I was recently invited to a surprise 40th birthday party for an old acquaintance. I was shocked to get the invitation from his wife as I didn't know him that well (or her at all)...I worked at a country store he frequented 15 plus years ago and we had many mutual friends and acquaintances. I was not part of the hang out crowd because of working and taking care of my son (and was married to a very jealous man it was hard to hang out even with him). His best friend from back then (who I knew a bit better) helped with the invites and told the wife to invite me. I haven't seen either in years (although the best friend found me on FB recently and we've chatted). I know that I will know a lot of people there (some I know better than others) but since the party is for the one I barely know I was initially planning to not attend.
However, the best friend (who lives across the country) indicated to invite me and wants to get up with us while he's in town, I am now reconsidering the invitation. Let me also add that this was an invitation extended to me and my family (hubby (not the jealous one) and my kids).
Would it be weird to attend? Should I go? If I should go, I have no idea what to get for a 40 yr old man that I barely know (and when I did it was the 18-19 year old rebel).
**added** I do not feel that anyone is trying to set me up. That is why I added the part about my family being invited so none of you would think that was the intent. I just thought it was odd to invite me (until I heard the bf suggested it). I guess not being one of their "groupies" made me more a friend then those that hung out with and drooled.
I did not go (yet). The party is 9/16 so I still have time to change my mind either way. Still leaning towards not attending but I have since discovered that the wife of the guest of honor is the music teacher at the school which my daughter attended pre-k last year (I think). **Added** I stuck w/ not going. My friend came to town, we connected. He stopped by Saturday afternoon and chatted w/ me, hubby, and my daughter. My son who is almost 21 was 3 the last time we saw this friend (we gave him a ride when he moved away) but wasn't able to be there because he's away at college. It was nice to catch up. Found out the wife of the guest of honor was my daughter's music teacher last year (such a small world).
Why not? Sounds like fun. If you want to go, then you should go.
I would buy him a funny card about how old he is and put some lottery or scratch off tickets in it.
I would probably not attend a party for someone that I had not seen in many years and have had no contact with in as many. While you would know a lot of people there, it may seem a little strange to the guest of honor to see someone with little or no connection to him at the party.
Your initial reaction to this is probably correct. If his friend wants to see you and your family while he is in town, invite him over for a cup of coffee on his way in or out of town.
FB is wierd because you feel like you "know people", but you really don't. Just because you literally know what a person does on a daily basis doesn't mean that you want to hang out with him or her for an entire evening. The odds are pretty good that you won't see these folks again, so I would invite your FB friend for a cup of coffee and ask him to send along your birthday wishes.
why not just get together for ice cream with the best friend? you don't sound very comfy with the birthday party thing.
khairete
S.
Sounds like they are trying to have a "blow out" for this guy's 40th birthday and are literally inviting anyone he was ever friendly with; they are probably looking to have people from each "stage" of his life. I think you should go and enjoy catching up with old friends. I really do think you will be 1 in a crowd so it won't be awkward. Take your family or at least hubby. Your intentions will be clear and you will have a fall back person to talk to. As for a gift, you can 1. ask what he would like 2. take a nice bottle of wine or other spirit (even if he doesn't drink, they can crack it open @ the party and someone will drink it) 3. make a donation to a charity in his name or 4. buy something very standard (picture frame, nice key chain, pocket knife, etc.). A nice picture frame is always fitting. Maybe get it engraved with "Happy 40th!" or something similar. Offer to take a group photo @ the party and email it to him or his wife so they can put it in the frame. Have fun!
I would go but just with my hubby, no kids even though invitation was extended. I would buy like someone else said a gift card to restaurant, or to the local movie theatre in town. Have fun!
I don't know what you should do. But for me I will go to a party for two reasons. #1 I know the person the party is being thrown for really well and I know it will mean a lot to them if I attended. and/or #2 I go because I feel I'll have a good time and I will know a small to good amount of people to converse with. That is just how I personally feel.
You seem uncomfrotable and feeling odd about the invite. For that reason I would not go.
It also seems that perhaps you feel like its slightly flirting or that someone wants to set you up??? That is where I thought you were going while reading this.
If you do go I would gift the movie reble with out a cause! Or something that he liked when he was that young rebel you knew back when....for a flash back memory/moment.
I agree with the few people that going to the party with the entire family, for a person you've not met for so long is definitely weird. Maybe your friends intention while inviting you was purely friendly, an opportunity to meet up and catch up. And maybe you don't feel comfortable telling him your reason for not wanting to go to the party. No need to get into awkwardness. :)
Give him some excuse why you (and family) wouldn't be able to make it to the party, but that you'd surely like to catch up. Invite him for a coffee/ice-cream with family, so you all meet!
Quite simple, if you want to go, then go, and if you don't really want to, then don't...even if you feel like you should. If you go, take your husband along. If you go and aren't having a good time or are uncomfortable, then leave early. You can politely excuse yourself by saying that you only have your babysitter for a short period, but that you have really enjoyed this "adult" time that you spent catching up with old friends. If you wish to give a gift, then you can ask the bf what the birthday boy's interests are, or you can go with something generic.....a gift card to iTunes or amazon, or even a local restaurant. Nothing extravagant is necessary, $20-$30 ish would be more than fine. Have fun if you go, and have fun if you don't! :-)
I don't think its weird. They just found you on FB and probably thinks its like a class reunion and think it would be fun to get everyone back together again after so many years.
So I would consider going with hubs (and kids if they are included). Give him a $25 gift card to a restaraunt that he can go to. No big deal. Good luck!
