Seperation Anxiety? - Dunlap,IL

Hey, most likely this is a form of your child saying that he prefers you to daycare. I am a mom of a 1 year old and up until a few months ago I worked at daycare. If you don't have the option to stay home with your son, I reccomend giving him a week or maybe even 2 where you don't stop by at all during the day. I know that you love to see him during the day, but it is obviously very hard on him, and he's trying to manipulate you in a way by not eating, or...he has yet to bond with his new caregivers over food. When he is hungry, he will eat, and as frustrating as it may be the caregivers need to bond with him that way. I would talk with them about this before you do it and ask if they are ok with it. Make sure you trust them 100% to give your son the extra attention he needs to adapt to being in group care. Hopefully he will bond with them and begin eating for them--he's not the first child to struggle with daycare. Let me know what you decide to do.

Please don't take this the wrong way but I think u are babying him too much to the point where he basically wants nothing to do with anyone else. My son used to be like that too until I stopped picking him up all the time and basically babying him. They will never learn how to do things themselves if you are always doing what they want.

Hard as it might be, you need to back away and let him work thru it. He knows that you are coming everytime he demands. Staying away doesn't mean you are being a bad mother, it just means you are allowing you child to grow and become independent. He will eat when he is hungry enough, if he learns you are coming, he should finally start eating.

I believe you have an incredibly smart child who knows how to express his disdain for daycare! I believe he is doing this on purpose to gain attention from you. Perhaps you should leave him at daycare for a few more weeks giving him time to adjust.

On the other hand, something may be wrong with that daycare center. When my son first attended daycare, he, like the average first time day care child, cried for two weeks frantically. He adjusted but was always eager and happy to see me when I came to pick him up. When he switched teachers at 6 months, he did the same thing. Except this time he was truly unhappy. Although he stopped crying, he hated daycare and always whined and watched me carefully to grab me before I left. I thought my son was having difficulty adjusting to new teachers so I tried to keep him home as much as possible. After 4 months, we moved and went to a different daycare center. He did the crying bit for two weeks (remember, thsi is normal) but afterwards, he loved going. He would run to the teacher, give her a hug, smile and laugh.

I realize now, that the orginal daycare he was at, the teachers in the new classroom must have been horrible. I noticed small things, little things that added up, that I didn't like. But I always excused it with the thought that of course they were busy and their work stressful. After all, no daycare is perfect and the best place for any child is their mom's arms. But now, I realize how foolish I was to keep silent and let all those little things slide. After talking to other moms who used to attend there, I realized the center had a bad reputation. I feel like the worst parent ever to send my son to such a horrible place. But now, I love my child's new day care and so does he.

So, not to make you worry, you might want to check out your daycare. You can request to look at their files (random visits and annual reports) at the local government office (I forgot the department name). When you stop by, take note of how the teachers treat babies and such. When it's time for parents to come, do they clean instead of hold babies and comfort them? Do they let noses run and drool to amount?

I'm sure this makes you feel like a horrible mother, but relax. A child is not able to "starve himeself". It might be hard for a bit....mostly on you, but eventually when he is hungry enough he will let them feed him. His survival skills will kick in and he will realize he needs to eat.

Why does he cry once you have come back to get him. He's probably just then realized you have been gone, and this is the only way babies can express their anger, worry, and such. I've seen it many of times. WHen I was in college, I worked in a very good center, and my mom had a in home daycare for 12 years while I was growing up.

Relax. If you are doing the best you can, that is a reason to hold your head up and smile. Your child will reflect your anxiety if he senses it. He will eventually get comfortable with the new sitter, it will just take time. And don't worry, he won't remember any of this, so it's not like you are traumatizing him for life. As long as he's in a center where you know he's being taken care of, then you have nothering to worry about. Everything will work out.