Sisterly Issues...

The FIRST THING I would do is contact Tom at myspace and let him know her age. Her account will be deleted so as to avoid any further pic postings. The required age is 18 for an account. Show her who is boss and DO NOT LET UP.

I feel for you, my baby sister did some bad things when she was 18. She was a senior in Highschool, and ran off to vegas and got married, got pregnant, went to prision, while pregnant. Had criminal charges for a list of things, all because of a guy. She got back with him, started doing drugs, and ended up in Re-hab, while leaving my mother with a 10 month old baby to take care of, while she was in Re-hab. She is now 28, and on track, but it took a lot of her making life altering mistakes to grow up. Sometimes you can reach them, but sadly most of the time, they have to make their own mistakes, before they get it.

Don't give up. She is lucky to have a sister like you who is willing to help her! Try to keep her busy with planned activities and if possible limit her time with this friend who may be a bad influence. I would not say "you can't be with this friend" but just try to plan things that do not include this friend. If she is into sports get her on a YMCA team or something where she can meet new people in a positive environment.

If your parents are paying the bills for her then they make the rules. Always let her know that you love her but then use tough love. Make rules and reward her when she does well but give her consequences when she doesn't. Kids want boundaries even if they say they don't. If My Space is a problem cancel the computer. If counseling is needed there are lots of churches that offer free counseling without "preaching". Good Luck!

Don't know what to tell you about your lil sis! You can't help someone unless they are willing to help themselves really.

As for being a new mom! i'm a first time one too! 23 and i have a 11 mth old boy! Takes a lot of patience! my husband and i dont get too much time to spend with each other, we have financial issues but make the best of it! one thing i know and can pass on! NEVER EVER EVER be afraid of telling someone you need help with the baby! even if it is just for an hour so you can SLEEP! God only gives you what you can handle so anyone that says it is super easy and you'll be fine you dont need help had a different take on their handfuls and God knew they can do it! so hang in there when the times are the hardest! you're not alone! :)

Hello,

well, it sounds like you may need more professional advice than can be offered here. Also, I noted the detailed "a little about me" section and I wanted to comment on that. I know that people will give you grief about the choices you have made. I know, and you probably also know, that having a child at 19 is much too young. A child deserves to have the basics needs met by both parents and if you can provide this for your child then you are taking a good first step. Life is not over just because you having a child at such a young age but it will be more difficult. It will take hard work, determination, and most of all motivation to get your life to a place that YOU will feel comfortable with. From what I gathered from your "A little about me" section, you are on the defensive about your current situation. This is obvious because of the amount of detail you put in and the statements defending yourself prior to anyone's response. So, my advice to you, focus on bettering your life, then you can help your sister. You can help by being a good role model.

MAN! I feel you! My 16 year old sister in law is living with us now because her parents can't "handle" her. She really isn't THAT bad, but she is going in the wrong direction. But who am I to talk? I was PREGNANT when I was her age! I am 22 now and pregnant with my 4th! Yes, I am married, yes they all have the same father. blah, blah. I am curious to see others answers on this issue because I am struggling. I did go to planned parenthood and got ALOT of lititure and went over everything with her. We had the sex talk and how to protect yourself, ect. We have a good relationship and I hope her staying here with us will help her. Who knows. I wish you and your sister the best!

The required age for MYSPACE is NOT 18, it is 14. That is not the problem. If it wasn't MYSPACE, it would be something else. Some teens do things, stupid things...really stupid things. I don't have any great advice to give you, C., other than hang in there. Be there for her when she needs to talk, that is the most valuable thing. If she has someone to confide in and to listen to her, she won't be as inclined to allow boys to fill that need. Bottom line, though, is she is going to do what she is going to do, and as heart breaking as it is to see, you have no control over it. Be there for your parents, and have unconditional love for your sister, and know it will get better, one way or another.

On another note, regarding the previous posting about your relationship status, bringing a baby into the world at 19, etc...that is a bunch of garbage. My husband and I had our first child at 17, our second at 19...and by no way am I going to say it has been easy (or a good idea!)...BUT - we have been married happily for 14 years, and have the most wonderful children who are well adjusted, smart, self-thinking young people and we have done that. You can too. There will always be a ney-sayer in every bunch, and if it was something you were PLANNING on doing in the future, I would advise against it too...but you, like your sister, do what you do. Don't take anyone's advice (even mine!) too seriously, and always with a grain of salt. Good luck to you from the bottom of my heart, I wish you well.

C.,
It sounds as if you have tried about everything. Everyone has to make mistakes for themselves. I did everything I was told not to do as well. I wanted to let you know that as far as the myspace account and picture posting, I am pretty sure there is not age requirement, but you can have her set her profile to "private" which means only those who are her "friends" can view her pictures.

I would suggest you keep trying, keep telling her your regrets, perhaps a third party could talk to her too. Maybe if she hears the same type stories from more than you and your parents (whom she obviously "knows better than") she would start to understand that you all only want what is best for her. I think the Christian school environment will be a better place for her. If nothing else it may keep her distractions further away.

Just hang in there. Pray for her daily, and love her always.

Congrats on the soon to be born baby boy!