Anyone have a clever idea on encouraging (okay forcing) my three boys to be nicer to each other?? I know part of it is this time of year and being cooped up inside as they are all outdoor kids but they seem to be fighting non stop - they all spend time with friends here or at other's homes too but when they are all together it can get down right mean. When it is two of them, and any combo of two, it is fine but throw the third in and there is always a fight. I am sick of it. Any clever ideas that have worked for you? Someone suggsted making them hold hands but I know that won't work. Ages are 13, 11 and 7. Any ideas are appreciated. Thanks!
I have two good book recommendations... Siblings Without Rivalry and a book I had never heard of prior to someone on this site recommending... The Secret of Parenting by Anthony E Wolf PhD. Brilliant.
And then you could also do the "get along shirt." Also brilliant.
My daughter went further than holding hands - she tied them together. They HAD to learn to work together. At first, they tried to fight it but realized early on that since they were tied together, fighting was not getting them anywhere. They really did learn to cooperate and work together. They also learned a little patience and compassion for each other.
S., I live close to you. The weather is okay enough for the kids to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!
They can't behave? Go ride your bike! They fight? Go shoot some baskets! They are being sassy? Send them to the park!
I know it's really cold....but my two boys (7 and 10) are outside now playing at the park playing with their friends because if they don't....they fight.
It is supposed to be cold (30's , for those of you not from this area), but sunny these next couple of days. Get those boys outside! :)
L.
Here was one mom's solution....
http://imgace.com/pic/2012/12/our-get-along-shirt/
Do they have separate rooms? If not three separated time-out spots. The instant you hear a fight they all got into time-out. No ifs, ands or buts, all of them. They are all old enough to be able to to behave with each other. They have been warned time and time again. Don't put up with it, save your voice.
To preempt the fighting, get them outside! Bundle them up and send them out. If they don't have proper gear for the weather, go buy it. I only have 1 and I suit her up every now and then and send her to the backyard just to get her out of my hair.
Good luck.
I'm reading a book called Siblings Without Rivalry. You might check it out. I haven't finished it but I like what I've read so far.
We my siblings and I fought when we were young we had to hold hands and look at each other and say 3 nice things we liked about the other person.
Cheryl B I used to do the same thing, but when I mentioned that once I got reamed so I have never mentioned it again. It does work though, at least for a little while. If nothing they were off to find what things they couldn't do tied together.
Could you think of activities where they have to work together? 3 is a hard number because 1 of then is always left out... Maybe you should have another one, lol. Really, I tried to think of some things that they could work on together:
Making pizzas for dinner from a recipe
Having a scavenger hunt
Building something like a birdhouse
painting a room in the house
Building a boxcar for a soapbox derby, the big kind they could ride in down a hill
Anything that would get them working as a team to get something done
