Recently Going Through Divorce & Need Advice!!!!

I am kind of concerned when you say it's not a bitter divorce but he is in the house and you have yours somewhere else. Why did he get to keep the house and I am wondering why you didn't stay with your daughter and have him move out so your daughter could feel secure? I am not trying to judge here I am trying to figure out if you are both worried about her what if she just remains in the home all of the time and you two be flexible about who stays there when.I was divorced some years back and it was a very difficult situation. So I removed us (myself and two children) because it was uncomfortable to remain there. If you have a smooth divorce and are friends, it might be in the best interest of the little girl to have her remain in her home all of the time. She will know that you are a family no matter what whether you explain it or not she already knows you are not together all the time.I know that would be hard on you, but divorce is usually pretty hard anyway on kids so that might help Just a thought.

I am sorry. Regardless of how bitter or amicable this is I know it is hard on you. My divorce was final about 3 weeks ago. I lived with him for almost 10 months before our house sold and I was able to move to my own place. I wis you the best of luck regardless of what you decide. If you need anything or have questions, please feel free to send me a message.

In regards to what you asked, it is a fine line when it comes to dealing with children's anger/sadness/confusion. I have a 2 year old daughter and I talked with a therapist for a long time about this. Here is her advice:

Your son is not happy. He is confused and he might be angry. This is normal. As parents we want to protect and tell them it is OK and don't be sad but how do you feel if someone downplays your emotions or tells you that you shouldn't be mad/angry/sad. You get frustrated and even more upset...so does your child. I was told to tell my daughter that I wish we could go back home as well but unfortunately, mommy and daddy are not going to live together anymore and we are going to have our new house. I am sad that we had to leave our old home and I understand why she is sad but after awhile it won't be so sad anymore.

You want to tell him it is OK to be sad. It is OK to feel whatever he wants to feel. Acknowledge his feelings and then talk to him about how you both can work to make everything work out. This is SO hard to do. I wanted to protect my daughter and tell her not to be sad but I was told not to do this as it isn't best for her.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello
I have just talked to a lawyer not to long ago about my husband and me.
Have you seen a lawyer? They told me for NO reason should I leave the house. He is required to pay for everything like you have always had it until the divorce is final.
Then he can continue to pay for the house or buy your half out. If you decide to sell it u still remain in the house until it sold with him paying.
I would move back in and he is suppose to to leave unless he is taking care of the child then yes you do leave.
Please for all means take you and your child back to where your child is secure and has some kind of normal enviroment.
I hope everything else is will continue to go smooth for all of you.
Talk to a lawyer if you haven't. Its better to be safe then sorry. Specially for your child
Good luck and many prayers and thoughts are going your way

J., I too divorced when my son was 4 years old. He acted out in anger and confusion so i sought the advice of a child therapist who informed me that children act out when they feel lost and out of control. Her advice, be honest, explain the situation in terms she can understand, DO NOT place blame, reassure her both of you love her, and welcome her questions whenever she has them AND answer them, no matter how difficult.

As previous posters have indicated, I agree that it would be in her best interest to stay in the family home if at all possible. If that is not the case find a new long term living situation ASAP as moving around will only make things worse.

Remember, your child trusts you and will take your lead. If you are upbeat and positive about the changes she is likely to not see this as negatively as she would if she senses your pain. Get her excited about decorating her room, meeting new friends, exploring a new neighborhood, having a special dinner with Dad, etc.

Good luck, I know this is a trying time.

Kids are smart. Make sure she knows that she is not at fault at all and that while Mom's love their kids and Dad's love their kids, sometimes Mom's and Dad's don't get along well enough to be able to be in the same house all of the time.

My friend explained to her daughter that it was sort of like a really long time out for adults. Sometime adults need to be separated, sort of like kids at school need to if they fight.