Second Baby

Hi J., I've been there and done that!
There is a book called Beyond One: Growing a Family and Getting a Life By Jennifer Bingham Hull "A unique parenting book focuses on the single-child family preparing to expand to two, three, or more children, covering everything from baby care and sibling rivalry to exercise and sex for the parents in the house."
Very good book and sound like what you are looking for.
Now, My first two children are 21 months apart and the 2nd and 3rd are 15 months apart. It's not tough, but it's not too hard either. In fact now that I've had another after a big gap, I'd much prefer having a bunch of babies in a short amount of time!
My boys loved talking to the baby inside my tummy, even when they were just one. No, they really didn't know that was a baby inside, but it didn't matter. They were able to talk and be involved.
Let me know if you want to know anything else... like I said, I've been there!

I would recommend Siblings Without Rivalry. I haven't truly read it yet but it was suggested to me when I was pregnant with a second.
Good luck
A.

What a wonderful blessing! I agree with the advice given by Taffy. Getting your son involved when the baby is born is important, and for him to still know that he is loved by mommy and gets attention. Baby nap time. I had the delivery at my midwifes house, and my son was right there. He would freely walk into and out of the room. He was such a blessing, and just seemed to know what was going on!? Though you may not think he understands, he might pick up things here and there. There are some children books you can read to him at the library about a new baby at home. Letting him feel your belly as it gets bigger, explaining why mommy can't always hold him, and doing other things that he won't need to be held so much is very helpful. Ultimately, trust and believe in the Father. He means this all for good! And may you enjoy watching them grow and bond together. It is truly a blessing and something, I continue to be thankful for. Praise God!!

I don't know about an entire book devoted just to the theme of adding another child to the family... and your son will be so young his understanding will be limited. I doubt if you say anything to him now he will understand. As he gets older and your belly grows, you could say "there's a baby in there" and buy him an inexpensive baby doll he can play with - if you find out the sex of the baby .. you could get a boy or a girl doll depending on what you are having.

I think the real trick is going to be for you to find a way to still give him attention once he baby comes so he doesn't get jealous and act out. Kids at this age I find don't really understand that the baby is a real person and will try to play with it as though it is a doll! If your son has a favorite aunt or uncle or godparent, make sure you arrange for that person to spend some time with them after the baby is born. When there are time the baby is napping and he is not. take the opportunity to sit down and read books with him or play with play-doh or even simple puzzles (1-5 pieces) so you can have some one on one time with him. I think that would be more important.. focusing on helping him adjust once the baby comes.. not helping him to understand the concept and get him ready.. because every kid reacts differently and it can be difficult to predict how your son will react once the baby comes... so prepare yourself for that. If you have any child raising books that you got when you had him.. there are probably sections in those books that can also offer some ideas.

congratulations on the pregnancy.

Please visit the Gottman Institute at www.gottman.com and check his books - particularly "And Baby Makes Three". He is a wonderful author, and his website is a great resource. Good luck!

J.-

I've seen books about preparing for your second child, but I can't remember what they're called... You can look for them in the bookstore where the pregnancy/child raising section.

As long as your first son is told and shown consistantly that he is still loved and still special, sibling rivalry should be minimized.

I found that generally with boys, they're not overly interested in babies. Your young son really won't understand what a "new baby" means until baby gets there. When your pregancy gets "showy" you may want to let your son pat your belly and say "hi" to the baby. My younger son was only 14 months old when his baby sister was born. At first he ignored her, then he tried to hit her with a spoon, and now he loves her dearly. Once he learned that sissy was not a threat, and that mommy would smile when he brought a blanket, toy or binky for the fussy pink thing.

Once baby comes, just let your son get involved at his own pace. Parenting two doesn't get sticky until you have two kids yelling "he did it! Not me!..." lol

Best of luck and Blessings to you.
-B.-

When I was pregnant with #2, I was given this great book. It's short, but PACKED with great ideas of things to do to help everyone feel special at this topsy turvy time.

What I especially loved...little ideas of things to do for your little one while you're at the hospital and not at home (I had c-sections & was gone for 4 days)...projects to do with the "Big Brother" to help him feel connected to the baby...it's separated by age of your oldest one so that you know what he will realistically understand at this point...and more and more and more!

Welcoming Your Second Baby (Family & Childcare) by Vicki Lansky

Here is the link to it on amazon.com...
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/103-###-###-####-###...

One more project I did for each of the kids was to make a photo album just for them. I added photos to my oldest child's album before I went into the hospital to deliver #3. I'm a scrapbooker, and a Creative Memories Consultant, and I made an ABC 7x7 album. I made a page for each letter of the alphabet & I put a photo of that child (and some with me and/or family members) on each page to represent something I loved about them. Example: a photo of Ian at the art easel drawing on the "A" page. I wrote "Artistic" and then a short sentence or two about how I love his creative drawings, paintings, clay creations, etc. The idea is to have the album be all about him & the things that make him special. I also included special nicknames, etc. between the two of us. I gave it to him the night before I went into the hospital. He LOVED it, and still does!

Good luck & enjoy it. You all will be fine!

Hi J.,

I am a doula, and I have learned a few tricks of the trade with siblings from other doulas sage advice. If you can incorporate your son in to the care with the little one it will make him feel more involved. For example, he can get mommy a diaper wipe or diaper, or blanket if you are nursing the littlest one. You might consider making nursing time special reading time for the older one, this will benefit them both. I also tell my clients to have a special toy box just for the older one that they may only have when you are caring for the little sibling, such as nursing time, diaper changing time etc. Just remember the more you can involve him the better he will feel about you sharing your love with another. I am sure you will get a lot of really great advice on here! I would apply what works for you and stick with it.

Best of luck,
T.

I looked everywhere and even considered writing my own when someone gave me "Welcoming your second child". If you can't find it, I will try find my copy (we've moved after reading it) and gladly mail it to you. Good luck! I'm 13 days into my 2nd child and yesterday was my first day alone with them, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined, just make sure the oldest is plenty entertained while baby's nursing, that's when my 2 year old got mischevious!