When you decline a birthday party invitaiton, are you expected to still give the child a gift? I have in the past, because it has been close family friends who would have gotten a small gift from us even if they didn't have a party. Now we are in elementary school. The number of party invitations is overwhelming. We can't go to all the parties. So is it ettiquette to give a gift to children of parties we can't attend?
No it is not necessary to give a gift. However, it is nice to give a small gift or even just a card.
Please RSVP to let them know that you will NOT be attending.
You can say no thank you and leave it at that. My husband however thinks you have to go and spend fifty dollars or something because you aren't going and he thinks he will be very missed!! oh, we're talking about elementary school. Well, either way, you do not have to give a gift unless you seriously think you want to or are really rich and just feel like shopping. The end.
No! I only ever do that for family or VERY close friends.
No not at all, only if it's a really, really, super close friend or family member.
Not really. One of my GD's friends did that, but that was a first. Usually, if you don't go, you just don't go and that's the end of it. It really depends on how good of friends the child and your daughter are.
It is up to you....the etiquette:
Thanks so much for the invitation, we will be unable to attend. Please give our best to .........Have a wonderful party.
Kindest regards.......(or how you extend your courtesy and the end of a note)
You have NO obligation to say WHY you will not be able to attend.
No.
I only give a gift if we cannot attend if it is a GOOD close friend.
Only give a gift to close friend's children or family when you cannot attend.
Only if if you choose to, as i usually do with a family member or close friend's child...and if it WAS etiquette to decline, but still send a gift, parents would be sending invitations to EVERYONE : )
I'll be reading to see what everyone else says! It never occurred to me to get a gift when we couldn't attend, but my daughter just had a party and 2 kids - both are pretty good friends of hers - brought her gifts even though they couldn't come. Another boy got sick and couldn't come and then brought her gift to school. I thought that was so sweet - from now on, I think I will get a gift even if we can't attend.
If it's closer friends, yes, if not, no...
No. I would only buy for close friends and family. :)
just rsvp and say sorry she won't be able to come. You are not required to give a gift or a reason. Just that your sorry can't make it.
Like you, if we don't attend and it is a CLOSE buddy, we give a gift--maybe the next time we see the child, maybe send to the party with someone else. Acquaintances? We rsvp "no" and call it done.
Nope, you say say "sorry we can't make it".
We don't. We just make sure to RSVP right away and let them know we won't be attending. My son goes to a Montessori kindergarten and the protocol is pretty much all the kids are invited to all the parties. We attend as long as we are in town and don't have a conflict. We did get a gift for DS's best friend.
I say no gift unless its a close friend.
You are not required to give a gift if you do not attend the birthday party.
That doesn't mean you are not allowed to give a gift, but it gets a little awkward if that means everyone else expects you to give their child a gift, too.
Your essential courtesy is to decline politely as soon as possible. "Thank you for inviting Kevin to Susan's party. He isn't going to be able to attend, but we certainly hope the party will be lots of fun."
It would not be essential, but it might certainly be nice, if Kevin sent Susie a birthday card through the mail (or the e-mail) if he wants to.
