SAHM Tips for Someone Who Is Entering 2011 as One.

I have three kids. With my first child, I worked full time and she was in day care all day. When I remarried and had my first son, things were easy to manage because my daughter was older (10 years older than my first son), so she was pretty independent and helpful, but later on, she moved to her dad's house. However, when I had my last baby, I wish someone would have told me how challenging it is to have two little kids (one in preschool (4 years old) and an infant). Having to work my schedule around the baby's nap, having to carry an infant in a car seat to drop off my oldest son to preschool, getting two little kids ready for a trip, etc., two little kids crying at the same time---what a challenge. I can never say that I get bored--I'm always busy. Plus, it was challenging to me to be pregnant because I was sick all of the time, yet I had to care for my oldest son and my husband worked in another state, so I was alone. My younger son was very colicky and still is high maintenance. Honestly, sometimes I fantasize that it might be easier to just work full time outside the home.

I have no advice as I've never been able to be a SAHM based on family finances but just wanted to say congratulations! Most of us working moms are jealous of your ability to be home with your kids - how wonderful for them! Do not ever allow anyone to feel that you're not doing important work - I can't think of any career that could be more meaningful than training up the next generation that will one day be making big decisions that will impact our life.
ENJOY this new, next season of your life!

pat yourself on the back every day and remember, you can be easily replaced at work but never at home.

I had to leave the house as much as possible so I could get outside-world contact. Friday morning our local gymnastics place had free play for kids ages 5 and under. Most kids don't go until they are walking (unless they are younger siblings), but being the "must get out of the house" kind of person I am, I started taking my daughter at 11 months, before she walked.

Tuesday morning was lapsit story time at the library. When my daughter was a little older, Wednesday morning was the preschool story time. I arranged for lunch once a week with another kid-friendly person. I found someone to do almost-weekly playdates with. We bought a zoo pass so I had somewhere else to go. A lot of other parents around here get Children's Museum passes, but we go the zoo one because it was less expensive.

For housework--that was rough. I was very tired because my daughter had great difficulty playing by herself. (It was an international adoption, so we had to establish bonding before we could even think about doing that.) The best way to encourage myself to clean house was to offer to host playdates at my own house! I found some cleaning activities that we could do together, like mopping the floor. Terrible mess, but she loved it. Good luck!

Don't try to do it alone; it's A LOT harder than it sounds like you think. Get together w/ other stay at home moms as much as you can.
Schedule a weekly date w/ your husband.
Schedule time every week just for you.

1. remember that you are doing the most important job you will ever do
2. try to get out of the house every day: stroller, store, visit a friend
3. have a flexible schedule in place (e.g. I go for a walk or jog every day around 4:00 pm)
4. it's too easy to eat all day so don't keep junk food in the pantry
5. stay in touch with your friends-- it's too easy to become isolated
6. remember that your career will be there when you're ready to go back, but your baby will only be little once

Join a gym with childcare. My kids loved going and I got a nice hour to myself to work out and even watch TV while on the treadmill.

Make friends that you can start playgroups with and meet out at places-even the mall playland was fun. It may take a couple groups to get the right fit so don't worry if you don't like the first one you join.

I would take my kids to all the childhood 'classes' out there. They loved it and it was a great way to make mommy friends. My Gym and Music Together were my favorites, although Gymboree was good too.

Contrary to what MANY seem to believe, it is NOT a crime to let your child watch TV. There are many wonderful shows on for kids and they really do learn a lot from them. This will give you the chance to do a few things. Don't feel guilty.

Don't stress if the house is a mess. You will someday have a pristine house. For now it is more important to enjoy the time with your child. Soon, and I do mean soon because that time passes in the blink of an eye, you will be able to 'do your thing' and there will be no looking back. Your child will never need you again like he does now. My kids are gone all day now and what I wouldn't give to have my little buddies home with me again. I surely wouldn't stress the little things that I used to I can tell you that much.

I think by "boredom and laziness" maybe she meant more intellectually and not literally. I have two kids under age 3 and there is not time to be physically bored or lazy but I often feel a little intellectually stagnant at times

I'm not full-time sahm because I freelance about 2 days a week. But on those days I am with the kids it helps so much to know what our outing for the day is the night before. We belong to the children museum, go to the local independent book store for story time, go grocery shopping where there is a playground, and in the summer do splash pads and pools.

Also I use nap time to prep dinner. Then cook it at 5 while the toddler is watching tv and the infant is snacking in his high chair.

Good luck and have fun.

Congrats!

I work from home as a family daycare provider and I have one daughter with a second on the way. The best advice I can give is to pretend there is more than one until the second comes along! Sometimes I feel like I enjoy the time with my daughter more when she has other children to interact with! So definitely find daily outings to go on (library, park, little classes etc.) Remember that sometimes it is going to feel a little unnatural to have all day with just one child and a house full of stuff to be done. You will feel torn. It really isn't a very natural situation to be in --one adult woman alone with one child. It would have been groups of adult women caring for way more than one child at a time! Part of what I love about doing daycare is it takes the pressure off me to do all the housework spectacularly. My focus is on the children when they are here. I get some done when they nap and I have some time to myself too! Having a routine is key because your child will now what to expect and so will you. I do meals and snacks around the same time every day, give or take a half hour. During the summer we have a nice long (1 hr to 1.5 hr.) outside right after breakfast before it gets to hot and in the colder months we got out unless it is below freezing for at least a half hour or as long as they can stand it. Don't feel like you need to entertain your child or children all day long. Try to rotate toys periodically to keep things fresh. Bring in open ended materials that can be used in a bunch of ways (tray of leaves found, rocks, shells, boxes, strings, cans) You'd be surprised how these cheap items offer way more entertainment value than expensive toys! Keep a good nap routine with the older one and the new one. You need to not have children needing attention all day long! I hope this helps. There are times I miss working with adults and if you ever feel that way, think about anything you could do from home or part time to fill that need. It is okay to feel like something is missing when you leave a career you love!

ha ha "boardom and laziness"! Good one. Well for starters I wish I'd been told I wouldn't so much as have time to organize a closet with a baby. Soon your little one will walk and you will be called to all new levels of supervision. And if you add little one #2, you'll be lucky to get your grocery shopping done. I've stayed at home from the get go. And have now added a second child. There is not a moment in they day that I am not doing something for someone. However, when all I had was one child, I did have a few hobbies that I snuck in during her nap time. But time for hobbies is gone. If I ever find time, I'll add excersise to my life. By far the greatest outlet for me during the week is a large group bible study that offers child programs and a nursery.

Get ready to have your world rocked! I worked in adv/maketing for almost 20 years and thought staying home was going to be a walk in the park---wrong!

I think the biggest pitfall is the "there's always tomorrow" syndrome.
Stay organized and work from a list or every day will blend into the next! haha

It's definitely the toughest job I've ever had--not to mention no pay and 24/7 on call status!

My advice after just going back to work after 8 years as a SAHM is to savor and drink in every minute of it and be sooooo grateful you have this time with your children. They grow up way too fast. Don't worry about scheduling all your time. Get on the floor and play, get messy and finger paint, go outside and explore, take walks, take notes on silly things they say and do and take plenty of video of just every day stuff because you will forget the little details and the sound of their voice and little stages they jump through like hoops. When they are sick you can sit up all night and hold them and not have to go into the office the next day. Being a SAHM is the most difficult and best job in the world! Enjoy!

Sounds like 2011 will be an exciting year for you!

My biggest piece of advice is this - sit down with your husband and figure out what you expect of each other in this new role. It is unrealistic to assume you can keep the house spotless, laundry done, meals prepared, etc. while you take care of the kids as well. Realize you can't do it all by yourself and make sure your husband doesn't expect you too.

When I start staying home I thought I would have time for everything, and it was stressful for me because I felt like I was letting everyone down. My husband laughed, but it was a big deal for me. Now I have relaxed and clean more on a schedule and things are great.

Good luck in the New Year!

Well it will be exciting, that's for sure! MS gives some good advice about talking with your hubby...but the thing is, you aren't really going to know what's realistic until you do it. Plus, if you do get pregnant, that changes the whole ball game. I'm sure you remember being exhausted with your first pregnancy, but when you have a toddler at home, it's even worse! ;) So, I guess my advice is be prepared for marital strife!! You will work through it, of course, but it will be a hard transition for both of you. It's worth it though, in my opinion, and you just have to keep the lines of communication open with your husband so you understand each other. My other piece of advice is to find yourself a small group of mom friends that you can rely on for last minute play dates and sanity checks! I also agree with Mallory on the gym with a day care. I'm sure your community has a TON of free and/or cheap stuff to do, you'll just have to figure out where to look. A good place to start is libraries and book stores, they always have story hours! Good luck!

As someone else mentioned, going to the library for either story time or special events is a great habit to begin. In nice weather, check out parks in your area. Its fun to have at least one new excursion a week.

Time will fly so don't try to fill every hour, otherwise it will get frustrating. Having lots of unscheduled time will allow you to see what your child is interested in. You'll also have lots of time to teach your child about basic things like cooking, cleaning, gardening, laundry, bible, and school subjects. Yes, you can be teaching nonstop!

Regarding cleaning, my son loved operating the electric broom or swifter, as they are just his size.

You are making a great choice! Have fun!

Hey there. I've been a SAHM since my now 2.5 yr old was born. I too didn't want to get bored.

Get out of the house if you want to. Even if you have no spending money or nowhere you NEED to go, get out.
Free places to go:
the park/playground to play and/or have a picnic,
feed the ducks at the local river/pond,
go see the animals at the local animal shelter and/or petstore
go to "Toddler time" at the local library once a week

Find other moms to meet up and have lunch with. I enjoy our monthly trips to Church too. My son loves playing with the other kids, so being involved with church where there's often free childcare - take advantage of it.

Also - with your job, oftentimes SAHMs find they wish they could work part time. Would your job let you do that? Work away from the office for maybe 10-20 hours a week? You'd never get bored and you could work at home.

Be sure to keep a journal and list all the adorable things your son does while you are home with him. Then when people ask you how on earth you can give up your career to stay at home, you can be reminded by your journal which will have cute stories like when your son starts talking and all the cute things he says, or the way he cuddles up to you in the morning instead of you having to rush him out the door to daycare.

The other advantage to this journal is for you to read and remember from time to time when you are tempted to go back to work (like when your son gets into something and "paints" the house with it...).

A good book to read is, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms."

You will never be bored if you look at the world from your son's eyes and think, "What would be fun today?"

Congrats on a great decision and enjoy!

I have been a SAHM for about 3 years now and it is great and I love doing it so much. But it is a lot of work. Some good advice would be take time to really enjoy your child even if your chores are stacking up. Get sleep because you'll need it. And do the best you can to focus on the chores you need to get done. You in for the time of your life :-).

Make other SAHM friends! Join a class, playgroup, library storytime, church group, whatever and put yourself out there.

Consider a gym or Y membership (with child care).

I think a schedule is a great idea, but I'm not organized enough to have one myself!

Hi there,

I too was a career woman and became a full time SAHM when my 2nd daughter arrived. It is the hardest job I've ever done!!!!!

I wish someone would have told me how "Thank you's" are not given out, you get no sick days, you have to figure out a salary for yourself because no one will pay you for all you do. Take time for yourself when the kids are done with breastfeeding.....leave them with hubby for a couple of weekends away a year!

Make a schedule and spreadout your work, it makes it less overwhelming to be scheduled and prepared. I have never been bored or lazy, I have been lonely a couple of times just because life is so busy.

Enjoy the time you have with your kids, it really goes by fast.

Good

Honestly, I wished that I didn't completely quit working...kept one foot in the door.

Find a playgroup. moms club international: momclub.org will list any groups that are meeting in your area. Also MOPS.org for church based support groups. MOPS stands for "mothers of preschoolers", but don't wait until your child is older, it is a support group for mothers from birth on. Also look on Meetup website for playgroups in your area for SAHM. You could also enroll in baby/mom classes for exercise, swimming, music, etc and meet other SAHM that way. Being around other mothers has really encouraged me to be the best mom I can be and gives me ideas of how to do things better. Look up a website called "Intentional mothering" for more ideas. Good luck! from a SAHM mom of 6 years.

If you're used to being social at all or working or having "you" to yourself-have an outlet. It's VITAL! I'm coming into my 3rd year at home full time and I love it and feel so blessed to be able to do this, BUT...it took a long time and a lot of weight gain and depression, and confusion in the world of Mommies to find an outlet for my stress, my private time, and the much needed support of other stay at home moms with similar parenting styles. I highly recommend that you stay or become connected in ways that foster time with your kids, but time for you as well and always, always make time for yourself in the week, even if it's only an hour to take a drive or something.

Enjoy your new year as SAHM...it's an incredible ride!

Schedule "me" time!! When staying home, it is real easy to forget that you need your time alone and grown up time every once in a while. Staying a home is a GREAT job! I set myself a scedule of what needs to get done each day to help from getting lazy but the list is not set in stone. Enjoy your time with your son and future kids!

I have 2 other resources that I didn't see mentioned - www.flylady.net for keeping up with the house and Life Skills for Kids by Christine Field. The book covers all kinds of areas of life that we need to think about in preparing our children for life - and has in one section a list of age appropriate chores that children can do. To have them start early having a piece of the home responsibilities helps them to see that they are a part of the team - and when they are little they love feeling big and helping out. Yes, it does take longer to do everything but it is so worth it in the long run.
And I think the biggest shock to me in being home with babies/toddlers is how hard it can be. It looks so easy from the outside, but it really takes everything you've got - so much more so than my career ever did. But so much more worth it.
God bless,
A.

My best piece of advice would be to forgive yourself (because you might find that it's NOT as "fun" or "satisfying" as you think it should be) and take time for YOURSELF. The expression "if mama isn't happy, no one is happy" is probably no more true, than when you make the choice to stay home with a child, because it is HARD. Sometimes physically taxing, though more emotionally and mentally taxing (for me, anyway). If you have the money to join groups or that type of thing, then go for it, but if you don't, even just hitting the mall playground can be lifesaver. If you have any friends that stay home with their kids, make sure y'all get together when you can. And don't be afraid to talk about it, if it turns out you don't LIKE staying home, because it's not for everyone. While some women talk about how great it is, and what a blessing it is, I've found that most of my friends don't agree; if you don't have the money or means to get out of the house now and then, or have a great support group, it can be quite taxing, and less than fullfilling.
Also, make sure you and your husband have realistic ideas where money is concerned and talk to your husband about what he expects, because you won't be June Cleaver no matter how hard you try. It's hard for most men to understand just how hard it can be to be a SAHM. They sometimes think that all you have to do is keep the house clean, and the kids fed, and laundry done, and bills paid, and cooking done, and they don't always understand why you can't do it all!
Good luck!

Believe me, you will not be bored or able to be lazy. Why is this such a common assumption of Stay-At-Home-Moms??? My husband's sister said she couldn't handle just being lazy all day, and I was a new mom at the time- it felt horrible to hear that the work I do each day to take care of our baby girl and home was considered lazy... but then, she has no children.
Being home, you will be able to take care of the home and most importantly, spend quality time with your child, teaching, playing, listening, reading, etc. It is never a dull moment at home with your baby/babies.
I was sad to leave the wonderful pay behind when I resigned, but it was the best sacrifice we could have made. And I am loving the opportunity to volunteer with my little girl at church. This is sooo what I was made for. And I can guarantee you that your son will love having your there. :)

If you have the money, consider joining a mommy and me class at your local toddler gym. The gymboree, my gym and little gym are some options if they are in your area. My son and I enjoy mommy and me classes and we get to interact with other SAHMs and toddler.

Get connected with other SAHM moms and start playgroups. You can meet other moms at the park during the weekday. If there is a Gymboree out there you will meet a lot of other moms too. Whatever you do, do not hang out in your house all day. You will go crazy w/o interaction from the outside world. Getting out will help your child learn to socialize too by watching you. Good luck!

My only advice is don't be too hard on yourself. Whatever happens, however you cope and whatever you do, give yourself a break. Going from being a person out in the world kickin' butt and takin' names to a behind the scenes person at home may be challenging. Give it time if you find it more difficult than you expected. I think it is so great that you will be doing it with one child first. That will help so much. It is very rewarding but also very trying some days. Oh also, when you start you will have a baby and you may think you need to do more because a baby is not that hard and you are used to being on the go. If I could do anything differently I would relish my time that I had at home with my firstborn instead of trying to fill my schedule up all the time. How much you work, or how much you do does not define you. It is great to have relaxing days at home with baby. Baby becomes a toddler and things change drastically so enjoy and congrats!!!

There's probably a playgroup in your neighborhood, find it!! Swap babysitting with another mom with a child near your child's age so you can go to the dentist, or lunch with a friend, etc by yourself. A mother's day out program is a requirement too, if only for 1 day a week (I didn't have any family close by to watch either of my children).

I found going to a Bible study like BSF or CBS gave me the intellectual stimulation (and adult interaction) I needed and they both have baby thru Kindergarten classes too.

Schedule at least 30 minutes of physical play or activity for both of you every day. I found it worked best after the after lunch nap. We walked, played outside, if raining or cold ran around inside. Get your heart rate up and you will be amazed at the energy you have afterward.

Congrats on getting to be a SAHM! I can honestly say it took me about a year and half to get the hang of it. (4yr and 22months) Now, in a few months we'll be adding another little one, and I'm kind of scared! But all I can tell you is what has helped me. DIFFERENT THINGS TO DO!!Fortunately, I have alot to do in our area. Just finding things to do helped me alot.
-Farmer's Market
-Beach (even if its not Hot we just go play in the sand and look for shells)
-Playdates with friends (we help each other with kids, and each others laundry, dishes..... etc. whatever a friend needs help with. ;)
- I run to the park with them a couple times a week
- Go shopping or out to lunch once in while (I have girls, they LOVE it.)
-Visit my Mom
- Make snacks and watch a movie
-Cook or bake something and have them help.
-Nick Jr. and Sprout- (live savers especially if your trying to clean!)
And I'd say don't beat yourself up about a perfect house. I'm seriously cleaning all day it seems and it makes no difference. Just enjoy your kids that other stuff isn't that important.

Best wishes!

It's a hard transition especially when you are used to having your own money. I was a graphic artist before my son was born in Feb. 2008 (and I'm expecting baby #2 in 3 weeks). Took me quite a while until I got a routine down but remember that I was a new mommy and it was a whole new learning curve for me. I have a schedule and I stick to it like glue. I actually have weekly calendar pages that I print from my computer that I keep on my fridge that helps me stay organized because it is real easy to forget stuff. I am extremely fortunate that my parents are retired and live very close so they come over all the time to visit or if I need a sitter for a while. The schedule is also great for my son because he knows what to expect every day. It has gotten a bit easier since he turned 2... I'm able to shower in the morning and he stays in the bathroom with me and looks at a book (he enjoys it too) and on Mondays I clean the house and he watches his kiddie shows, draws and looks at books. If you get your child involved in the cleaning stuff with you (my son LOVES to help), it will make your life go smoother and you both have fun too. When the weather is good, plan picnics in the park or other fun things (you'll be surprised at how many free things you can do). Enjoy being with your son... I can't even begin to tell you how much closer I feel with my boy because I am with him all day. You know your child SO much better. Good luck!