Advice on Having 3Rd Child

There ar lots of wonderful little boys out there who need homes if he doesn't have to be a "Gerber Baby". Consider adoption. There are children in foster care who are available for adoption. Yes it is a long expensive process if you insist on what the child should look like, but if you consider a child of a different race, biracial, or older you would be amazed at the doors that would open to you.

Have the 3rd. Children bring us the most joy in life. Especially as we get older. I have 2 boys and my 3rd is a girl. They all bring me an immense amount of joy. I wish I had had more.... I say, go for it!

I have three girls (9, 7 and 5) and a little boy (20 months). The girls love each other most of the time, but I think any sibling will have that kind of relationship. If you get pregnant now and have a girl the 20 month old will get a long well with it and the 5 yr old will be a great help.

Don't get hung up on having a boy. The gender of the baby should not matter in the grand scheme of things. It's not like you can say "no, I don't want it now that I know it is a girl". we were not trying for a boy, to be honest we thought we were done at 3. We thought we were having another girl. either way we were very happy.

I must say that it really bothers me when people say "Oh so you held out for a boy." Like a girl is not as precious.

I am 38 and even though I would not love to go through pregnancy again, I don't feel that I am too old to do it again.

I hope this helps.

I too have two little girls. I am pregnant with my third and terrified it will be a little girl. Not that it wouldn't be awesome but your right, three's a crowd!

That aside, I am not in your situtation. But as I was reading your question I kept thinking you and your husband would be great adoptive parents. You already have biological children and want to be able to have a boy. It sounds like you have an awesome family dynamic and a very strong marriage. I think you would be great parents to a little boy in need of a family like yours.

I'm not sure if this is something you have even considered or would consider, I just thought I would put in my two cents! Good luck with a very tough decision.

I just wanted to say that you will never regret having another child, but you may later regret not having another one.

I mean this is the kindest way possible. If you will be 38 soon if you got pregnant right now you would be pushing 39 at birthing. I know women are having children at ever advancing ages but I worry about those kids future. I find it interesting that people think about the birthing age most....why not think about the future. As it is now when your youngest is ready to be on her own at say 21? you will be in your mid 50's which is a time to be planning retirement isn't it? Instead you will be paying for college for a few more years. I was a later in life baby (mom was 38) and I tell you it was most difficult to be young and have "older" parents and then they both succombed to unforseen illness and passed away in their 60's(and I was late 20's and early 30's) and lost my parents....my daughters didn't get to know their grandparents, something that bothers me to this day (I am now 50, their father 58 and our youngest just turned 21 and I was conflicted having a baby at 29!). There can be issues with any family size and no guarantee of the sex of another one, and the fact that you mentioned plans for the near future and struggling mentally with another pregnancy seem to indicate that you are conflicted. Once you are pregnant you can't turn back. You have healthy kids, a subsequent might not be so fortunate. And YES, there is a high chance that you would have another girl, would that be good? What about your current baby, where would either place her? Another girl might fit in, but a boy? One of my sisters had 2 boys, wanted a girl, got one (and my niece is the BEST) but that really made my middle nephews life tough in some ways. You don't think your middle would feel the favoritism toward the special boy? I have 2 sisters whom I love dearly but it has not always been a bed of roses :) jealousy, inseccurities and always trying to be in higher regard with the parents, it's just a fact and what I've seen....in many families. I always liked the odds of 2 kids, 2 parents, you can't be in 3 places....and you are a full-time working mom. You have a lot to do. Best of Luck to you!

I am the oldest of 5 girls and i have four girls. Some of us just don't have boys...lol! My girls have their moments...but they get along great for the most part. I don't think 3 girls is a crowd..or 4 for that matter...it is a lot of fun :) Best wishes to you.

L.,

Although there are some differences, our situations are quite similar!I had my first child at age 35 - a GIRL. My second was born when I was almost 38 - a GIRL. My third was not planned and was born 13 months later when I was almost 39 - a BOY! When I learned I was pregnant with the third, I was devastated! After the initial shock, I remembered that God has a plan and that this baby was part of His plan. This statement could not have been more true! I cannot imagine how much we would have been missing from our lives if we had not had our third child, and I do not say this only because it was a boy. Our family is so blessed. My children are now 17, 14 and 13 and they are just such a joy - all THREE of them! I work full-time (plus lots of extra hours) outside the home. Until my third was born, both of us worked full-time and we had our girls in daycare...and they were sick a LOT! When my son was born, my husband quit his job and became a full-time-at-home dad to our three children. This financial adjustment was difficult at first, but God provides and it has worked beautifully. My husband has not returned to the work force and we do not plan for him to do so until all of our children are out of high school. Anyway, I just wanted to give you my story because my age at that time was close to your age now. Don't let your age come into play in your decision! I had three problem-free pregnancies and three perfect babies! Our kids have kept my husband and me from getting old! You cannot afford to get old...we are on the go ALL of the time with all three active in sports and it is FANTASTIC! My kids all love each other and will defend each other to any "outsider" but will fight like cats and dogs at home. That gets better as they get older. So, I say GO FOR IT!!! Good luck with your decision. My husband and I will pray for you.

hi, I read through all of your responces and you sure did get a variety of answers but I hope you will read mine with an open heart... I was 40 when my third boy was born...

I started having kids after the age of 35... I choose to have kids later in life, so I don't know any dfferent, I had one miscarrage between my 2nd and 3rd child and I was at no more risk than any other person. After my first two boys I knew that if I had a 3rd it would be a boy, they just run in my husbands family, so my thoughts were that if I didn't want a boy there was no reason to try for a third, although a girl would have been fine, a third child was what I really wanted.

I got pregnant right after my 40th birthday and he was born just befor my 41st birthday, there were some complications to my pregnancy but they were not age related. yes I was at higher risk of having a child with Down Syndrome but that was a risk I was willing to take, my Age was my only risk factor, there was no history of DS or any other genetic disorders in my family. As far as my pregnancy, yes it was a bit harder but it is a distant memory now (at 45). some of your readers I'm sure will be horrified but I went straignt from pregnant nursing weaning and then in to peri menopause, just part of being, but it is just a part of life, you have to take it in stride. And I'm VERY Happy with my choice to have 3... even at resturaunts, amusement parks and other places greared for 4 people. My Husband, although wonderful, is gone often and I do feel the "aloneness" of it all, but I don't regret it a bit. As far as any of my kids feeling like the old man out, I take the time to make each of my boys feel special in their own way, and they are well adjusted for it. they get along great and they take a positive approach to takeing care of each other too. but that is a learned behavior, and you have to teach it to them from day one. I can't speak for girls... but for my three boys, life is great! I would have regret not having 3.

As far as the anniversary I was pregnant for my 10th, had a big wedding to go to pregnant, and I competed in a pageant for married women when I was 40 yrs old and 6 months along, even wore a bikini for it! don't let it scare you, you can be beautiful and pregnant at 38+!!!

please feel free to ask questions, 40 and pregnant is hard work but it isn't a death sentence by any means!

I have two girls and am currently pregnant again. I don't know what i am having yet. I struggled with it for about 6 months. my husband really wanted to stop but said if i really wanted another one that was fine with him. i thought alot about if i would regret not having a bigger family. and on the flip side i thought about the extra time, energy and money. but i came to the conclusion when i looked at my future family i wanted another kid. i knew i would never regret having one but i was worried i would regret not having one. as for the boy thing - we would LOVE to have a boy. but i know girls, i have plenty of clothes for a girl and she would certainly fit right in to our family. :) i'll be happy either way.

i personally hated pregnancy, so that's a factor to me. i wouldn't be comfortable getting pregnant over the age of 35, so another factor. and i love my 2 boys so much, i can't imagine having the energy to handle a third! so no, stick with 2 and be happy with what you have!

This Christmas holiday I had my third boy. I went through a similar situation. I was so confused about having a third child. I really wanted another, my husband was completely happy with being a family of four. I have some back issues from a college accident and pregnancy really takes its toll on my body. Not to mention the work I have to do post pregnancy not only with my back but to get my shape back as well. I have been a stay at home mom for quite some time. My oldest is five, my second son turned two yesterday and my third will be one month on the 23rd of this month. I got my teacher certification and was eagerly looking forward to get my career going. Hubby and I had given ourselves 6 months to really think about if we wanted another baby or not. Agian he did not want another and I was back and forth. Four months into our 6 months I found out I was pregnant and I was not happy to hear the news. But I thought perhaps we can have the little girl my hubby always wanted. Our third boy is here and he fits right into our family and of course we love him to death. My career has been postponed, our finances are strained but thats the sacrafice you make to stay at home. So my advice to you is have a child if you want a child not a specific sex. Give yourself a time span and you and hubby can come together at the end of that time and really decide how to move forward. Talk with your doctor about all the risks associated with having a child after 36 and really consider how your life would be affected if you have a special needs child. My middle son has some special needs and these two years have not been easy. I don't have any regrets my children are my blessings. My oldest two fight all the time, I am hoping the second and third will get along better because they are closer in age. Good luck to you whatever you decide.

Our original plan was to have two children, and we were blessed with two beautiful, intelligent daughters (I was 26 and 30 for their births). As a full-time working mom, I figured this was all we could handle -- it wouldn't be fair to have more kids because I already felt torn apart about being able to spend enough time with my two. In early 2005 we had a totally unplanned pregnancy and just as I got my head around it, I miscarried. By this time our lives had changed . . . we moved, I was only working part-time (from home) . . . so our lives weren't quite so hectic and I started thinking "I do really want another child." I had no preference as to boy or girl -- I just wanted another child. My husband did not. But ultimately he saw it was important to me. We welcomed daughter #3 in January 2007, when I was the ripe old age of 38! So I now have 3 girls, ages 15, 10 1/2 and 3, and they are the lights of my life. They love each other very much and have very little conflict. I do sometimes regret the big age difference for my youngest, but no regrets about going for a third, or having a third daughter. They are all healthy and intelligent, and I love being their mom!

If you don't want to get/be pregnant, adopt. If you don't mind being pregnant, use the Shettle's Method for conceiving a boy.
There's little chance you will ever think "gosh I wish we hadn't had a third" but you may always wonder what it would have been like if you don't.

Hi there. I struggled and struggled and struggled with the decision of whether or not to have a second child. I was happy with one and we all know that pregnancy, childbirth and alot of what goes on during the first several years is hard work! I recommend praying about this. Ask God to send you a child if you are ready and should have another and if this is not in his plans for you, then he will not do it. It's such a big life change. Maybe instead of trying to figure out if it's right for you, you should put your trust in the Lord and see what happens. After really struggling with this decision personally, I decided I probably did not want to have a 2nd child, but God decided otherwise. Now, looking back, I cannot imagine my life without this blessing.

i'm 42 having my third-- i'm very excited. We both really wanted to have a third-- i wish i were younger to have more. Yes it is hard but oh so rewarding. Can't wait for my new little one to arrive.

If:
You want another child
And:
You particularly want a boy
Then:
Adopt a little boy.

I have 3 girls, just turning 5, 3 and 2 in the next couple months. I had the last one at age 43 (first at age 40). After my 2nd (and knowing there wasn't much time due to my age), I didn't feel I was done. We just left it up to a "higher power" ... the last two are 13 months apart (and I was told I didn't have much chance of even having a second!). We love our 3 girls and they love having each other (even if there is a bit of drama at times in our house!)

I didn't read all of your responses, but thought I'd respond anyway! I'm the oldest of 3 girls and we're about the age differences you'd have if you had another right now. I was always more of the "loner" growing up because they were closer in age and probably mostly because I wanted it that way! Ha! But it was by no means a negative thing to me. My parents treated us all the same and no one felt like a 5th wheel. We squabbled as much as any siblings growing up I guess, but today we're all very, very close and the best of friends!

I also have 3 kids myself. We had 2 boys and were trying to decide on a third, too. I said no way for quite a while (I was scared of having twin boys!!) But my husband really wanted a third, and I finally decided that I may always regret NOT having a 3rd, but I would never regret having a 3rd. We worried about financially being able to give them everything, too, so that's a consideration. I'm a SAHM, so that may not be as big a deal for you since you work... Anyway, as soon as I finally wrapped my head around it and decided, "Yeah, let's do it!", I got pregnant! And I could not imagine this world or our lives without our beautiful baby girl!! And I know we'd have adored a little boy just as much!

I can't speak to the age thing, but I certainly wouldn't trade a lifetime of THREE amazing kids for not being pregnant at a party one night, or for an anniversary that you can easily celebrate another time. I know those aren't your biggest reasons; just wanted to offer another possible way to look at it! :) My 3rd pregnancy was definitely the most uncomfortable and I was only 33, so it's probably not going to be pleasant, but again, it's such a short time of discomfort compared to a lifetime with a child!

Good luck!

This is a tough one. I don't think you'd ever regret having a 3rd if you are even slightly wanting a 3rd. We have three and I also wasn't sure. My hubby wanted a 3rd all along, we always planned on having 3, but he got activated with the military and was gone for 2 year...being a single mom to a 2 and 3 year old was tough! So, when he came back I wasn't all hyped up about having #3. Then, we started trying and it took us almost 2 years! Anyway, my situation was different b/c I already had a boy and a girl. I find my girl to be tough and we tend to butt heads, so I was praying for another boy, and I got one! He's the greatest. It's had having so many young ones at the same time, but it's also hard having two "big kids" (now 8 & 9) AND a little one (23 months). Balancing gets harder...a table for 5 instead of 4, amusement park rides are for 2 or 4 people, not 3, dinner packages are for 4, etc. But, I think you always figure out what works for your family and you just do it. If I were you, my concerns would be working and having 3 little ones, plus being a little older (I was 34 when I had my last one) your body handles pregnancy differently and I find my stamina isnt' the same as it was when I was a young mom with my first 2.

Good luck with your decision! Ultimately, no one can answer this question for you, and you should just pray for guidance!

I have two boys, 8 and 4. I am always asked if I am going to try for a girl, and the answer is an emphatic "no". For me, I loved being pregnant, so that's not the issue. It was actually thinking about having three children and the additional work, energy, and money it would take. I jokingly say that I don't want my husband and me to be outnumbered! I have never regretted it. I do love buying gifts for my nieces, so I can indulge my girly side.

On the other hand, my brother-in-law and his wife have three beautiful girls, and they are wonderful together and get along great. It's really such a personal decision.

Come on if Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony can have twins at that age then you can give birth and carry a baby too!!!! If you have a tiny fire in your heart to have another baby in anyway then DO IT!!!! You will regret it later if you don't!!!! Just pray about it also if it's not meant to be then God will not bless you with another one. Just leave it up to God. I know a lot of times I also have struggles with trying to plan my own life but the best thing to do is just pray for guidance and answers and he will deliver them to you and your family!

I am the breadwinner and mom to 3 kids (7, 3 and 22 months) and we are considering a 4th. I had NO desire for children, but my kids get along SO well and they are asking for another sibling....so the discussion in on the table for us.

We had 2 boys, but we never cared about what sex they would be. In fact, I was half-thinking I only made boys. LOL. So when Ms. Thang showed up, I was shocked....and nervous. What do I do with a girl???? (We never find out the sex of the babies.)

Even though I never wanted kids, I can't imgaine my life without them. It's hectic and wonderful all at the same time. Our childless friends/neighbors think we are crazy, but we homeschool them as well as work. We've managed to work our schedules out some we are nearly always with the kids.

I never had a sister. My mom had me after 8 miscarriages, and then my brother and then my parents were done having kids. My brother married this woman and he I have barely have a relationship due to her and her manipulation. I wish I had more siblings, since I really feel like an only child these days.

NO REGRETS. None at all. Sometimes I need a break, but I wouldn't change a thing. (Sometimes I think 3 boys would have been great as well.)

Hi, i have a son and a daughter. 9 and 6. We were done. i at times thought having another one would be great. my husband thought, two is fine, a boy and a girl. At 39 i found out was pregnant!!! Surprise!!! That took care of any "mixed emotions" we had!! I gave birth to her right beofre i turned 40. I FEEL COMPLETE now. No regrets. My children are GREAT HELPERS!!! I feel like I have extra hands. It seems easier now then when I just had one.

Go with your heart. I will 38 and a have 3 girls myself. However with their age differences (21,16, 16 months)it's hard to say how yours might interact. Mine get along beautifully. I have to say in my situation my baby girl was a surprise (I also wished for a boy though). But I do not regret a moment of it. In fact after the initial shock I felt blessed to have another opportunity with a child. I was probably a lucky one in that fact that she was also my easiest. I had minimal morning sickness, shortest recovery period, at least amount of post partum issues. However since my first two were winter babies and she was a summer baby I did experience more swelling. Believe it or not my Doctor said that the reason for the ease was because I was probably more healthy now than I was when I was younger. All that said this is a personal choice that only you can make and I hope my story helps.

we decided to stop after 2 boys. Right after #2 was born, we considered a 3rd, but just knew 2 was enough. I love having 2 boys, even though I sometimes miss having a girl. It is a passing thought, not something I dwell on. I could list the reasons we stopped, but it mostly just came down to feeling done.

Oh my gosh.. you and I should talk. I too have 2 daughters. One is 7 and the other is 2. I have a desire to have a 3rd baby (I am 34) and am feeling the time crunch. We did conceive a 3rd child in October without really trying, but I miscarried. Now my husband is absolutely against having another child and I want one, now more than ever. He too if he had to have another one wants a boy.. I just want a healthy baby. and I guess I'm just wanting the option and dont want him to take my choices away. But we are all sleeping at night and starting all over scares me.. but I also don't want to look back full of regret. Honestly your 5 year old will play with your other two and when the 5 year old is old enough to just want to play with her school friends, your younger ones will have each other. Keep us posted on what you decide.

L., my advice is to follow what you feel in your heart. I had my 4th child when I was 38-1/2. It was a less comfortable pregnancy than the others, but it was only for 9 months. I also struggled with the reunion thing, but ended up going to my 20th high school reunion pregnant...and I wasn't the only one :) I wouldn't trade that fun weekend and reconnecting with old friends for anything, and I'm so glad I didn't let my vanity get in the way of that. I was also extrememly pregnant for my 10th and 15th anniversaries. We're hoping to make up for those on our 20th :) Good luck with whatever you decide.

People often try for a boy with varying degrees of success. Perhaps another point of view might help. I had a girlfriend in elementary school who had 3 older almost grown sisters, a younger sister and a younger brother. When she got older she was very disturbed to find out she'd had an older brother once, but he had died in some sort of accident as a teenager, and since her parents were still of child bearing age, they once again kept having babies till they had another boy. My girlfriend figured the only reason she existed was because someone else died, and then she (being a girl) wasn't good enough so they just kept on till the much wanted boy came along. It took her a long time getting over it. Was my girlfriends parents wrong? Well, they got what they wanted after overcoming a terrible loss. Was my girlfriends feelings wrong? Not exactly, but she was really hurt over it. Sounds like your husband is ok with whatever you decide and many people will tell you you will never regret having another child regardless whether it turns out to be a boy or girl. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I'm 45, I had my last child at 35. I had a boy and a girl so outside my wanting another girl, there wasn't a huge reason to have another child. Conversely, I think many of us replicate our family of origins, hence I guess the third child for me. I have been single now for five years, and was realistically single the whole time I was married in terms of raising the kids. For me, the third child has been a huge issue with the energy and time to really devote to three kids. I have been a SAHM because I found a way to earn a living while working from home but there is still not enough of me to go around for three kids despite the literally hours I spend talking to all three of them every day.

I would think less about the pregnancy and the reunion, big whoop on that one and the anniversary also isn't a big deal because with a 20 month old, you are still tied down for several years whether you have another one or not. One thing you might want to consider is the number of years start to finish you will be raising kids. If you count the extra couple of years with my stepson by the time I am done with 7 years from top to bottom with my kids, I will have been doing this for 30 years.

You do have a hands-on husband I assume. If he wants another child but the kids are totally your deal that would give me pause. The pregnancy is temporary and the little kid stuff while sometimes seeming interminable is temporary so to me, the logical decision might not be the one I would go with here. Go with your heart, I don't think you will regret having another child I think you might regret not doing it.

I have 3 sons. My oldest is 5, my middle son is 3 and our youngest is 8 months. When we found out our 2nd was to be another boy I admit my heart sank. At the time we believed this was to be our last child and we so badly wanted a daughter. But once the idea settled it was all ok. Our 3rd child came as a surprise to us, we were not planning for another child it was just something that happened. We didn't find out until birth what we were having. Again, for a split moment, it was a let down knowing that we hadn't gotten that daughter that we wanted. But now I wouldn't trade my boys' for anything. Seeing them interact with each other, hearing the laughter, seeing those smiles. It's all worth it. My older two dote on the baby and care for him like he was their own. They look out for him and play with him and never once did we experience the jealousy that everyone told us we'd see. We are at a different point in our life and family right now. I am struggling with wanting to have a 4th child. I still am chasing that elusive daughter that I have always wanted. But if I do have another child and it was another boy, I would be just as happy. Having children is a blessing, no matter how many, no matter what gender. You are given what your family is intended to receive. Good luck with your decision, I hope it all works out for you.

I have two girls and one boy. My last two are 15 months apart. I think that is really close in age. We wanted four children but stopped at three. I can't tell you what is best, but I can share some of my circumstances. I stayed home with my children and if you do have another child, particularly if it is a boy do not run every time the baby cries. I feel like I often pushed my middle child aside to attend to the baby. If the baby is feed and dry it doesn't hurt for them to cry a few minutes if it your time with one of your other children. I don't mean I really pushed my middle child aside, but I think I worried I shouldn't let the baby cry, and my middle daughter wanted attention at the exact time he needed to be fed often. It was a lot of work with three (they are all teenagers now), but I wouldn't give it up for anything. I was 29 with my first, 32 with my second and 34 with my third. So we started late. Actually my third pregnancy I felt the best with. My first I had morning sickness 6 months. The second felt sick but couldn't get sick (which was worse). My third I ate and drank what I wanted (no alcohol) and was digging holes for the landscaping. I felt better, recovered faster with it. The delivery was a little harder because I had not lost all my previous weight (but I gained less weight with my last), I did a natural delivery, and recovered fast.

I know this isn't exactly what you were asking, but I think you have to know in your heart whether you really want another one or not and be honest about it because you don't want to resent the baby.

Take care and God Bless you whatever decision you make. Oh, and boys are so different, I feel very blessed to have my boy, and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. I personally think boys are easier (less drama since the girl friends can be mean to one another), but I love them all the same. Boys get over fights with their friends faster, etc.
K.

I am the middle child of three children. My husband tells me he does not want three children because of the dreaded "middle child syndrome." :) I don't think this is a decision anyone can make for you. I loved growing up with two sisters, though. Yes, we have our times of being really close and then not so close, but there is something very special about having siblings. I always know that if I get into hard times, my sisters will be there for me! But, after growing up in a house like that, right now, we only have one little girl. We only want one more child, but for personal reasons. I hope you make the right decision for you!

I would recommend you take gratefully accept however many children God blesses you with. My husband had a vasectomy after our 2nd son was born. At the time, I felt like I would like to try for a girl but what if it turns out to be a 3rd boy? What then? I reluctantly signed the permission papers for his surgery. Five years later, my older son passed away suddenly from a virus that attacked his liver. In hindsight, I wish I had had 100 children. What I wouldn't give for a "do-over."

BTW, my first son was born when I was 34 and my second when I was 37. 38 is not that old! Pray about it and then follow your heart...

Good luck with whichever decision you make and God bless you!

M.

P.S. The "full-time working mom" part of the equation does make things more difficult, in my experience. Contact me if you'd like to hear about a better way!

I don't know that this is advice, but coming from a mother of 4 girls, I encourage you to go with what your heart is telling you. If you feel you will regret it later for not having another, then do it. I was/am also a full time working mom and we did not "plan" any of our girls, but I would not give them up for anything. I was young when I started having kids and I understand what you are saying about having a child at your age. I am also 38, but my baby is turning 14 next month. I personally could not start over now. We actually thought our last girl was going to be a boy, until she was born. Yeah, it was sort of disappointing at first, but of course all the joy took over and we would not have it any other way. I wish you the best in whatever you decide and remember that children are gifts from God :)

Hello,

I have three girls ages 9, 6 and 12 weeks. I, too, wanted to try for a boy. When my youngest was 3 I really wanted another baby. My husband wasn't crazy about the idea, but ultimately told me "whatever you want". I finally got to a point where I felt good about the size of our family and decided we were done. Well, God had different plans and last March, we found out we were pregnant. My oldest girls wanted a baby sister and didn't want a boy. While I thought it would be nice to have a boy, I really enjoy my girls and the thought of three was very exciting. My oldest girls love their baby sister. My 6 year-old is a "little mommy".
You mentioned your girls are 5 and 20 months. Your 5 year old will probably be the little mommy depending on her personality. Your 20 month old and the new baby will be 2 1/2 to 3 years apart, so they'll be great playmates. Even if you have a boy this will be the case. I just love girls, and couldn't imagine having a boy. Whether or not you decide to have another child, it will work out. I wish you the beat of luck!

I am the 3rd child of a family of 3 children. I have 2 older sisters and I was the last shot at a boy. I always felt like the 5th wheel growing up. It was the pair of my sisters, the pair of my parents, and me. I'm glad I was born obviously, but it isn't fun being the odd man out.

Funny thing is that I used to fantasize about having a twin when I was a child. Against all odds, I have been blessed with twin girls. I always wanted to have a boy, but I know that 2 children is enough. Now I cannot imagine having a little boy. Even though I always wanted a boy, having my 2 little girls is very fulfulling.

Well, we just had our third GIRL! My husband had a daughter from a previous marriage and we now have two together. I am 35 and am very glad we have our third child. We did hope for a boy, but are VERY happy with our 7 week old girl. I would say go for it if you feel up to it. 20 months is not too long in between to wait. The ages of our girls are 11, 7, and 7 weeks. If you wait that long to decide, you may want to reconsider. As far as the 3's a crowd, my girls love the baby. Their ages are spread out though. My 11 year old think she is the mom at times.

go with your heart....in all likely hood your age would not be a factor, it would be something to consider if your youngest was 10.......there will be more anniversaries & are reunions really that big a deal, not for me at least........i love having 3 little ones (5, 4, & 2) & one in college.....i do have 3 girls & 1 boy.........my 3 little one get along pretty well but there will always be "situations", but I would never say 3's a crowd, not when it comes to family..........i had my last at 35 & hated being pregnant but i just knew when i was absolutely done........my friend has 3 boys & she just had her last at 45.....if you are struggling with this decision that usually mean that you're not done yet.....best wishes

I have 3 boys 8, 6 and 17 months. I don't regret for minute that I three children. I believe the greatest gift you can give your children is a sibling. I can't relate to 3 girls but I know with 3 boys it is high engery at my house. I say if you have even the slight desire to try for a third and leave the rest in God's hands.

When in doubt, don't.

Hey moms in common I too am struggling with the same sort of issue.Me and my hubby have been married 7yrs and when I married him I had 3-girls and then together we had 2-kids(1-boy 5yrs and 1-girl 3yrs)b4 we got married we discussed having 3-kids. I feel like I kinda slighted on the deal..I don't want to cheat him out of the having want he wants. So,now here comes the issue I am knocking on 40's door later this month and now as you mention it is harder to conceive to which we are trying..And have been trying for 6mths and nothing...Now we are considering fertility drugs but we don't want the Octomom syndrome...And by the way the kids are fine and I think the only way we all get through is cause all total 5-kids are spread out in age from 3-24 yrs old.....Good Luck!!!!!!!

I am the oldest of three daughters. They were going to "keep trying" until they had a boy, but decided that three girls was enough!

I will say this... my sisters and I talk every day, despite a nine year span between me and the youngest. We have been eachothers biggest support and greatest critics, depending on what the situation called for. We never "paired off" with two against one, but certainly bickered and argued like any siblings would do. We fought continuously over clothing (which wouldn't have happened with a brother), but have shared maternity clothing which wouldn't have happened either!

If you are ambiguous about having a baby, then maybe you are past that point in your life. I'm 31 right now and know that our next one will be the last b/c I don't want to put my body through pregnancy, labor, delivery and recovery after a certain point. But if you are holding back b/c you are worried about the dynamics of having three girls, then go for it!

Well I don't really have an answer for you, but I am kind of going thru the same thing. i am 37 and have 2 girls 32 mos and 15 mos. I was totally done! My husband never pushed to have another or said that he cared about having a boy, but now I am 5 days late. I am going to take a pg test in the am. Now my hubby is thrilled I might be pg and I am having mixed feelings. I don't want to go thru the pg thing again, I have horrible pg's, and now I will have 2 little ones to deal with on top of it. I have no help at home, so that is another issue, and I do not want to start all over again with the newborn stage! I am finally getting SOME sleep now! But on the other hand I love my kids more than anything and it might be nice to have a 3rd. My husband and I are both middle children. I do wish I was younger, but on the other hand I lived it up in my 20's and have no regrets. I might actually be a little sad if it comes back negative. I guess whatever it is it is. I know I really didn't give you an answer but sometimes it helps to know that you are not alone in your struggle. Good luck!

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My husband and I each had a daughter from our previous spouses, together we have a son and a daughter making 3 girls (15yrs,11yrs,and 5yrs) and an almost 7yr old boy. There are times that they all get along and other times they are all screaming and fighting. The two older ones get along alot better than they used to, they have mostly gotten over jealousies and have matured in how they relate to each other. Of course it is easy for our son to get on all of his sisters' nerves, he is active and rambuctious. The two youngest play together the most, they play cars, dolls, and with stuffed animals. I don't have any regrets, and at 36 am even longing for another baby (even with the craziness of raising these four). Maybe the best reason I can think of is this: I was reading letters that my grandfather had written to my grandmother while he was in WWII. They had a daughter and a son at the time. In one of the letters he was telling her it was ok if she didn't want to have any more kids. Well my dad was their third child and if it weren't for that I wouldn't be here and neither would my beautiful kids.

In today's world, two is ample.

I was listening to the Diane Rehm show about "World Population" and America's the most over populated country based on the resources we consume. We have 6.8 billion people in the world, we're losing the biodiversity in the planet, running out of water and other critical resources. Environmental sustainability depends on how many people there are, how quickly the population is growing etc. The panelist also said that ethically we should not have more than 2 children since its going to affect every body else.

A wonderful alternative is available... have you considered adoption?

I have 4 Beautiful Bouncing Boys...Ages 9yrs, 4yrs, 3yrs, and 8 months. Honestly I had one of them planned. I too had wanted a girl. I think that's the what if factor...You know what would it be like to have what I don't have. Yes I have been dissapointed for not having a daughter but the dissapointment quickly wears off. Understand I am a girly girl...so those who know me think it's funny how I have this house hold of boys. I guess the biggest thing I have learned is that Life shifts when your married and have a family. It's not all about my wants and desires. I enjoy the moments that our lives are weaved together. I love seeing the diffrences in my chlldren and watching them grow and the major influence we have being their parents. I work at bonding them together as brothers and friends! I absolutly love being a Mom. However it is the Hardest most challenging but most rewarding experience I have ever had. Is Your Husband 100% in? Make a pro and con list. Are you physically up to the pregnancy and parenting of an infant? Do you have the time for an additional child? How will this influence your girls lives? Are you financially secure to provide for your family? I would ask for God's wisdom in descisions for your family. Hope this helps!

I'm one of 5 girls! My older two are only 1 and 3 years older and one of my younger is 7 years younger and the other 10 years younger than I. Four of us are best friends! I don't know what I'd do without my sisters. So don't worry about 3 being a crowd. On the other hand you do have some other things to consider. Why don't you just let fate decide and if you have a baby w/in the next year great and if you don't it just wasn't meant to be. Don't be disappointed though when/if another baby girl comes out!

I did struggle too, but am comming to the conclusion that I'm fine with my two boys. They're healty (had the last one at 39) and now that I'm 41 I'm worried my eggs are too old, my back is too sore, the pregnancy and recovery were too hard/long and I'll be too disctracted with herding them to actually enjoy them. And they're expensive. And I think it would be harder to get away as a couple, which is important to us. If I were younger, though, I'd try for a third but at my age I think we're good to go. Given you're still young (enough) maybe just don't use protection and see what happends. And don't worry about the reunion/anniversary. I have heard, though, that if you have two of the one gender, you're more likely to have a third of the same gender. Could be an old wives tale, though. Not and easy decision, and I'm still not 100% confident that my husband should get snipped, but whenever we ever have unprotected sex during to potentially fertile time, I'm off to the drug store for Plan B. I guess we're done! :-)

There is never as such thing as too many of the same gender. I have two boys and one girl... the girl being the middle child. The two boys do not get along and my girl struggles to find her place in a house full of boys. You can not determine how they will get along, who plays with who, and so on. Some siblings click and some do not.
I do know about regret. Although we had 3 children, I had my tubes tied 3 years ago (I am 32). I do regret not having anymore children, however there were medical reasons for my decision to not have anymore. If you want more children, it is better to have them now than to regret it later.
Good luck!

I have 3 kids 1 boy & 2 girls.I thought I would only have 1 child then I wanted a girl I became pregnant after I made my decision to have another.And yes a GIRL I thought for sure this was going to be it no more kids then when my youngest was 18 months old I became pregnant.I had mixed emotions @ this time my husband had lost his job his health insurance so we had none.We had no income coming in before this & that was hard.Then my pregnancy went fine as time went on I was hoping for a girl & yes another one.NOw that i'am going on 30 in March that's it no more.Age to me is a huge factor If I were to have any kids they would have to be before I was 30 anything after it just scares me all the complications after age 34.But there is alot of mom's who do it & have healthy babies,pregnancies & outcomes.