Still Wanting More Kids.

I have only one kid, but I belong to the neocathecumenal way of the Catholic church. There are sisters of my community that have more than three children, 4, 5, 6, 7 even 11. The thing is being open to life, not only in having children, but open to the life of other, the husband, the attention to the children. You will see how in this pace of mind, lord will give you the number of children he has for you. Relax! babies need a lot of attention. The next will come exactly when is the right moment. I will be praying for you.

Hi J.,

I have 3 children, 8, 6 & 4. For quite some time after my third, I was mourning not having a 4th child. I love, love love babies. First, your baby is still very young. Give it some time and see how you feel. It may be that in a couple years, if the timing works for you, it may be possible to have another child. Honestly though, I've found that as my children have gotten older, it is a relief to leave behind some of the challenges of the infant/toddler stage. Occasionally I still find myself longing for an infant, but realistically, our family is at capacity emotionally. Even with 3, I feel like I don't have enough time to devote individually to my children. Adding a 4th just isn't feasible given the personalities in our house. Also as the kids get older and involved in more and more activities, it becomes a logistical challenge, and the youngest ends up doing a lot of waiting around near classes and ballgames. So, I guess I've dealt with it by not looking at it from the perspective of what I want (baby), but from the perspective of what is best for the family I have right now, and a busier and more frazzled mom simply isn't it. It is sad, because my kids love babies too, and are very good with them whenever we are around a young cousin or friend. They have lobbied for another baby.

J.: Hi. I wanted more kids after my two boys and my husband put it rather nicely and said he was very happy and satisfied with two. I really wanted to have a girl. I have three older brothers, my Mother is gone, no Aunts, etc. And on my side of the family we have 5 nephews among the four of us. I wanted more kids after my second was six months old.
Now that I'm 41 I don't long for another as much. I think more about complications and how a 3rd C-section would feel on my body. Dealing with the fact that you won't have any more babies is hard. But I was able to have two so I feel blessed. My sister-in-law who is 10 years younger than me has been trying for over a year. I try to keep everything in perspective.
I'm sure if I really really really wanted another I could have convinced my husband, but that's not a good compromise. If someone really doesn't want more children I think you have to accept that. I just keep reminding myself how lucky I am to have two healthy boys and now just this year I have 90 minutes per day to myself because they are in Pre-K and K in the mornings. Also my husband is one of eight and I'm sure that has something to do with it. Good luck with your decision.
L.

Hi J.,

I know what you are feeling. I have two children, a 6 year-old daughter and a 3 year-old son, but I desperately want a third. My husband is opposed to it mostly for financial reasons; we would need a bigger house/car and the ecomony is in the pits. He also feels we have our hands full already with two high spirited and quite demanding children. Despite these things, I have this desire that will not go away. My youngest just turned 3, and 3 seems like a kid and no longer a baby. I have tried putting it out of my mind, telling myself I'm fine with two, but I just can't stop thinking about it. My husband will not even talk about it so I am just praying that he will change his mind, or that it will just happen anyway. I don't want to wait too long. My I have never wanted more than a four year age difference between kids, so we would have to do it soon. I don't want the youngest child to be so much younger that they feel left out of everything.
I don't know, perhaps as times goes on, and my kids get older, I will get over this feeling but for now I am almost obessessed with it. I feel like I will always wonder what the 3rd would have been like, looked like etc...
Good luck making your decision. Is your husband on the same page? That makes it so much easier. If my husband were on the same page, I would have had the third one by now!

I know this feeling.It's hard to let go sometimes.
My kids were 9 and 10 when I had another one.
Just enjoy them right now and if you are not to " old" later on you can always have another one.
We got a puppy this time !!!
Good luck

I feel your pain. I'm 38 and feeling exactly the same. How does your husband feel? My husband says we are done and mostly because I can't keep up the house after my 6, 5 and 3 year olds. Not forgetting the oldest who just turned 40 and myself. Knowing that I won't have a little baby anymore makes me feel old and like you, at the end of a wonderful part of my life. I'm hoping for a slip up! It's a hard decision, hopefully your husband will support whatever it is you would like to do. Good luck.