Share Your Ideas of Family Gatherings & Traditions

Who cares whose house they are at. Even if it's all you, do it! Traditions of ANY kind are great for families (unless it's like slaughtering baby goats or something).

You should plan a progressive dinner night. each person is responsible for a portion of the meal and maybe a small activity.
so, apps at one house with a goofy questionnaire or a mad libs. Then salad at another house with answers shared and a game of (g rated) truth or dare then main course, followed by dessert/coffee and final games, etc.
A progressive shares the responsibility, but no sole person has to do it all. Kids can come and the activities can be as involved or as simple as the person wants to host.
Might be a good idea to help them with the activity ideas, too.

Bless you for working so hard at this. It usually falls on the shoulders of one woman in the family. The others either don't feel their homes are clean or nice enough for company, or they're just wrapped up in other responsibilities or they may be depressed/overwhelmed or whatever. I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to. If you want to, you could assign something specific for them to bring and that might work but I doubt they'll open their homes, at least not often. Maybe with lots of notice. You could change this to quarterly. Monthly sounds like a lot for most families but it might be OK for yours.

In my family and my in-laws family, the gatherings are at the family matriarchs house. She is the one that is the glue that holds everyone together. She is the one people turn to in times of trouble and the one that people never forget to bring flowers for her birthday and mothers day. It's never a question of where are we going to get together. Mamas kitchen is always open. Now that we are all older we bring most of the food and help set up, clean up and prepare the food. Mama supervises. My mother passed 3 years ago and I was given that role by default. If you are that glue, than be proud. You are doing what you can to keep the family close and give the kids a childhood they can look back on fondly. The rewards are great. It's a lot of work being the open house. Cleaning before hand is my biggest annoyance. Just be sure you delegate duties and assign dishes. Noone should come empty handed and everyone should help with the work.

I just wanted to throw a different perspective out there for you...perhaps the location can be part of the tradition. To this day my Aunt Bard pretty much hosts all holidays, special events, cookouts, etc. at her house. I have great memories of gathering at her house whatever the reason. Half the battle is already won, they are willing to attend! That in itself is a huge blessing. Perhaps since you and your cousin are both willing to host, the location can become part of it?

Our large family gets together on a weekend during the winter at a hotel! Those who can, rent rooms, others just come for the day. The kids can swim, we all bring dishes to pass and relax in the hotel.

How about saying something like "for our next get-together, let's meet at a park, unless someone else would like to volunteer to host?" This way the pressure is off you. Everyone can bring something, you can play football, and maybe they will get the hint that the two of you don't always want to host. (Hopefully this will happen sooner than later because it is going to get pretty cold for parks where you live!)

It's harder for some people to entertain than it is for others... whether it is because of the size of their house, they are too busy to prepare, or they just don't want to deal with the hassle. If you try to push using their homes too much, it won't be as enjoyable of an experience because because the "host" feels obligated. I would just keep it at the places readily available... or a public place. My favorite family "event" is the 4th of july... It's bigger than christmas at my house! My dad lives on an 800 acre ranch, so he has a ton of space (but a tiny house. lol) EVERYONE and their dog attends (literally.) Not just family though, neighbors, friends, everyone. It's just a giant pot luck (BYOB). My dad will set up tables, put out paper plates and plasticware, make a bonfire in the pit, and set up the fireworks tubes. Giant informal barbecue atmosphere. If someone wants music, they will play it out of the car radio. After everyone has had a chance to eat, we start setting off the "kiddie" fireworks. Then when it starts getting dark the REAL fireworks start! My dad supplies enough for a good 30-minute show, and anyone who wants can bring more to add to the fun. We usually have about 1-3 hours of it. (even the townspeople drive to our fireworks show instead of the cities. lol) Anyone who wants to can pitch a tent and stay the night, so there are no worries about drunk drivers. (of course, no one really drinks to the "drunk" point... just a social atmosphere... My dad is the designated fireworks person, so we keep that safe too...)

Honestly, maybe meeting at a neutral location would be best. It's kind of unreasonable to expect people to open their homes to facilitate YOUR expectations if they do not share them. I'm not trying to be rude, but you can't manage everyone else. You can only manage yourself. It does sound like a great tradition though and I wish on your behalf that the other moms were as in to it as you are. Since they're not, try meeting at the local legion hall or something like that.

This will work better for some families than others. That level of togetherness with a lot of my family would just not work out. For one thing, myself, my sister and my mother all live in different states (10 - 12 hr drives away from each other). It's a miracle we manage to get Christmas cards out to each other and that doesn't even happen every year.
I saw my sister and her daughter by accident this last summer (we both visited my Mom at the same time and our times overlapped by 2 days).
I hadn't seen her in 7 years. My sister is nuttier than a fruit cake and 1 day spent mostly together was almost more than my teeth could stand (grinding them together in the effort it took to keep my mouth shut). If ever see her again, it will be too soon. Her daughter is an ill mannered spoiled brat. Even our Mom can't take her for too long at one time.
The nearest family we have is at least a 2 hr drive away, (my husbands cousins) who's kids are all in different stages than ours and we don't have much in common.
If you enjoy the get together s, then be glad everyone enjoys coming to your home. You have become the family get-together coordinator. There's no question it takes work and effort, and a lot of people are just not willing to do it. It's understandable if you feel like you don't want to do it all the time when no one else wants to reciprocate, but I wouldn't be expecting someone else will take up the torch should you decide to lay it down.
Thanksgiving (fall), Christmas (winter break), Easter (spring break), and 4th of July) (summer) are the big get together occasions most families can manage.

Some people don't feel like they can plan or host such events.....so I would leave it at that.....

As for activities.......I would suggest cards, board games, kick ball, softball, corn hole.....all those activities are fun and those who can't stand long or throw can play cards........

If there are a lot of kids, have a treasure hunt.....looking for small cheap things.....and make it a pitch in....

Good Luck and it's a great idea.....I try to get our family to the park at least a couple of times a summer for everyone to talk, and just have fun.....

Could you meet at a restaraunt in the area. Or maybe a park. Then everyone would have to help a bit or at least pay for their part of the check.

what you are doing sounds wonderful!

our family enjoys doing seasonal things together......
leaf raking, pumpkin carving, walks in the woods collecting leaves, apple orchard, having bonfires w/ smores, sledding, making cinamon ornaments, making holiday cookies, making gingerbread houses, etc....