Anti Valentine's Day

Like anything else in life, it is what you make of it.
My husband and I have been together for 20 years so we are SO over Valentine's day.
But I still like to put a little treat in my kids' lunches that day, usually a mini heart shaped box of chocolates.
And I sent my college son a care package yesterday which included a larger heart shaped box of chocolates.
I know that will make him smile, and THAT doesn't nauseate me at all!!!

It's a personal choice, no need to bash either side. So really, "nauseates me...belch"? If you were my Valentine, I'd get you a book on etiquette.

When I was deeply in love, Valentine's day, Birthdays, Holidays and everyday was very special. That was 20 years worth of special!

Now days when I see other people who seem to be truly in love, I just remember how it felt when he was here. I look at all the cards, letters and gifts and I still feel loved. I hope you do to.

Blessings.....

The only thing annoying about V-day is the people that complain about it.

We do cards and have sexy rumpus time. We also celebrate Steak and BJ day, which is March 14th.

Sorry you feel that way, I don't go all out, but I do enjoy the day. I love buying cards for the kids to pass out at school, and when they are really young how they can't give the opposite sex that card, because they will think they like them, just too funny to me.

I tell my family I love them all the time, and show them. There is something special, or maybe because my parents made me feel so special to come down the stairs on valentine's day and there was a box of chocolates and teddy bear or something special for me on the table... See that glimmer of happiness in my kids eye now when they wake up and see that.

For most of us who love or like Valentine's day, it's not the only day we tell our Love Ones, how much we do love and appreciate them, it's just a day they can feel really special.

No, it doesn't nauseate me. Life is busy. Holidays are a time to stop, take a breath, and remember what is important to you. Valentine's Day is about remembering all the people you love and all the people who love you, not just your SO. I put little chocolates and stuffed animals on my daughters' pillows so when they wake up, they have a nice little surprise. My husband buys me my favorite candy, and I give him extra kisses and hugs.

We do things throughout the year, sure, but I like having a day where I know I'll take the time to do even more.

I heart holidays. All holidays. Any excuse to celebrate is a great one.

I have 2 kids that live away from me in college. I have been picking up little trinkets and doo dads - car fresheners, costume jewlery, dryer sheets, candy necklaces, microwave popcorn, hot chocolate, just random wierd funny stuff. I'll box it all up in nauseating pink hearts and send it with a heartfelt card to each of them. I did this for Halloween. I'll do it for Easter, I did the same with Christmas stockings. It's a small gesture that keeps us connected. They love getting my mail and seeing what kooky stuff I come up with. Thier roommates all gather round when they get my mail to see what they got. I usually send funny cards on the other holidays, but Valentines is a great excuse for me to go mushy. Teens aren't going for that sorta thing all the time, but they allow it on V-day. I know they both keep all my cards and will go back through them someday.

Yes, I get my SO something. Not because the magic box in my living room told me to. Because I want to. It's not the only time of year I show love, but it is a great excuse for a little lovey dovey time.

I don't get the anti-V-day sentiment, unless the person is single. I hated it making me feel that if I didn't have a sweetheart I was a loser. That kind of pressure is not healthy. Other than that, it's just a kitschy excuse to be sappy. Guys NEED an excuse to be sappy.

I'm just waiting for Valentine's Day lights to string outside my house . . .

:P

i don't get the anti-valentines day thing. All holidays are over produced and over commercialized and kind of lose the sentiment, but I still love them. Sure I don't need a holiday to be extra sweet or get some great gift but I still like celebrating it with the people I love. I love making my daughter a card and writing to her how much I love her and getting her a little cheap gift. No I don't expect huge gifts but its nice to be reminded to tell the people you love how much and why you do. Sure some guys are great at doing this year long, but lets admit it, but as the years/weeks/days (depending how good yor guy is) go on some need a little reminder=) and some of us ladies need the reminder to be thankful to the ones you love as well. IDK thats my opinion. I HEART valentines day...lol...figured I'd add something cheesy in there

and btw
you don't have to be cheesy to celebrate vday---it can be a day you remember to pull out that hot skimpy outfit and prance around in it...it doesnt have to be all teddy bears and candy=)

Updated

i don't get the anti-valentines day thing. All holidays are over produced and over commercialized and kind of lose the sentiment, but I still love them. Sure I don't need a holiday to be extra sweet or get some great gift but I still like celebrating it with the people I love. I love making my daughter a card and writing to her how much I love her and getting her a little cheap gift. No I don't expect huge gifts but its nice to be reminded to tell the people you love how much and why you do. Sure some guys are great at doing this year long, but lets admit it, but as the years/weeks/days (depending how good yor guy is) go on some need a little reminder=) and some of us ladies need the reminder to be thankful to the ones you love as well. IDK thats my opinion. I HEART valentines day...lol...figured I'd add something cheesy in there

and btw
you don't have to be cheesy to celebrate vday---it can be a day you remember to pull out that hot skimpy outfit and prance around in it...it doesnt have to be all teddy bears and candy=)

Wow, all this anti-Valentine sentiment. I get that, really I do, especially if you see Valentine's Day as just a ton of pressure to Be Romantic In the Middle of the Week. And it seems the amount of candy and cheap junk is proliferating -- but the same is true about Halloween and Easter, unfortunately,

However, to me -- though I make a card for my husband and I sure like whatever my husband might do (usually just a card or some flowers from the grocery store) --Valentine's Day really is about friends and our little girl. I love to find goofy cards each year for my girlfriends (married and un-) and the funnier, the better. I love to help with the dance studio's Valentine party and to help my daughter make Valentines for her classmates and go through her Valentines when she comes home from school that day.

It's only a time of unrealistic romantic pressure and overpriced jewelry and expensive meals that were a hassle to arrange if you LET it be about those things.

Of course....for my brother, who is a jeweler, Valentine's Day is entirely about how many diamonds he can sell, and for his girlfriend, it's almost as good as Christmas!

One thing to consider: Look up the origin of "Valentines" and St. Valentine. It's about as far from commercial and crass as you can get, and it makes one pause and think about real sacrifice for love -- not just romantic love but love for God. So if the commercial version turns you off, and you're at all spiritually inclined, check it out.

I got to say I probably go overboard on ALL holidays...I am one Holiday Lovin Lady. I am a room parent and bought a bunch of things for the class Valentines Day party already...Prob TOO much, but I did the same for the Christmas party. I'm excited to stuff the bags with my daughter and see her excitement (and all the other children's excitement) on the day of the party..help them make cards for their parents...

I also already bought my S.O. a gift... I wasn't able to get it on Christmas, so he's getting it for V Day (cologne he wanted)...and I'm pretty sure he will give me a spa gift certificate like last year, so it feels good to be appreciated and share the love/get pampered. Why not take a day to show it? Some people wouldn't if they weren't 'supposed' to... I actually bought a boquet of roses for myself yesterday on sale for $5 at Kroger! Got some for my mom last week too... apparently some businesses over stocked too early. Just something little to show you care. I would NEVER go out to dinner anywhere on Valentine's day though. That is just insanity....

I love all "holidays". I think it would be sad if your SO only showed how much s/he loves you only on that day but I would think for most couples, that's not the case. Just like Mother's day or Father's day, it's a day to celebrate something that is present on a daily basis.

I had to laugh the other day. Walmart's website had an ad for "last minute Valentine's gifts" last week. Seriously? How far in advance are we supposed to be planning this stuff?

Hubs and I haven't even talked about it. I normally do a card and maybe a small token gift. It's just not important.

I don't hate Valentines day. I think it is more for the kids than for married people. My hubby used to get so stressed out having to pick out the "perfect card" I laughed at him cuz it was the one day he tried to be romantic.
For the last 6 yrs I have made a family dinner and made chocolate dipped fruits for dessert. For the last 4 yrs, I have his grandkids come over and let them chocolate dip. I give them a tray of cut up fruit and cookies and let them chocolate dip. It is so much fun to watch and even more fun for them to get all chocolatey!
I am going to their house this Saturday to do our annual Valentine craft. It's not about Valentines day, it is about being together as a family, having fun and making memories.
If you have kids, try and make the day fun for them. They don't understand all the commercialism and hype, they just think it's a day to give out silly cards and get candy. They will learn all too soon our world is cynical and not always nice.
Blessings!
D.

I have always hated this "holiday" even when I was a kid. I remember telling a teacher in grade school that making a cut out paper heart was stupid. She made me do it anyway. I do get my daughter a nice box of good quality chocolates though, only because it's a special treat for us to have candy. We share the box.

Starting from November our family has :Thanksgiving, Son's bday(12/18), Christmas, New Years, Daughter's bday(1/27), Youngest son's bday (today) then valentines day. *insert broke and exhausted here*

We do good to be awake and coherent on Valentines day. HOWEVER, sometimes you just need a moment to reconnect. Whether it be VDay or the weekend before or after or what ever.

And as a rule, people are more OK with taking your kids if you say, "We'd like to spend V-Day together" than "Can you take the kids cause I really wanna hang from the rafters with my SO and bath alone (or together for that matter) and pee by myself"

So do I think it's too much...sure I do...but it does give me a minute to celebrate our relationship and get to know each other again...

Sending good thoughts your way.

We're right there with you in my house. I despise the day entirely and I always have. It rings so insincere and contrived. The antithesis of romantic, romance and love.

I agree with some of the other moms...ALL holidays are very commercialized now! I do like to celebrate. My husband does a great job of appreciating me year round and we have a date night 1-2 times a month, but we also celebrate on 2/14. We also have a son with a complex heart defect and February is Heart Month. So, I like to decorate my house for both!

Valentine's Day brings back childhood memories for me. My hubby and I go out to eat and we make it fun and memorable for the kids. Personally, I love the days after Valentine's Day--when all the chocolate is 75% off:) Got to have that chocolate:)

i love valentines. and my kids do too. my husband has no say in this. we say i love you and we show love every day to each other. so showing and expressing our feelings on valentines is nothing different than any other day. but it is a day we have a date night with our kids. we don't dine out at night, because we have a schedule and early bedtime but on valentines we make an exception. plus it's a day of love. so hop on board

I wouldnt say I am anti Valentines day, but I think it is stupid. I tell my husband not to get me anything. If I want chocolate I will go buy some. I usually by the kids small box of chocolate, because they hear about it from school. But I agree you should show you love somebody all the time, not one day.

We don't usually do anything but sometimes I get flowers which is sweet. But I have a huge sweet tooth and love this month for the chocolate! So on vday I show my love for Chocolate!

We're out there, we're just overshadowed by the hype. ;)

I prefer to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It has much more meaning to me than a day in February. I'm sure my husband appreciates one less gift he "has" to get. I know I do. I still haven't recovered from Christmas! Plus both of my sons' birthdays are in February so I have other things to do!

Not at all!
DH and I do nothing to recognize the day.

We're taking our kids to the auto show this year, hoping that we'll be in the minority since everyone else goes out.

We're definintely not the "romantic" type. No gifts, cards, etc...
It's just another day. :)

I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. When the kids were little we gave them something small but it's just a commercial holiday to me.

We have never celebrated it either, but we are very happily married. :)

And THIS is why I need to get moving on my husband's gag gift for Valentine's day. Nothing mushy for us!

I felt that way all throughout my 20s - and perhaps some of my 30s. I can't remember now. My husband and I would make fun of Valentines Day. But I matured. Now, we don't go all commercial, but we love making each other cards or something personal as a gift. We do something sweet/kind for each other. And we love giving our children their valentines cards and surprise in the morning...they are always so excited. It's nice to have a day set aside for celebrating LOVE. In the hectic busy days that fly by this reminds us to focus on what is important. :)

So there was one of those sappy, all women want for Valentine's day, if you want to show your woman you love her, jewelry commercials. So I put on my best sappy smile and said you know if you really loved me.....you will give me a hug and kiss on Valentines day. :p

It doesn't make me nauseous but I want nothing more than I get every other day of the year. :)

You are not alone!

My husband and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, so don't feel alone. :) He usually starts of February by saying something like, "Oh, is this the month I'm supposed to waste money on flowers?" and I laugh. Sometimes he'll get me a balloon or a rose from the Dollar Tree, but that's it...it's never actually ON Valentine's...and he hands it to me and says, "Here you go." :) So romantic, huh? Romantic, we are not. :P

We haven't celebrated V-day in almost 8 years - both our kids have birthdays leading up to v-day (my baby will be 3 tomorrow and my big boy will be 8 on Sunday) and it's just a whirl of birthday parties (especially since a lot of our friends have kiddos with bdays around the same time) so it's a non holiday in our house. You are not alone... :-)

I hate V day. I always have. When I was younger, (like in middle school) I would always see all the popular kids with their boyfriends and stuff. It made me sad. Then in H.S. I got over it. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 18 and then it didnt even last very long. When I met my husband I had to tell him that it would be nice if he would get me something. This year he is working. I try to make it fun for our kids though. But, it's never been a nice or fun day for me. I do love those little conversation heart candies though!

I totally concur with PB&J - i get much more sentimental and "mushy" over my wedding anniversary as opposed to V-Day.
in our house it is a school event and that is it. I do think the overt showiness of V-day is a day to overcompensate for those folks who don't shower enough or sincere attention on their SO all the other days of the year - take that - LOL!
(of course I do like all the candy sales on February 15)

When we first got married, we did try to do something for Valentine's Day-maybe because we were so young. But as the years went by and the kids came, eh, another day. Honestly, I feel the same way you do. I do get my kids something but I also buy them special stuff through out the year or try to do something special for them. My sis always asks me "what did he get you?" and the answer is usuaully "nothing" but sometimes if he is out he will get me flowers. He gets me stuff or does something to help around the house or with the kids all year long, not just a few days out of the year.

I am happily married and not a HUGE fan of Valentine's day. (I don't even give sweetest day a thought.) But I do remember when I did and my kids are of that age where they love giving valentine's day cards and doing special things so therefor I do Valentine's for them.

As for my husband, I know he loves me and I love him. I don't need a special day to prove it. We prove it to each other daily. If we get the free time to do dinner or something similar we do, if not, we don't. Either way its not a big deal to me.

We should love and cherish our SO's every day and we do appreciate them, but do we really show it, daily and consistantly? I highly doubt people do... it is good to have a nice reminder day to really make it special. Just like we should celebrate our children every single day, but life gets in the way and that is why we do extra special things on birthdays.

We don't go over the top for Valentines, or buy into much of the commercialism or really 'celebrate' it, but we do want to express our love for each other because to be anti it, means to be anti having a special day in which the community gets together to uplift and share reminders to treat your special someone... special, like we will have a little Valentines Dance and such. I would be sad if my husband didn't acknowledge me on Valentines Day just to prove some anti-commercialism point or whatever. We often need reminders.

I hate valentines day. I make it a point to show my loved ones everyday how much they mean to me. But now that I have kids I have to do the school stuff for them. I'm just thankful they don't make a super big deal out of it for the kids. I now look at it like homework (a little sad). But I'm making my 6 year old write all his classmates names and sign his own for practice. I'll make the kids dessert or something that night (hubby out of town). But it's just another day to me.

BAHAWAHA!

I feel the same way! Always have.

With the exception of my kids, I more or less ignore the whole business.

:)

My husband and I are BOTH anti-valentines day. We hate it. There is nothing romantic about forced, money-driven romance.

My DH and I are both anti Valentine's day. We don't celebrate it. We avoid going out that night. This year I'm working anyways.

I'm with you. It's a day that makes people who are alone feel even more alone. And other people knock themselves out showing someone they care about them, when really they could do that every day, right?

I focus the "valentine" love on my kids. My significant other and I don't bother with it. Seems like a waste of time and money to me.

I feel the same way. I don't like feeling obligated to HAVE to do something. To me it's more meaningful to do something nice for your SO out of the blue for no reason. I've told my husband from day one, to not spend tons of money on flowers. I've never been one for flowers. Yes they are pretty but they die so quickly and you have to throw them out. To me it's a waste of money. For Valentine's the only thing we really do is stuff for our kids which means a few little gifts for them and spending time with them. To me, it's just another day but unfortunately it's implanted in your head that it's Valentines Day - Has your honey done something nice for you today???? Ugh.....

I kind of agree with you. My hubby and I don't really celebrate each other on this day...I don't ever remember giving each other gifts or anything like that. It doesn't have to be a certain day to show each other that we love the other. We do that all the time. We do celebrate by giving our daughters and nieces stuff. Of course, it's just another day that I can buy the 4 of them stuff! I don't really need it to be a certain day!

LOL...if I need an excuse to get something I've been wanting or go somewhere out of town for fun. I have this wonderful holiday to use an excuse. We don't usually celebrate, but I will play the ole Valentines Day card, if needed ;)

We make the day for family. We do something all together with the kids, usually something fun, and leave it at that. Our first valentine's he showed up with a doxen roses for me and a doxen roses for my mom...I don't think I've gotten flowers on Vday since then. I'd much rather him walk in the house with them on a random day than on a day when he feels forced to buy something...plus we are right at the starting point of our heavy travel season. I'd rather save the money!

I don't mind it. My husband and I don't celebrate it because most years it has happened that he's been in a depressed cycle (mood disorder) in February so I would get him something and he would ignore it and me. So we've learned to not plan anything.

The kids really get into it though and I think it's fun. They do stuff at school, make cards for us and their grandparents, and have fun telling people that they love them. It's only a big, high-pressure commercialized thing if you buy into it. For us it's a chance to write out some cards, make and share treats and brighten up what is normally a cold, gray, dreary month with something festive and colorful.

My husband is not from the US, so Valentine's Day has no automatic meaning for him. Over the years, he has started doing things for it (I can vaguely recall a card for me and for our infant son), however we are just as happy seeing this as a day to spend some special time with our kids.

Just to play Devil's Advocate, holidays ARE meaningful. After all, we should be grateful for all our blessings (such as food, family, and friends) every day, however it's valuable to have a day like Thanksgiving to remind us to focus on those things. However, Valentine's Day just doesn't have the same meaning for me. I wasn't upset that my husband didn't buy things or make it a special day when we were first here in the US together, and while I enjoy going out sometime around that date, it isn't essential. Here's to daily appreciation of one's loved ones!

Yes, in a perfect world we should all show our loved ones how much we love them and that they are valued, appreciated and special.

But we're humans.

We forget, we get overwhelmed, we get lazy, we get selfish.

Why not try using the day as a reminder that forces you to really make a statement about how special your loved ones are? You don't have to buy into the commerical aspect of it and if you are really on top of making sure you do this everyday doing it on the 14th will just bring a little extra joy into your loves ones day, and if you've been lacking (we all can forget to be kind sometimes) then you'll really surprise them.

You don't have to love it- but why hate it? I love valentine's day because it is a good day to set aside JUST to focus on how much we love eachother. I try to show my love all the time- but hey- life gets busy... holidays like this are a really great way to get re-focused on the important things in life- which can sometimes turn into a seemingly endless procession of "to-do" lists.

Thanksgiving reminds us that we should be thankful--- forget the turkey and mashed potatoes and blue ribbon pies- and just see a loving family that surrounds you- food on the table- home over your head...

Christmas reminds us that it is better to give than to receive and that love and compassion in great ALL year round.

Valentines day reminds us that what is REALLY important is not the bills, the laundry, how much stuff you have- but that you show love and appreciation for those who share your life. It gives you the opportunity to say "I love you" and rekindle that love if it is lacking.

My husband and I can't afford big fancy gifts... he got me a potted plant and I cleaned the house and dressed up pretty. I don't put a price tag on my love- so of course I don't care if he gets me diamonds and heart shaped boxes... I don't care if he gets me anything- and many years- we have not gotten eachother anything other than TIME together. But for us, it is a holiday that matters because it REMINDS us to set aside the day to kindle our fire together.

And sure we SHOULD do that every day- but really, I don't believe that ANYONE is so freakin' perfect that every single day they shower their family and spouses with all the love and appreciation they should.

So- go ahead and don't celebrate it.... but why hate it? Surely you have better things to do?

-M.

Nope, we don't do anything in my camp. It just doesn't matter to us. We have latched on to it when it lined up with something else going on. Example: We had moved into our house two weeks before and wanted to acknowledge it. I think that another year we bought cards. That's it, though. We don't want to feel any pressure to "perform", so we just don't.