Seeking Advice on How to Be a Stay at Home Mom?

I am also a SAHM who used to work. Most days I am glad, but there are times when I am bored to tears! One thing that is helping me is joining "mom groups". Sometimes it is hard to be motivated to get out and attend events, but I have started thinking of it this way - it is good for my son if I do. If I do it for me, I tend not to go, but if I do it for my child, I am more motivated. Also, you have to RSVP in advance so you kinda feel obligated. I find that the more I go and get out and speak with other moms, the better I feel, and the faster the days go by. Try meetup.com or parentconnection.com

Just because the title is "Stay at home Mom" doesn't mean that moms actually stay home all day and never go anywhere or do anything. :)
Working out at the gym, spending time at classes for kids, going to the playground, going for walks, shopping, visiting with other moms or friends in the area...the list could go on. You only stay home as much as you want.
Trying to keep the home functioning, the kids (husband included) happy and find time for myself is never easy...I can't imagine adding work to the list would make it easier other than getting more time away from the family.

Oh R.! I feel for you!!! I've been in the same boat! I am also 34, and used to be a career woman! Here is what works for me, and hopefully this will help you too! Okay, as a career woman, you did things that made you feel accomplished, and gave you a sense of pride. Well, you have to look at staying-at-home in the same light. Yes, you may miss adult interaction (as I did), but you still need to take time out for yourself every once in a while!!! When you get up in the morning, get ready as if you were going to a job (minus the work attire). Take a shower, do your hair and make-up so you feel like yourself. Give yourself a "me" moment in the morning before the kids wake up. Have a cup of coffee, do some exercises, read the paper. Do something for yourself. Then, when the kids are up, you feel refreshed instead of just being dragged out of bed! And if someone happens to stop by, you look good! Next, plan out your week. Say, today I'm going to the store, run errands, pay bills etc. Try to put some planning into your week, so when you finish those tasks, you feel as if you have reached your goals (like at work) and will feel a sense of accomplishment for finishing your tasks. However, don't beat yourself up if you can't do every single thing on the list, 'cause we all know, with kids, things don't always go as planned! Next, try to look at your day almost like a schedule sometimes...clean in the morning, take the kids outside, read to them, watch pbs (educational stuff, let them go to educational sites like www.starfall.com so you feel like they are learning at home too!) As silly as it sounds, take pride in your house! Sometimes when we work, we don't have enough time to finish all the chores. Well, know you get to keep your house a little neater, take pride in that! Just take a moment, and sit back, and look at all the things you can do, moments you can enjoy, and enjoy your kids. Find things to do, so you don't get unmotivated (which is easy to do) Don't just sit there when you are home, get involved! I know when I stayed home with my first one...I would've gone nuts if I didn't have anything else in my life! With my first, I was still going to school, so that gave me something else to do other than just be home all day. Why not try joining up with a mom's group so you can vent your frustrations, share experiences, and laugh at all the wonderful things your children can do! Just be involved in your kids, your home, and your life instead of just being a bystander. Do things that will give you a sense of pride. And remember to take care of you! Because if you do, you'll be a better mom for it! Hope that helps!!!

R. -

It seems to me some women are completly fulfilled be being a stay at home mom. I wish I were, but when it's just me and the kids for weeks on end, I go a little mad. I started a business several years ago that has really helped me have something to focus on for me, but now that I'm expecting child #4, which will leavde me with 2 under 2 for a while, I am selling my business because I know I won't have the attention to give it and my family. I am a little nervous about how I will cope, but it helps a lot that my husband and I are both involved in community theatre so that gives me some outlet to have some mommy time.

So, I don't think that we necessarily need to have a job, just some outside interest that doesn't involve the kids.

Good luck!

I think it's all about balance. You've got to have time for yourself as well as time for your kids and your husband. Since you are a career woman as well, maybe you could start a business from home that would help keep you motivated and give you a feeling of personal accomplishment. I have a 17 month old daughter and am almost 5 months pregnant right now; once this new baby is born, I don't think that I will be able to go back to my current job. A few months ago, I got started with a great business called Stayin' Home and Lovin' it so that I will still have an income once I stop working outside our home. It's something that you can do around your kids' schedules so you still have time to take care of them and at the same time keep yourself motivated with a great team of moms like you! Let me know if you want to find out more about it.

I'm a SAHM of fraternal twin girls 19 months and i agree that it's physically and definitely mentally draining. Some days are depressing and boring. But, i've learned you need to take the good with the bad. I take solace in knowing that i'm raising healthy future citizens of our country that are good people with the morals/values I want to instill, not the local daycare workers values.

I agree with the other moms who have been mentioning scheduling to keep you and the kids busy. It is SO key, to stay busy. We live in Las Vegas, NV and in our city (through the hospital they delivered at), they have a place called Family To Family St.Rose Dominican Hospitals. They offer classes for free. We also went on mommy and me playdates once a week at least. We also go either in the backyard; a walk around the neighborhood; or to a park; or hiking, every single day. It's good for the kids and you to breathe fresh air every day! There's also the library; swimming lessons; the gym (childcare provided); or the mall.

When talking of scheduling, I wanted to mention dinner. It would fill up part of your day to go to the grocery store once per day or every other day to be able to buy your produce fresh for dinner that night. You can use your spare time to plan the menu for the upcoming week and try out new recipes.

I also highly recommend you start listening to a woman on the radio called Dr. Laura Schlesinger. She's syndicated on talk radio and is on at Noon where we live, I'm not sure in Washington though. You have to listen to her for at least a month before deciding you hate her or love her. She's not for everyone, but people usually don't like her because she's very straight up and somewhat abrupt with people. And in my opinion, they get mad at her mostly because they know deep down what she's saying is the truth and they don't want to admit they're doing the wrong thing.

I also recommend reading a few of her books: "The 10 stupid Things Parents do to Mess up their Children's Lives;" "The proper care and feeding of Husbands;" "The proper care and feeding of Marriages;" and maybe, "The 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives." Again, she's not for everyone, but she will make you feel better about the fact that you're staying at home with your children and not letting someone else raise them.

With that said, I definitely agree you need to have hobbies, volunteer experiences or interests that do take you away from your kids at LEAST once per week. I myself, model and I choose jobs that don't take much time away from them at all, but i still get out of the house every once in a while.

Hope that helps. Oh, there are also tons of books about activities you can do with your infants/toddlers/preschoolers and i found them very helpful.

R.,

It isn't easy, but you can do it. You have to plan activities for you to get out. I got involved with a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. They usually meet in local churches. You get a chance to meet other moms and find out about the resources in the area. Just because it is in a church, doesn't mean they will shove religion down your throat.

I would also join a gym or the "Y". Exercise has really helped my spirit and self esteem. My son loves the childcare and time with other kids.

We also regularly visit the library, Children's Museum (You can get a free pass @ the library), playgrounds, etc.

The main thing is to find time for you to be just you and for your kids to have outlets as well.

Hi R.. I get Seasonal depression. So about now, I feel unmotivated and I don't do much. It was real easy when my son was a baby and needed to be home a lot...now, not so good. I too worked and had a few moments between jobs and went nuts. Now that I am a stay at home mom I have good days and bad. The best advice I have for you is to stay active. I go to my grandmas every Thursday. I go to my grandparents every Monday. I try to have every Friday with my friend who has a 3 year old boy as well. I go to story time at the library. Try to make things happen. If your kids are stuck inside all day, they begin to feel what you feel. They get restless and begin acting up. Look for mommy and me groups in your area. I am putting my son in a co-op in the fall. I can't wait. I get to go once a week and the other two days I can drop him off and go to the gym, grocery shop, go to the bank...whatever..me time.
There are so many women in this world who would love nothing more than staying at home with their kids and for their own reasons can't. Try to make this time amazing for your kids. You'll never get this time back. So enjoy your time with your kids and your time off work. Most of the time I'm more busy as a stay at home mom than I ever was working. Good luck and have fun.

I am a stay at home mom of 3 kids. I have stayed at home since my oldest was born. I recommend first that you get up every day and get dressed and put your make up on so you feel human. Don't fall into the sweats no make up lounging around thing. Get your cleaning done, kids ready whatever you have to do around the house in the morning. I highly recommend finding a play group. I co-lead a mom's night out group specifically for stay at home moms of pre-schoolers. We get together every other wednesday night just the moms. We also get together on a regular basis and let our kids play together. At the mall, Chuck E Cheese, the park, etc. It really is a life saver to have a support group like this. Other women who are going through the same thing as you. I know there is a group in the valley and many churches have them as well. Getting out by yourself or with friends on a regular basis when your husband is home is very important! It's also important to have others to talk to when you feel like your going crazy. You will have those days. But you will see the blessings far outweigh any hardship.

I was a stay at home mom for the first 9 months of my daughters life. I found that finding a mom's group got me out of the house and let me connect with other mom's. It made it so staying at home was not so isolating. I also made sure that when the weather was nice I went outside with my daughter. Even if it was just a 10 minute the fresh air did us both good. I also went on anti depressants because I felt unmotivated and very unhappy. I had a rough delivery and that has given me more motivation. I am not saying go on them but this is what helped me. I have now reentered the workforce but I do miss staying home.

Volunteer... you need a few hours a week away from your kids as well as needing a purpose other than "mom". It's very easy to get into the "I"m not _____, I"m just mom/wife"... we tend to forget that "mom" is made up by different likes and dislikes than "we" are. For instance, the mom in me likes to play with my kids, go to the park, read stories, etc. But when someone asks what MY favorite things to do are... are those really it? No... As a human myself, I enjoy going out with my friends, reading (adult books!), photography, etc.
Also, get your kids involved in weekly activities that allow you to visit with other parents. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but most areas have Mothers of Preschoolers groups... or indoor parks... both of these would give you a chance to be mom and adult at the same time. In addition, maybe a play date where you can visit with a friend and the kids can play.
Another suggestions... because you mention your a business woman. Do a home business... I have a friend that just became a stay at home mom of 3 and she says this is the only thing keeping her sanity. She performs wedding ceremonies as a hobby/job... it gets her out of the house once a week or so to visit with clients and then every 2-3 weeks for a wedding, and she got ordained online! There is also candlelite, home and garden, etc.

I've only been a stay-at-home mom for a short time. I had to stay home through most of my pregnancy and have been at home since. There are times when I feel like I'm going to go nuts with nobody to talk to and no adult interaction during the day. I think the best thing that has gotten me through it is a schedule during the day. I plan out the things I have to do the next day, that way I know that I have work to do and there's no time to sit home. It's easier when you know you have to get up, make breakfast, get the kids ready, then playtime. It can get almost just as busy as gonig to work. On the bad days, I just look forward to my husband getting home and having adult time. Being a stay-at-home mom is a great thing. There's nothing like watching your kids grow up.

It looks like you've gotten a lot of responses already, but I know how you feel. I am 28 years old with a 6 month old baby girl. I have worked since I was 14 years old and my dream was to someday be a stay at home mom. But, I was planning on going back to work. My daughter had some medical problems, and my mom who was going to watch her, is now needing to take care of my dad due to health reasons, so I had no choice but to quit my job.

I find myself going crazy at home. I Love my daughter, but I miss the social interactions of adults, especially my coworkers, who are more like family. All of my friends have jobs, and so I have nothing to do during the day. I find myself so unmotivated to do anything. I basically just clean house all day long, when I am not playing with my daughter or feeding her, etc.

I know you want advice, and I guess I don't really have any because I am in the same predicament. But, it sometimes makes me feel better to know that other people are feeling the same way as me. I will probably read some of the advice that you get to help me out as well.

Good Luck with everything.

Hi R. :)

I have a friend with the same feelings you do. She wants to stay home but has feelings of worthlessness and feels only content when she is working.
First of all! :) Raising children is THE most important job in the entire world. Not many moms are able to stay home with their children, but if you are, then I would fight to keep doing it. They need YOU, not strangers in a daycare. They need your advice, example, your love, your leadership and dicipline. Your presence, example and leadership is the mold of the adults that they will one day become. Be proud of being a stay at home mom and know that you have the most important JOB in the world--raising children who will become good responsible people and assets to their society and the world. :)
THAT being said, I think it might help if you had something to do at home that will keep you and your mind busy and motivated. Have you ever wanted to do anything creative? Paint, sew, etc.? Now's the time to try it out! :) I make rag dolls at home in my spare time. It's extremely satisfying and I even make money off them. :)
Best of Wishes to you and your Family!
M.

Hello,

I am a mother of 2 girls, ages 8 and 20 months and just found out that we are pregnant again. I have always worked, but after having the baby I really wanted to stay home. I finally had the opportunity to quit my job and start my daycare business.

I have only been home for 5 weeks, but I have a schedule with my kids that we do on a daily basis. I have also made friends with other providers so that we have play dates and art and craft time. We sing songs, read, learn the days of the week, abc's and numbers. We have nap time, lunch and then pick the oldest from school. I only have a couple of kids right now so it is easy for me to take them to the grocery store. We have fun at Henrys picking out fruit and vegetables it is all a learning experience for the kids. We are planning to take the kids to a nearby dairy to show them where our milk comes from and also start taking them to story time at our local library.

To be honest with you by keeping them on a schedule it makes the day go by really fast.

We are located in San Jacinto, if you are interested in joining us.

I am not a career mom. However, I have been a stay at home mom for almost eight years. I think the best way to stay out of a depression is to keep going forward. The kids and I make plans for the next day while doing our bedtime routine. This usually includes something they want to learn, like riding a bike or baking cookies. And somewhere they want to go, like the library or park or to visit a friend or relative. After that it is pretty easy to connivance them to behave and do their chores around the house.
As a career mom you had a schedule, that is all you really need now. Just don't over do it, for the kids sake.

Well, I guess we all put on good fronts, but it seems inside alot of us feel the same about staying home with our kids... I get really depressed and unmotivated too!!! I found a homebased business. I started as a Tupperware consultant in June 2006. I never in my life thought I would be a stay at home mom selling Tupperwae, but here I am. I really like having the opportunity to get out of the house a time or two a week. I get to go do parties for people and go to unit and sales meetings where I get recognition for me! Not what I did for my kids or husband, but for me! Sometimes people forget we are still humans who like a little pat on the back once in a while for things that are not family related! It has given me the opportunity to meet lots of good people! I have made new friends. I have also met others in different direct sales businesses, such ar Party Lite, Mary Kay etc... Most of them were also stay at home moms! Just a thought, there are all types of direct sales businesses that offer you the opportunities to work your own hours, be with your family, but also be away from them at times!!!!

Hi R.. I was asking for this same advice just 2 months ago when I decided to become a Stay at Home Mom with my 4 month old daughter. I understand where you are coming from because I am a self diagnosed Workaholic. Before the birth of my child I used to work on average 15 hours a day, leaving little time for my husband let alone myself and my child. However a friend gave me a book titled "Staying Home From Full-Time Professional to Full-Time Parent" by Darcie Sanders and Martha M. Bullen. This book nailed all the issues I was dealing with during my transition time and provided advice on how to stay motivated and ideas on how to make the most of your time with your kids . I highly recommend you picking it up. Best to luck to you!

Hi R.,I have been a stay at home mom for 12 years now. And your right sometimes we can go nuts. There is no one to talk to that is in your level of thinking. It might take a while before you will get used to it. What I do after I drop off my 3 kids to school, I go to the grocery, run my errands, go window shopping or most of the time I go to the GYM. Sometimes spend 3 hrs. there. Then go home prepare something for dinner, then it's time to pick up the kids to school. Then sometimes we would go to the libray until 5 pm to do their homework. Then we will go home have dinner and it's time for night routine which is brush teeth, shower, then they have time to watch TV or play video games until bedtime which is 9 PM.Sometimes duing the day I would spend it with my friend, we sometimes go out together to grocery or to GYM or to anywhere. Running a household is much more Tiring than working but it is also rewarding when your kids are more closer to you. I have a 16 year old daughter who tells me everything, even about her lovelife.

R.,

You are giving your children a gift. This is a phase in your life and is not permanent. These children will grow up and grow out of the home faster than you can turn around. Cherish the moments, be thankful you can stay at home. Get involved in your community & childrens schools (so many volunteer opportunities), this helps you get out of the house and meet people with similar interests. You will build friendships that will grow and deepen you as a parent. You will have a support group of parents around you that are all going through similar phases in their lives or their childrens lives.

I have 4 children (5-15) in 4 different schools this year and became a stay at home mom nearly 8 years ago. I have chaired the auction and/or worked on the auction for 6 years, I manage the clothes closet(for our grade school) which supports the whole city, have been a room parent for the last 5 years, go on all the field trips, volunteer in the classrooms(you see you childs eyes light up when you are in their classroom), I see all the kids friends and make relationships with their parents(this is a big advantage as they get older), I also make time for myself ie; coffee with a friend, visiting a relative, special interests, & taking care of the house. Knowing this is is a gift that I am giving to my children and myself makes it all worth while. I will have to go back to work eventually, even then, until the children are out of the house I will work a flexible schedule so I can raise my own kids and be invoved in their lives.

Best of wishes to you, get involved :)

I feel that way when I try to be a stay at home mom too. Its just not for me although I love to be with my kids I feel if I am always there I just don't appreciate them the way I should. Mommy has to be satisfied and happy for the kids to be happy and its not selfish to want your individual wants as well even if people make you feel that you shouldn't want me than your kids every second of your life. I have alot of stay at home mom friends who make me feel bad about it alot but I just think working helps me define who I am and doesn't hurt my family cause my kids are still my life. Have you tried at least working part time? That may help you feel a little better.

Hi R.,

Have you ever thought of working from home? You can stay at home with your children, but have your own activity also. I own a wonderful business that I work from my home and love it. If you want more information, please let me know!

M.

Yes, I agree it CAN make you go nuts. I, like you, have 3 children and have worked since I was 15 years old until about 2 years ago when I quit my job to stay home with my kids.
I worked full time until my oldest went to kindergarten, my middle child was 2 1/2 years old. Our third child came along after I quit. Now-the trick is to keep busy!!!!!!
I still have to keep a to do list as I think it's important to keep the kids busy also with swimming, trips to the library, join a playgroup, go to the park. Believe me you can keep busy. I plan to return to work in a few years. After doing both-I don't care what anyone else says-your kids DO NOT need you ALL the time and it's OK to work as long as you try hard to balance work and family time.

Hi R.,
Staying at home was a challenge for me too, because I wasn't used to it. It really isn't an easy job. You become responsible in so much, but I know and you know the rewards are far much greater. I've been a SAHM for three yrs. and do enjoy it. I've been able to bond with my son, watch him grow and teach him all sorts of things. It's something when your child is a reflection of who you are. Don't get depressed or unmotivated, look at it as time well spent. Get to know other mommies in the neighborhood, start up a playgroup, join a MOPs group at the local church, and watch the time fly by.
I get sad at times because my son will starting preschool in the fall. It feels like it was only yesterday he was born. Enjoy being at home while you can!

Hi R.!
I am s sahm, and I know how you feel! I have a 9 month old, so there's not too muh conversation, and sometimes I am going nuts...
So I started looking for playgroups, it's a really nice way to get your children to play with other kids. Plus you get to get out of the house and have an adult conversation!
So that's my suggestion! go to www.meetup.com, you can find a lot of playgroups there!

R., I had the same trouble you did :( I had 3 kids at the time. I used to scheduel "Field trips" every other day or so.. set them for mid morning so you dont have to get up early and dont get to sleep to late... We would do things like go to the park to feed the ducks, shop clearence racks at target or what ever I needed to get done that day. we would leave the house about 10ish due what ever was planned then have lunch and go home. my kids were younger at the time so after lunch was nap time!! Then snack and an art project or story time if I felt like it then time to clean up and start dinner. Timeing is important. If you make it too early you want want to get up and ready.. if you make it to late it gets in the way of lunch and naps for the younger ones. Having someplace to be helped for me... try it :) Good luck with those little ones! They grow up too fast! T.

I know what you're talking about. Being inside all day seems to drain you as much as chasing those kids around does. Here's what I do to keep myself from feeling blue: get outside when possible, go for walks around home, at the park, etc. Do you have a hobby? If not, find something you enjoy doing with or without the kids - a craft, scrapbooking, etc. Keep the house tidy - I find that busying myself with household chores gives me a sense of satisfaction. Also, if you are able to leave the children with someone for short or long periods, do some volunteer work. In my area, there is a SMART reading program in which people volunteer an hour one day a week to read with school children. Or make other mom friends, arrange playdates where you can socialize too or meet a friend for coffee without the kids. Hope this helps and I'm sure others on Mamasource will have lots of ideas for you too.

I know exactly what you are talking about. For me, it took finding other mom's to hang out with. I started by signing up for a few different Mom/Child classes and met other moms that way. My son has someone to play with and I have someone to talk to and of course, compare notes and get ideas for whatever. Also, parks during the middle of the week are great places to find other stay at home mothers too.

Also, find time for yourself, that is very important, whether it is just taking a bath with some candles after they have gone to bed or even going to the grocery store alone when their dad is able to watch them.

It's okay if you're not happy as a stay-at-home mom! It doesn't work for everyone, and that's perfectly reasonable. It's important for us to feel fulfilled as people, not just as mothers, so if that means you go to work and don't stay home with your children, then that's fine. Being a good mother to your children is what's important, and if being home makes you depressed, then it's better that you do what will make you happy and keep you healthy.

I'm a stay-at-home mom right now, but I can hoenstly say that I've struggled sometimes. I don't have a career that I loved and left to stay home with my son, but if I had, I think I would have probably gone back to work after my son's 1st birthday. Motherhood shouldn't be martyrhood. Do what makes you feel the most comfortable and healthiest. That's the best gift you can give to your child -- a well-adjusted and healthy mother.

hi R.-
i had the same problem. i joined a moms group here in azusa. every week we have things planned. i have also made great friends with other stay at home moms. almost every day i have something going on. staying home is wonderful ! dont give up . it is all worth it in the end !!!

No one ever said it was easy. Some people aren't meant to be SAHM. I have four kids myself and been in both places. Home for four years then worked full time for four years and now I have been home for the last year. The more kids you add to the picture the harder it gets. What is most important is your kids. If staying home makes you deppressed and unmotivated, then that might not be healthy for your kids. The amount of time your kids get from you is irrelevent if that time is not of great quality. I hope you find the answer you are looking for. I look at staying home as my career. I organize my days just like a work week. Try to follow a schedule. Good Luck!

I had my son when I was 35. My first and only. I had been a career woman (real estate) for 12 years and to be at home all the time was quite the change! Plus trying to juggle work, etc. I am now back to work part time and have 2 full days a week alone with my son. What I do is plan, plan, plan. Playdates (host them) or go to someone else's home. Meet at a playground or park. Check out story time at your library or bookstore like Barnes & Noble or Borders. Special lunch dates where the kids get to choose (of course mine always wants "Old MacDonalds' with the play place. Glad they have salads and lower cal foods now!). My son really enjoys helping me grocery shop. He holds the list and helps put produce in the bags. I enjoy playing games with him like memory cards, Candyland. Tinkertoys and Legos are still fun to me! I wish he liked to color more, because that was my thing. But he does enjoy making cards with stickers or fingerpainting with pudding. All fun for everyone and breaks up the monotony. Remember when they nap to do the things that you want to do (even take a nap). The housework will wait. In fact, having the kids help with chores to earn stickers on a chore board or treats works well. Cooking together can be good. Even though my son is only 3, he enjoys stirring pancake batter, buttering bread/toast and putting premade cookie dough on the cookie sheet. Just try to treat them like they are your little buddies and think of yourself as the entertainment director. You will have fun! (And don't forget a girl's night out with friends once or twice a month.)

Hi R.,

My Name is R., and I too am a stay at home mom. I started to stay home about 4 years ago when we moved out here to Stockton, Ca. We figured baby #3 was on the way, and I used to run the largest gym in Northern Ca for 24hour fitness. I was on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Not to mention, I was working a good 50-60 hrs a week at the time.
My children at the time were 8, and 7, and I was 5 months pregnant. There was a lot to get done. My 11 yr old is severly Autistic, and there was something different about my daughter as well, but at the time we weren't sure. Now we know she too is in the Autism spectrum, but a milder case, Asperger's.
I HATED BEING HOME!!! I felt that there was always more that I should be doing. I was used to contribute to the household financially, and there was now the stress of one income. I was always depressed, tired, unmotivated, and weepy. Maybe it was the hormones I thought. However, even after the baby came things just got worse. I tried to take care of kids (daycare) to help out financially, and I that was horrible.
Unfortunetly for me, I had to be placed on anti-depressants. That was all that they could find to help me. My husband was worried because he knew that I was having a hard time at home, he would come home early on days that he would talk to me, and realize that I wasn't doing so well. He really has always been amazing to me. It was really bad though.
About 2 yrs ago, I decided that I needed something for me. Something to make me feel like I was doing something for myself, and helping the family as well. So I became a passion consultant. I got out to meet people, made some money, and was able to have some me time in the process. It's made a huge difference in my life.
Maybe once you're adjusted you can start something yourself, candles, purses, jewlery, even passion parties who knows.
In the meantime, get involved with the schools that your children attend. Find a parents group that you and your child can visit. Try to have fun with it. I know some days i still get depressed, but at least there are other things for me to get involved in. Good luck! Being at home is the hardest job in the world...

R. I can understand! I felt the same way right after my first child was born but I've learned to make myself busy. My kids (2yrs and 13 months) are on a super strict routine and I make it a point to plan lots of activities for them to keep us busy. I also organize a playgroup that has weekly activities. I work very part time...one night a week and I find that gives me enough time away from the kids. And I am able to feel like I an contributing a little something to our income.

Good luck!

I may not have the best advice, but I wanted you to know that you are not the only one! I haven't worked in over a month (I usually only worked part time 2 days a week) but they have no hours to give me. I have been stir crazy too! I try to hang out with friends, go shopping, go to the park, pet stores, etc. I think that most women are so social that it is hard to be stuck in the house all the time with little ones. You need some mommy time. Go out with some friends, get yourself a pedicure, manicure or massage (or if you can afford it, all 3!!) It takes your mind off things at home and allows you to be with grown ups :) Maybe this will help!!

K.

I myself am a stay at home mom. There are times when I just can't stand it anymore. But those times are very rare. What I do is try to keep myself busy. Find something you like to do. I like doing arts and crafts. I go to a group with a few other women that are in the same situation as myself. We get to do arts and crafts while the children go and play. If you can't leave the house or don't have something like that in your community then you can do it at home. It gets boring at times but when it does I find something to do.I fill my day with cleaning, play time with my kids, arts and crafts, and sometimes reading books. It's hard but you will get used to it and find your own ways to deal with being home 24-7 with the kids. My husband is in the navy so it's hard for me to get a job. But that's ok because I would rather be home with the kids to see them grow and help them develope properly. I'm sure you will be fine. You already have the mom part down, now it's just keeping busy being there all the time. But like I said find a hobby and with the rest of the time you'll be busy anyway taking care of the kids, cleaning, and whatever else your day takes you to.

I fully understand. Maybe you should try and do more parent participant activities. PTA, coaching, teaching, etc...
Think of your mothering as a business. I know that sounds crazy but it kind of is. Your a mother, nurse, coach, teacher, accountant, buyer, and much more for your children and husband.
In the end it will benifit them more than you working all the time and you not being available to them.

You need a support system. Other SAHM's are wonderful to be around. Try this... go to www.momsclub.org there is a $25 a year fee (round about) and it is wonderful. It offers playdates with other moms that have kids around your childrens ages. They also offer a moms night out once a month, and it's wonderful meeting others that go through some of the same things you do. I hope that this helps a bit. Remember, stay sane. Get out... go places, have fun with your little one. Take lots of pictures. Being a stay at home mom isn't for everyone. We have the hardest job in the world, and it doesn't come close to paying the bills! I hope that you are doing better with some of this advice... if you want to get together for coffee or something, let me know, I'm up for it!

Dear R.,

I named my first doll Rebecca, and I have always loved that name. You can give to your family the love and care that they are giving you, AND you need to do something for yourself too. Get a part time job, just hunt around and one will popup that just fits your needs. Also, think about volunteering a few hours a week somewhere. I volunteer at the local Salvation Army for 3 hours once a week, and it is fun, and I come home with interesting things to tell my husband, and refreshed, believe it or not.

So, go for it, do something for yourself. C. N.

Hi,
You sound just like me! I'm 36 but I stopped working for the first time when I was 34. I have 3 kids.

I tell you....the first few months I hated it and thought I was going to go crazy! The hardest part was I didn't know what to do. I didn't have a schedule.

Now that I'm over a year into it...I really love it.
It took a while but now I'm busier then when I worked and I love it.
I joined a gym where I take yoga, I kickbox twice a week, I'm a room parent for one of my daughters classrooms, I get a lot more involved in all the school functions, I started my own business at home with Swiss Skin Care (Arbonne), we got a puppy for the first time, and I'm able to take my girls to taekowndo 3 times a week.....and as you can see

Now, I'm very busy but feel like I'm doing things I always wanted to do and I'm able to see my kids a lot more. Believe me I know how you feel...it's hard. The hardest part for me was not making my own money. That's why I started selling Arbonne. At least I could still make a little money but do it from home or around my own hours.

Good Luck,
Crytal

I was a full time career mom as well and decided when my son was about 10 months old to become a stay at home mom and the rewards are wonderful but you can go nuts if you dont find things to keep you busy.. I keep myself busy by when he was younger doing crafts at naptime or reading gardning eith him. and as he has grown older he is 3 now i have started selling tupperware but i volinteer at the pre-school he attends i am there alot i also hold 2 positions on the school boards parent councle.. I hope this helps you.

Hi R.,
I also use to be a working mother full time, working two jobs for myself and older daughter was not married then, I remember going to the bank in a rush to cash my check, to make it back to work on time , and I use to see mothers and there small children spending time together, while I was always in a rush, I always wondered how they could afford to be stay home moms or what they did all day why I had to work? Well now that Im married I get to be a stay home mom and I enjoy it, I spend my days preparing new and diffrent meals for my family, I plan afterschool activities for myself and two little girl,for us to spend time together before daddy gets home.I have time to do little things to the house, paint the bathroom, take down old border and replace it, clean out the closet, or just have time for myself to read a book or have lunch with a friend that I never get to see often. Trust me theres always things to be done in or around the house that you wanted to do but were always working, It will be just fine, and maybe after awhile you might just enjoy it .
Y. B

Just a lifter put some misic on and while you are doin all the things you do throughout the day dance dance dance you'r kids will love it and get in to helping with chors while having fun and rember to turn it up like a party my girl loves elvis

Good luck rember you will be doing 3 things in 1 getting things done children will have fun and know what to do with chors and good work out!!!

Have fun

You hit the nail on the head. Staying at home is hard. I have always worked too and just recently started staying at home. I got depressed to. I found that doing things really helps. GO window shopping with them or take them to the library or park. If you have to make a list of things you can do and then set a sort of schedule. THis will help you to stay on track so you don't find yourself at home 4 days in a row. ALso trying to find other stay at home moms to do play dates with would help. I am still trying that with not much luck.

S.

Get Clear on your purpose for staying home. Why is it important to YOU? Then ask yourself "What do I want to have in my life. (fun, love, excitement, Success?)" now how do I have this as a stay at home Mom?
Just like you look at any job, ask yourself am I qualified, Is it something I want to do?
If there are parts that of the job you are not good at, what can you do to learn them or delegate them out?
Be sure to look at what support is need for you to take this on and enroll you family and friends.
Isolation was one the hardest thing for me when I was a stay at home mom. So getting out even when it was difficult(I am a mother of 5) was essential.
good luck!
D.