Stubborn 3 1/2 Yo Potty Issues

I completely know how you feel!! My son is six and he still has that kind of issue. I have asked other mothers of boys and it seems to be common! They tell me he will grow out of it.

I totally agree with the other response that suggests you let him run around without his underpants. It worked so well with my son. As a mom of a strong-willed little girl, I can tell you that she used going in her pants at 3 as a way to control things. She was definitely able to do it in the potty, just wouldn't all the time. One thing you can do is find bigger and better things for him to be in charge of, or maybe responsibilities that make him feel like a big boy. It might give him the extra push that he needs. But in addition to that, I believe that once it becomes a matter will, there should be a consequence. I took "big kid" privileges away, even if it meant a parent had to stay home from a fun outing and make sure there was nothing fun going on at home. A friend mentioned a consequence that worked really well for her, although I can't tell you fist hand, because I didn't try it...When her child would go in his pants she would calmly say, "Uh-oh, I guess we have to wash off." Then she would rinse him off in the tub with cold water. Her son learned really fast that way.

S.,
I had the EXACT same problem with my son. After he pooped his pants, he would say "it was an accident". I received advice on here and it worked. I went to the library and borrowed both the book and the DVD, "Once Upon a Potty." My son generally (80% of the time) goes poop at the same time of the day. So, I would bring the potty in the living room, put the DVD on, and we'd watch "Once Upon a Potty." The key point that the book/DVD makes is that you have to "sit on it, and sit on it, and sit on it....etc).
Another thing we did was make a poopy chart separate from the peepee chart. I told my son that when he went poopy on the potty x number of times, he would get a ride-in jeep (that's the 1 thing that he wanted). For each and every poopy, he got a prize from the prize bin (matchbox cars) and if he went in his pants, whatever toys he was playing with at the time went into the prize bin. He had to win them back by peeing 5 times in the potty or pooping once. So, he would try really hard to get his toys back. He started pooping in the potty a week after we did these 2 things.
I hope this helps. I did the yelling due to frustration thing you are going through and it sucks! This helped make our home so much happier. Good luck.
K.

Hi S.!
I was in you same position!! Trust me it comes and when it does you are going to be so relieved!! What helped me was a chart (which I said I would never do) a smiley face when he did it and a big prize which I bought and kept on top of the refrige and when we went through the week/2week he got it! We made the chart together and he was excited! He also watched his older brother (7yrs) go this helped him also, he wants to be like his big bro. Don't yell or lose, it doesent help!! Believe me I yelled, screamed, cried, it never works only makes them more scared!! Good Luck!!
K.

OK, I'm just dealing with the same problem with my almost 3 year old son. This is what I've done for the past 3 days and I think it's working. I've been letting him run around with just a long t-shirt on. He pooped on the floor twice and was very disturbed that his poo went down his leg and onto the floor. Then, the 3rd time he ran over and pooped in the potty. Same with the 4th time (this just happened). I really think that it was just a matter of making him aware that the poop was coming out - his underwear felt too much like a diaper when it came to pooping. Anyway, I think I'll keep him in the t-shirt for a while when we're at home so that he gets into the habit. Good luck - I hope you find a solution!!

Dear S.,
I have a STRONG WILLED, but sweet little 3 1/2 year old girl who also has potty issues.I was told by a nurse that three year olds have little control, but they know they can control their bowels. Is your son strong willed? He may also like the negative attention he gets when you react to him pooping in his pants. Kids are like that. My daughter laughs at me when I react. She even will hold back her poo with her little bum cheeks for a couple days. I had to hug her and patiently remain calm while waiting a half hour for her to go. I know she felt much better.My little girl won't even pee for me in the potty. Then again I should be more consistant. Maybe, your son remembers a time when it hurt to make a B.M so he is hesitent to go all at once.When you get really frustrated just remember you are not alone, and know this too shall pass.
No pun intended.I believe we are being trained to be patient and self controlled by God when we have to wait for progress.
We are in this together. Hang in there, L.

S.,
I agree with the poster about "Once Upon a Potty" We had the book, not the DVD but my son really "got it" after reading that a few times.
If it's any consolation, my son is 5, and I feel like I'm still always saying "Do you have to poop?" He will say when he has to go but sometimes he puts it off...and off....and off! I'm always stressing about him going before he leaves the house for Kindergarten!

Hi S.,
I feel your pain! My son will be 4 around Thanksgiving and he just started using the potty. Like your son, he wouldn't say a word and just sit in his dirty pant until I figured it out. Eventually I realized it was a control issue. So I let him run around naked and if he had an accident he had to help clean it up. I wasn't mean about it - just matter of fact. I explained this was his responsibility and he needed to 'listen to his body'. With my son he didn't want to stop playing to use the bathroom and I think he figured out that if he made a mess, cleaning it all up tool a heck of a lot longer. Also I really cheered and made a big deal when he did use the potty. My son is also starting school next week and I called to talk to the director to see what the rules were on potty training. Your sons school may be flexible about it so don't give up. Call and find out. When I tell you that my son JUST learned to use the potty I'm not kidding. He wouldn't even sit on the toilet until a month ago and now he does #1 and #2 with no problem. I never thought he would get it and did my share of yelling, so hang in there. Your little one will get it soon!! Hope this helps.

Hi S.:

Here are some web sites:

http://www.cdadc.com/ds/potty_training.htm

http://www.babycenter.co.uk/baby/health/constipationexpert/

http://www.good-child-guide.com/

Hope this helps. D.