Putting My Son to Bed.

Updated on October 11, 2008
I.M. asks from Tampa, FL
12 answers

I have an 11 year old and a 2 year old, my 2 year old will not go to sleep without someone there with him. He is 2 and 9 months old. He has always slept with someone and now I'm trying to break that habit. It was fine while I wasn't working, but now I have a full-time job and I am ready to put him down by himself at night. I don't know how to do this and if someone could help me by giving me some advice on how to do it that would be very greatly appriciated. Please help.

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N.D.

answers from Tampa on

Try first sleeping in the bed with him for a week. Every morning ask him if he slept in his own bed and reward him for it. I use to give mine stickers of his choice. Then the following week only sit beside him the first two nights with him until he falls asleep. Then transition to sitting at the door, then the sofa.

Also start either reading the same book with them or let them listen to the same CD each time they take a nap or go to bed for the night. That way they can continue to hear the songs while in bed.

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A.G.

answers from Punta Gorda on

Have you tried using your 11 year old as a resource? Maybe he could help you by sitting in the babys room for a little while?

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T.H.

answers from Tampa on

My son is 2 and sleeps in my room sorry can't help I have to wake up 2-3 times a night to check on him. My dau was put in her own room when she was 4

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B.H.

answers from Tampa on

Hi I. M. Talk about sleeping by yourself is a big girl or big boy thing. Take your child to the store to choose what stuffed animal he wants to snuggle with in his own bed. Put the child to bed with the door slightly open. Put the child to bed. He may scream a while, but with this preparation the child will know your aim. And you can still be very nice-just very firm. You may also look for a book at the library that tells of a child sleeping alone in his or her bed all by himself. Have his day care provider talk about it to him in a very positive manner. Good luck. A grandmom

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G.L.

answers from Fort Myers on

I experienced a bit of frustration when transitioning my son (2yrs old) from a crib to a toddler bed. At first he wouldn't want to stay in his bed and kept coming out of his room, often crying. When he used to sleep in his crib, I would stay with him until he dozed off. However, when I moved him to his big boy bed, I stopped staying with him hoping that he would fall asleep by himself. My luck was not so good. It took a few weeks to get him to soothe himself to sleep and this is what I did: 1) With any toddler it is important to make sure he is tired out before bedtime. Whether it's playing outside, do something physical with him so that he can burn all his energy. 2) A product that really helped me is the Homedics Soundspa Lullaby. I knew nothing about this miracle machine until I learned(after my child was 2 yrs old)that all of my friends were utilizing this with their child since birth! This machine plays lullabys, soothing sounds and has a projector that displays images on the ceiling or wall. It comes with 3 different image discs but my son's favorite is the nursery rhyme one. Best of it all, it has a timer..15mins, 30mins, etc..My son just watches the images on the ceiling until he falls asleep by himself. I assume that it also doesn't make him feel so lonely. I highly recommend that you get this. I bought mine at Bed Bath and Beyond for around $20. I really hope that this helps you. I completely understand your frustration. It just takes a little time and effort and it will fall into place. My son is now a sound sleeper from start to finish : )

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J.C.

answers from Fort Myers on

Well my daughter is 13 months and I had the same issue, I let her sleep with me and we would rock her to sleep every night etc. I thought that maybe she had a sleep disorder because she would never sleep through the night and not nap during the day unless I put her in the stroller and pushed her to sleep so I asked her Ped about it. He told me I'd never given her permission to learn how to fall asleep on her own. By rocking her and pushing her and puting her in my bed I was sending the message, "let me know when you are awake so I can help you get to sleep" and with that he suggested I create a bed time routine and a set bed time every night consistently. If she never learned to sleep on her own, she'd never sleep through the night and never develop correct and healthy sleep habits. I told him that if i left her alone she'd SCREAM - and I don't mean pout- but SCREAM so loud that it was as if she'd fallen out of the crib and cracked open her skull.- He assured me that thouse were screams of fustration and crankiness and that the first night it would be BAD; the 2nd night it'd be WORSE; the third night it would be bad like the 1st night and by the 4th night she'd merely pout for a few minutes about it.

So I began a bathtime-booktime-bedtime routine and the Dr. was right-the first few nights were heartbreaking BUT my daughter slept ALL NIGHT in a whole year of being alive she had N_E_V_E_R slept ALL night!!! It is only about the 2nd and a half week with into this new routine but now when we lay her down and tell her good night, she accepts the fact that it is bed time in HER crib in HER room and she goes to sleep ALL night ever since.

I was able to break a child who NEVER slept in her crib and NEVER slept all night with this. Your kid is 2, but it could work for him too maybe?

Seriously, look up my previous posts- ALL about sleep trouble and nothing has worked but this!
@}~>~~

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H.T.

answers from Tampa on

Check out the Floppy Sleep Game book at your local library. It had some great advice and a neat CD that comes with it with music and activities to gradually help your child go to bed. I don't recall the advice for a 2 year old, but I used the CD and some of the techniques for my then 3.5 year old and it made it much easier. Of course, we also did a reward chart for her, but she was able to reason more at that age than a 2 year old will be. But the book has a silly name, but great advice and the CD fun in my mind. Good luck! I've been there, so I know your frustration. Hang in there.

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H.B.

answers from Tampa on

Wow, I am sometimes appalled at some of the responses that moms on here get from other moms that are very old-fashioned and close-minded to more modern parenting techniques. Take their advice with a grain of salt... You have done a wonderfl job so far and have given your son a wonderful gift of being able to sleep with you for his first 2 years. You have created such a close, strong bond and relationship that you may not realize, but would have not been possible with him far away from you, alone at night. Pat yourself on the back...

I would recommend making the transition and calm and gradual as possible, so as not to cause alot of insecurity and loss of closeness and trust in you. No punishment, criticism, getting upset and try to be understanding to his emotions, frustration and confusion as to why now this is changing. Remember that in his eyes, he is being pushed away. Treat it more like a 'graduation' or reward that he gets his own room, bed, sheets, pillow, nite-lite, etc...and although these may seem great to us, he may still feel scared and alone. Maybe sleep in there on an air mattress for a while until he is comfy or start even slower with him in a bed in your room, then move it to his room after a few months. Slow and gradual will usually be easier, rather than a battle for all.

I wish you all the best...and pray for keeping a super relationship through the transition. Alot of kids aren't ready for their own bed till about 3, so go slow!

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D.R.

answers from Tampa on

Hi I., my name is D. and I have been looking for a full time job to stay at home, I have a 8yo boy, but I am not working but would like to. Most of the jobs I see is either 24/7 call center and either I have to much experience or not enough. can you help me out, can you share some information about your work at home or if you know of any I can seek out.
For your son have you tried a night light, or maybe just beening there unitl he falls a sleep. I had the same problems with my boy and even now sometimes he wants to sleep with me, but I can't let him. I think at time he will be ok. thanks for you info. I wish you luck.

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

First of you broke the rules by letting him sleep with you in the first place. He should have been sleeping in his own bed all along. Too late for that. What you can try is a night light, alarm clock that makes the ticking sound, music, a favorite toy. Also lay in bed with him until he goes to sleep. Maybe start a bedtime ritual of brushing teeth, reading a book, etc..........Good Luck!

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M.B.

answers from Tampa on

Encourage new routines....big boy bed, etc. New sheets whatever it takes. Then you may have to sleep next to him until he falls asleep at start. Kids at this age have more anxiety and don't feel the space of their bodies in the dark. Until about age 5, it is hard to children to fall asleep by themselves. They feel like they are literally "falling" asleep. That's why they like their little bodies touching yours. It helps them feel where they are at.

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T.G.

answers from Tampa on

What great suggestions! (I have to find that sound machine). I just wanted to add not to expect things to go very well during the transition. Many times parents have a bad night while changing from a bad habit and go right back to the old routine. That is definitely a one step forward ten steps back problem.

When transitioning my little ones to a toddler bed I would pat their back gently while they tried going to sleep. Do NOT goof around, do not tickle. Child lays while mom rubs the back or belly gently with music playing. If your child goofs around and won't lay there then tell him you will leave the room. Make you being there a privilege.

I also did this for a baby I cared for in my home. Naps were so difficult because she slept in bed with Mom at home so she hated the crib when she came to me. But I would rub her back until she went to sleep. Sometimes she would cry because she was in the crib and cry herself to sleep even though I was rubbing her back. In the beginning it would take an hour to get her to sleep. Then a little less and less each day. You will find the same for your son. The first couple nights you may be in there quite a while before he is definitely asleep. But as the week goes on you will be able to stop and leave before he is asleep. And eventually he will just go on his own.

And remember, if he gets up in the middle of the night DON'T let him go to your bed! Attend to his needs then rub his back gently until he is asleep again. Good luck and take care!

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