W.S.
Married 11+ years. Something we do each Valentine's Day is that we write each other a love letter - a sincere, one-page, handwritten love letter. Then we exchange them over a special dinner at home. We've been doing this for the last few years and the letters are such precious momentos. My husband kinda likes getting 'off the hook' for a gift on valentine's day too ;-) a letter he can do without having to shop! LOL...
When I am feeling less-than-happy with him because his dirty socks are on the floor (or whatever reason) I can take out those letters and read them and they always make me smile. It is also interesting to see in the letters how things evolve in your relationship from year to year.
Everyone is different, but after a few years together and growing into a mature relationship, I think it's important to come to grips with the fact that holding hands, scheduling 'dates' when he's just not into it, making puppy eyes and all that sappy lovey-doo-doo stuff just was not 'real' anymore for us. I find just knowing we are there for each other, laughing together (finding humor in adverse situations - and believe me there WILL be adverse situations) bonds us the most. Bonding leads to intimacy in my experience and intimacy is the glue that holds it all together.
We do create 'date nights' but spontanesouly, if it's scheduled to us it takes the romance out of it, but I know that works for lots of couples.
:-)