I've been separated almost a year and soon to be divorced. I've been catching the eye of men and doing a little observing on the sly myself. Hmmmmmm. I feel like I'm ready to at least go out on a date if and when propositioned, and sometimes I feel like making the first move. What am I to do? I don't know about dating just yet and I thought to wait until things are final but with court delays, etc...who knows when that's going to be. I am not looking to fall in love or get engaged, I just feel like I'm ready for a date with a gentleman but part of me feel like I should wait until I'm divorced. My therapist left the decision totally up to me (gee, thanks LOL) For once this is about me not a child, soon to be ex, just my feelings and wanting to know should I wait or go for it even if it means I make the first move?
I am no doubt going to ALWAYS put my daughter first, especially in safety. For as long as I've dated, I usually take at least 6 months or more before I invite someone to my home. I will not introduce anyone to my daughter unless we're in an exclusive relationship. I actually turned down an offer. This guy has 2 kids, and custody of one, but his mother takes care of her. Irresponsible. I can already tell it's going to be a slow process.
Oh F.-
I hate to be the 'nay sayer' here...but FOR ME...I needed the final decree before I began even 'looking' at dating...
I was married for over 18 years...boatloads of kids...and I filed...and it took 2.5 YEARS for the final...
I needed EVERY month of that to work thru all my 'stuff'...even for a 'fun' date...
Maybe it is me...:(
michele/cat
Honestly, I would wait. You will feel much better about dating if you do. And you wont have to tell the poor guy you are sitting across from "well, technically I'm still married". That's a BUZZkill Chickie.
Please WAIT.
Your relationship is over, and has been for a year. If there is absolutely NO chance of you getting back together, I don't see a problem with casual dating. Just make sure that you are up-front about the fact that you are in the process of getting a divorce.
Sorry, I say NO. You are a married woman.
Go for it! You may still be technically married, but you are in the process of divorce. I looked at your past questions, and you even had a restraining order against your ex? Don't let him stop you from living your life! Who cares if the state still considers you married if you are not living with, talking to, or otherwise having any kind of contact with your 'husband'. It's temporary anyway at this point. Take it slow, and keep it casual. Have fun!
Although, my biggest thing would be to make sure you are still prioritizing your kids... Also, be honest with any guy you DO date about your priorities and the fact that you are still legally married. Just make it clear that you have been out of the relationship long-term, and that you are in the process of divorcing.
Go out and have a good time!! I'm sure your soon to be ex husband isn't sitting around comtemplating whether or not he should go out and have a good time!! Don't dive into anything head first. Stick your big toe in and test the water first. Lol. Have a good time.
Divorce is so draining and awful, the one upside is that you get to start fresh and meet lots of hot guys! I say, get out there and have fun! :-)
Go for it!
Of course, I set out to "casually date" and wound up married 8 months later. ;-)
I don't know much about law on this aspect, so my worry would be that your ex gets mad and slow the process of the divorce or just give you a hard time, is that possible?
If you are already pass that point then go for, get to know new people, or get to know better one that you already know.
I would take it slow for your kids, one year is long enough for you to date, but may not long enough for your kids.
State of Cali it takes 6 months and a day for the final on a divorce...and thats if there are no complications. I went out while waiting for my divorce. Mentally I was over it and I just didn't want to always stay in the house. If you're through all the emotional junk why not go for it? All you're basically doing is sitting around waiting for the final "YES YOUR DIVORCED" from the state...whats a dinner or something gonna hurt?
Like you said you're not looking for love, you're just looking to go out and enjoy a guys company.
Good Luck!
Exactly what Red said.
I dont see why not. As long as YOU are ready for it, there isnt anyone who should tell you no. Go for it girl!
Go for it. As long as you keep it casual and dont rush into another realtionship, there's probably no harm. I started dating soon after I filed for divorce, but got so annoyed I decided to remain happily single for the time being.
So much for the $$$ you dropped on your Bev Hills therapist! For free and in caring I say start with doing some couples things, brunch, lunch, dinner, (when summer finally arrives) picnics.
I think its OK to make the first move because some people don't have a clue. ...just move slowly...and move wisely...and have some back up.
Blessigs...
have you filed for divorce? as long as you have already filed you are divorced in my opinion... the rest is just paperwork and hashing out the details...
That said until you have filed... I would not be dating.
As far as when you are "ready" that is totally up to you! When you feel ready... go and have a good time!
-M.
I wouldn't only because I think that being married means something. Until it is all finalized I don't believe you are single and available.
You don't need divorce papers for permission to date. In my mind, your divorce is already final! Start dating now - who cares when your divorce is legally official! As far as making the first move - go fot it. However, if you want to be "courted," then wait for the man to make the first move. Have fun!
Go for it and be upfront with the person you decide to go out with and it is 2011 you don't have to wait for someone to ask you out you can ask someone out if you are interested as long as you are prepared that there may be a chance they turn you down.
Sure, make the first move. Why should it all be up to the guys?
