Seeking Moms - Sunland,CA

I would say trust your instincts. If it feels out of control to you, then you need to do something about it for your own peace of mind. A parenting class is always a good idea. There are also a number of good books you can take a look at. One that comes to mind is Siblings Without Rivalry (Faber/Mazlish). Since both you and your boyfriend work full time, have you spoken with whoever takes care of the children during the day about their behavior? Is it worse or better when you're not around? I'm also curious why your relationship with your son's father has been hard on your daughter? If that's true, then she could be acting out based on some emotional hurt/struggle she's having.

It sounds like there could be a number of things going on. You might want to think about some family counseling too. A professional watching how you interact with your children might be able to give you some good insight into anything you're doing unconsciously to contribute to them not getting along - and help reinforce what you're doing that is already good/helpful. Just a thought. Good luck

You are not the only one S., but it will be a good idea about attending to parenting classes because, they are good for every parent. You just got look in your city or around your city. I also attend to one class and I like to read. If you don't have to attend to classes I recomend you to check books from the library and read. I have a 13 years old and a two and half girls, (I know a big gap!). If you need more information about the class I attend feel free to write me back. I hope this help... Good luck...

Give them time. When my son was born who is 2 now he bonded with my older girls right away but my son who just turned 6 didnt want anything to do with the baby. The other day i saw my boys playing together and they were getting along...
S.

I would recommend parenting classes, and I don't say this because you are inadequate. I live in Hawaii, and parenting classes are offered here for free, so almost anyone does it who knows about it and who can fit it in to their schedules. I have met some great people and developed many friendships from these classes, and they also have a children's enrichment component to them, so the kids get some great activities, learning and peer interaction as well. Don't beat yourself up. In our society, blended families are so common that it seems like life should be easy and normal, but far from it!! I have a theory that blended families are going to cause a breakdown in our society because there are so many feelings that need to be brought out into the open that are being suppressed. Anyway, off of my soapbox. get some help, and enjoy it, because it really is fun to go to these classes and meet other people who struggle just as you do. It will help.

If you really feel you need some help then listen to your gut & ge sign up for a parenting class. I used to feel the same way about my 2 older boys & after taking a parenting class, I feel even more confident raising my girls - & I'll tell you, honestly, my girls are A LOT more out of control than the boys, surprisingly!!! The thing I liked best is that the concepts are useful not only for the kids, but all relationships - young & old!

Go to the website listed below & order the book through Amazon. The website has instrucors registered around the nation.

Hope this helps :)
http://www.incaf.com

I also have a 5 & 2 year old (both boys), and they too are a handful. My 5 year old is very strong willed and hard to control, he goes nuts when things don't go his way, and does not like to share, it makes me crazy because it teaches the little one to do the same. So we have put our foot down and are determined to correct him and the one thing I have found to be so important is consistency. If they are fighting, and I tell my 5 year old to stop, and he does not, of course the first thing he gets is time out and I tell him the consequences. I start by taking away his favorite toy, if it still continues, I'll take away his favorite show, then I tell him he has to earn them back by following directions and listening, and continuously remind him when he's getting in trouble, but if I say I'm gonna do it and then I don't, it doesn't even phase him. Even when it comes to eating dinner or not doing what he is supposed to do, there is a consequence and you have to stick to it, don't just forget about it or give in. This has really been working, he's getting tired of having things taken away, and me constantly giving him a consequence, all I have to do now is tell him what is gonna happen if he doesn't stop, and since he knows I'm gonna do it, he stops. I also recommend watching the TV show Super Nanny, they have some great, effective ideas for how to handle situations like that. It's on Mondays at 10pm.
I hope this helps...good luck!