Seeking Help - Lincoln, NE

Was she neglecting him to the point that you should have called the authorities? Otherwise, the best way to see him is to apologize for what you said to her.

You said that she is never home, is she keeping him with someone safe like a sitter or relative? That isn't neglect. Futhermore, you want to see him -- is that with her? Or do you want her not to spend time with her child, and you are just upset you are out of the rotation?

I would go and apologizes for giving your opinion of the situation to her. Sure your her mom, and sure you feel you have a right to advise her. Maybe she for whatever reason doesn't feel so and you giving your take on her life has offended her and separated you from your grandchild. I would go and apologizes and tell her you now understand that your opinions aren't welcome and will keep them to yourself unless she asks for assistance. Sometimes the best thing a mom can do is mind her own business which I know is hard... but it's true. Sometimes you don't know the full story or the undercurrents of her life and your advice hurt her. So I would stick to loving my grandchild, apologizes to her and move on. She'll come to you for advice when she needs it, and if she never does well there is nothing you can do about it. But at least you can be there to support her and her child/ your grandchild in some capacity if you do this. Sometimes being the bigger person is difficult.

Hi there- I am so sorry that you cant see your grandchild.
Have you tried to corner your daughter and have a heart to heart with her? Have you told her that you will no longer comment about her life that at this point you just want to see your grandchild? Have you got to the point that you dont think that he is being taken care of that maybe you can go talk to someone about getting him placed in your homw-What is the other grandma thinking about it all?
hope you find a way- I know people can be mad for awhile but hopefuilly she will get over it.

I know that it's hard being a mom doing it all alone. A job and a child is difficult, along with other things that happen in life and a husband in Afghanistan can't be easy on the stress level either. She's obviously making mistakes with her life by having a boyfriend, however she needs to learn and grow from them on her own. The worst thing that my mother does to me is tell me what I'm doing wrong and it makes me feel like the worst mother in the world. If I ask for advice, then I expect it, however if I don't ask then it makes me feel like she's butting in. My point is, while I know it's hard not to try and help, she is an adult and you have to let her live her life. Maybe apologizing about giving her unsolicited advice and letting her know you're only there to support and help her would remedy the situation. If you feel the need to vent about her situation and actions that's a good way to decrease your stress. Just remember not to say any judgemental things directly to her. It's the easiest way to keep the peace and see your grandchild. Hope this helps, even though it may not be what you want to hear, I've been through this situation time and time again with positive results.

I think it is cruel of your daughter to take her anger at you out on her son/your grandson. The one she is hurting the most is her child by denying him time with someone he loves and trusts. But, and this is the hard part, we, as women and mothers, only want approval from our own mothers, not criticism or to be made to feel we are screwing up our lives, even if it is apparent to everyone else that that is exactly what we are doing! So, for your grandsons sake and no-one elses, apologise. One day, probably sooner than you think, your daughter will realise that she is screwing up and potentially ruining her sons life and come to her senses, but until then, let her get on with it, just make sure you are there for that little guy who obviously needs you more than your daughter does right now. I really, really hope that you work this out, just remember that you are the only person right now that can change this situation because your daughter is not ready yet to do so, and get your grandson back where you can keep an eye on him! Good luck and God bless you for being the wonderful Grandma that you are!

I think the best thing to do is to say your sorry, so you can see your grandson again and make sure he is being taken care of properly. There isnt much you can do for your daughter at this time, except be there for her when the bottom falls out from under her and she needs your help. The hardest thing in the world to do is to stand back and let your baby make mistakes, even if they are adults, but if you try to help, you will just push her away and burn that bridge. If she seems depressed, she may need some counseling, but again its a hard thing for people to except and need to get to that place on their own. I wish you the best here, and I hope for your grandson's sake you will find a way to help. Good Luck!

That is a tough one. Although your intentions were very honorable and it sounds like she needs some advise sometimes when people feel judged they put up walls to 'defend' themselves and retract from situations or people. Support, encouragement and understanding will take you places you may have never been before. Sometimes it is hard not to judge and advise when you see situations that break your heart. It sounds like she needs all the love and support she can get, perhaps you could try going about it in a different way?

I'm sorry that you are going through this and aren't able to see your grandson. And I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice, but I'm wondering, does the other grandma (and I'm assuming here that she is the husband's mom) know that your daughter is leaving the grandson with her so she can see her boyfriend?
I'm guessing if she knew THAT'S what was going on, she wouldn't be so willing to keep him. And I imagine she wouldn't be too pleased with her daughter-in-law.

Best of luck to you. Like others said you could try appoligizing to her and see what happens.

LOTS OF HUGS!
K.