer...yousay your pregnant now right? maybe hes "scared" of your belly.....not the sight of it...hurting you and the baby. so the position he has chosen he thinks is the safest?
also, with oral, if you are pregnant be careful about "air" going inside. I remember something about my OB telling me in can cause air pockets or something.
my DH doesnt go south either. He never has his whole life....and heres the funny part...you ready....when I got divorced i got a tattoo down there...it says "its not gona lick itself". why did ii do that? I have no clue. For 8 years now everytime I go to the dr i get a comment and All i wanted to do was piss my ex off....I hope my mother doesnt read this...

how about making coupons....like you would for valentiines day or whatever and on them put "free for one me on top night...." etc.....

What does he say when you ask him about these things, what kinds of excuses is he giving you? Need more info...

Im sorry you feel this way. As far as kissing, I too love to kiss but I don't like the way my husband kisses! He tries to swallow my face and I hate it! He's real touchy-feely and im that way if im not in the middle of something but it always seems to come out of nowhere! I love sex but while the kids are awake or im doing dishes, get away!! Its like he's ready to go at any time and im just not! You too have to be on the same page but if I was told I would get my mug down once he was drinking, id say no thanks! My husband is opposite. We would be permanently stuck in a 69 if it was up to him but sometimes I don't want to get all "porno" on him. I like the closeness of it and I like to enjoy that part. Im not sure how to help you really but I wanted to say that marriage is a compromise. Somedays are great and some aren't but communication is key imo. Tell him it hurts your feelings and that you need this from him. I hope it gets better mama! Congrats on the baby!