Sleeping in Own Bed - Huntington, WV

You're not the only one who has ever let this happen -- my suggestion would be to put him in "his" bed & uncomfortable as it may be, you sleep on the floor beside him so he can become comfortable in his bed. One tip, see if there is anything in his room that might frighten him -- my son had a clothing hamper with a big bunny face on it and after a while, we found out the big bunny face wasn't very friendly looking at night!
Good luck,
Janet

Find the book The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers, Elizabeth Pantley. She has great solutions for co-sleepers to transition,

Oh, J., I'm sorry to say it's time for tough love from mommy! I did the same thing with my three when dad was at work or deployed. The only thing I can tell you is to sit him down and tell him it's time to be a big boy and sleep in his bed. Start a routine, bath, brushing teeth, prayers(if you're a family that does this)and straight to bed. Do this on a couple of nights that you don't have to work the next day...he'll have you up late crying. Know this, it's not psychologically abusive and he is still safe and knows it. When he gets up, put him back to his big boy bed. Eventually he'll cry himself to sleep. You'll have to be consistant, my yucky word, and do this every night. For the first few nights, he'll cry and break your heart. After that, he'll know you mean business and will learn to stay in his bed. My son even came to my bed in the middle of the night, but after a few nights of walking him back to his room, he got the picture. Now if he needs me he comes in but when I offer for him to sleep with me he says, no i want my bed...he's 4. Again you have to be consistant and no matter how tired YOU are, you have to stick with it! You'll appreciate you're "time alone" once it's done! Good luck and I wish you both the best! www.J..myarbonne.com if you want to chat!

Well when it comes right down to it at 18 he will no longer need a sippy cup, a diaper, a kiss from mommy at school and a part of your bed. You'll send him off into the big, big world and cry for two weeks straight. YOu'll wish he were 2 again.
We had that same bed. I think that having a good bedtime routine is key and sitting in his room while he falls asleep is a great idea. If he comes into your bed at night I wouldn't be strong enough to take him back into his room and would just roll over. I don't even wake up anymore when mine are in bed with me.
I have 4 kids and my 20 year old is just fine. He was in and out of our bed until 5. The girls lasted until 3, sometimes in their bed, sometimes in ours. My youngest is having the hardest time. He just turned 8 and Daddy has been deployed for 22 of the last 30 months. So he is in the bed quite a few mornings when I wake up. I always start him in his own bed though.
Since you want your bed back try to get him to fall asleep in his bed. THat's a start anyway. Good luck.

Your son has to want to be a "big boy". Why don't you try putting his bed next to yours? A bit of a tight squeeze for a while, but once he realizes you are still there and he likes having his own bed, maybe you can then work on putting his farther from yours, into the hallway, and in his bedroom. Your son will let you know. My daughter slept with us too, and last year we got her a princess bed. She LOVED it, but wouldn't use it. I put it next to my bed, about 2ft away, and she was excited to sleep there. It made her feel very big girl and independent, but also secure that I was right there. I also put her little shelf next to her bed with her books, night light, and some babies. This got her into the habit of reaching for her books on her own and reading to herself in her bed. Or, if she needed a snuggle, to reach over and grab her baby or stuff animal. That shelf stays with the bed when you move into their room. For us, it was the best thing ever. My daughter is a lover like her daddy- she loves to snuggle. This was a hard thing for our family! (She still gets up and climbs into my bed in the early morning sometimes!). Hope this helps!

If you haven't tried putting his new bed right next to yours, try that, if there's room. Once he gets used to sleeping right next to you in his own bed, try leaving a little aisle between the two beds, then eventuallymove his bed back into his own room. Or try letting him sleep with a cat or dog... real, stuffed won't do, they need to snuggle up to something soft and warm with a heartbeat.
Another alternative is for you to lie down with him, pretend to sleep, then toss and turn "in your sleep" (gentley) shoving him to the very edge, and bumping him with your arms and legs... in short make him as uncomfortable sleeping with you, as you are with him.
Still another alternative is to lie down with him in his bed until he falls asleep, then go into your own room, or sleep in his bed and let him have your bed to himself. Act like you're having such a good time in his bed that he will want to switch beds with you.
Where there's a will, there's a way. I have 7 kids, and the same method didn't work for all. but each one of these methods worked for at least one of my kids.

Hey J. H,--it can be done but with a little bit of patience. I was in the same situation with my little one except she slept with me and my hubby for 5 years!!!But here's what I did and succeeded. I start making a big deal about her bed, I took a picture of her in her bed to send to grandma/grandpa--who commented positively about the bed. I took naps in the bed with her until she fell asleep then I would go into my room. She had a cousin to sleep over with her in her bed then a night I started falling asleep in her bed with her until she fell asleep then I would go into my room. At times, she would get up in the middle of the night and come into my room then I would go back into her room with her and fall back asleep with her, in her bed. It will finally happen but please be patient. Make sure that all of his favorite toys or stuff animals are all in his bed with him. In the mornings, help him to make up "his bed".Make a big deal about his bed, frame the pictures of him in his bed, tell everyone around him to comment on his big boy bed. Good Luck and be Blessed.

My oldest (4-1/2 now) slept in our bed almost from the very beginning. We worked opposite shifts and it was easier for ME to have him right beside me and not have to get up to get him to nurse.

Anyway, I rocked him to sleep every night. As he got older, I started putting him in HIS bed. At some point, he would wake in the middle of the night and come back to our bed. I tried putting him back in his bed, but he wouldn't stay. At 2 in the morning, I wasn't going to fight it. He'd sleep the first half the night in his bed, the 2nd half in ours.

After a while, every now and then, he'd sleep the whole night in his bed. Now, he rarely ever comes to our bed. He still sits with me to go to sleep, then he is carried to his bed. He CAN go to sleep on his own, but this time is part of our one on one time after the baby has gone to bed.

I personally don't believe in letting a child crying it out. I just could never do it. Not saying that it is wrong, it just wasn't for us. My line of thinking on this was/is: It was my decision to bring him to my bed, why should he be "punished" (for lack of a better word) or suffer from me deciding I didn't want him in bed?. So we went about it a different way with waiting till he was asleep and then putting him in bed. If I tried to put him down before he was completely asleep, he would wake right back up and wouldn't stay in his bed. However, if I waited till he was completely asleep, he'd stay there for several hours. The time got longer and longer till he was in his bed all night long.

Good luck!

Hey there,
In responce to your question... Just want you to remember who is MOM! Know that you are doing the best job possible. It will help him as an individual and also help you now and in the future when you tough it out. I love the idea of a cool new car bed!!!!Just give him a great book and or kiddie flashlight and tell him after you read the story you will be back to check on him later... That works for us anyway! Usually when you check on him he will be asleep. What precious little people.
I am sure that you are doing a great job... it is never easy rasing little ones.Good Luck on the sleeping disipline!

My son has wanted to sleep in our bed too. He has a few times. He got to the point where every night he would give us a hard time about sleeping in his own bed. Finally, we came to a compromise with him. I put his bed beside our bed. He will still sleep beside us, but we still have our space!

Is a crib still in his room? If there is then you can wean him from your bed in a more responsible way. I guess you know they shouldn't walk before they crawl, so, to think they'll go from your cozy bed to their own bed isn't going to work. I suggest you put him in his crib and do what is necessary to allow him to calm himself down in order to get a good night sleep. Has he ever slept in a crib? That's the ideal transition to a big boy bed, and I don't envy you to have to deal with this now. If he has a crib, you will have to take those hard steps of listening to him cry himself to sleep..each night it should be less and less time to accomplish this. The nightly ritual of bedtime prayers and stories before bedtime sometimes help calm them as well. But, with being his bed partner, this could take longer and be more grueling than experienced at an earlier age of 6 months with this kind of transition. Usually at the age you brought him into your bed (6 months) is when a parent allows them to calm themselves down before sleep in their crib. You know you'll have to do this, I'm sure you do, it's just not going to be easy. But, "easy" just isn't what we do when we teach our children anything in life. Taking the easy way only makes it that much harder on everyone later in life. I suspect that was what happened when he turned 6 months, it was easier to bring him into bed than try to allow him to calm down and sleep alone. I also don't think he's old enough to be in a big boy bed....those crib bars are there to keep him safe from leaving his bed while we sleep. Good luck J., please don't think what I've said was to hurt your feelings. I know how hard it must be for a single working mother to get some much needed sleep at night. Besides, I bet it was so comforting to have that sweet baby in your bed at night. I just hope that his crib is handy, it should only take a couple hard weeks to get him to sleep alone.

Hi J.,

Our daughter (first girl after 3 boys) is almost 6 and we just broke the bed barrier! With her 3 brothers all sharing a room she didn't like being in a room all alone. If we put one of her brothers in her room with her she would be fine, but not alone. Even if she fell asleep in her room alone she would wake up in our bed! A friend of mine had given us a 10 CD set of Bible Stories that she bought at the dollar store. I now tuck her into HER bed and turn on a cd and she LOVES to listen to the stories. I also got a 3 x 5 index card and told her she would get a star or a sticker for every time she stayed in her bed the entire night. She will do just about anything for stickers. I told her after 7 stickers I would take to the dollar store to get a little special prize. My suggestion would be to try a CD (maybe even lullabye music) and offer a BIG BOY prize first thing when he wakes up in the morning. Good Luck, T.

We purchased bunkbeds for our sons, ages 2,5. The younger always wanted to sleep in our bed. One night my husband was being pushed out of our bed so he took his pillow and slept in the lower bunk bed. It was one with double on bottom and single on top. The 2 year old was so mad that Daddy slept in his bed that he started sleeping there. I know the race car bed is probably small but it might be worth a try. The other thing you could try is to say your going to give the bed away since he is not going to sleep in it. Good Luck!

I would start by asking him why he thinks he needs to sleep with you and what will help him to sleep in his own bed. Kids really aren't stupid and he will know that you care about his feelings. It may be as easy as he's scared to be alone or afraid of the dark. Easy fixs without drama. If it's just habit then try letting him start out in your bed and as he's drifting off but before he's asleep put him in his bed and tell him if he needs you you are still available. My son went through this a few years ago. The key is to remember it took a year and a half to form this habit your not going to break it in one night. You are going to have to be strong and not give in. If you do you'll start all over and that really stinks. I wish you all the luck in fixing this.

HI:) so far this had not been a problem for my three children. from birth to six months we would sleep on a mattress in the living room away from my husband because he is a very light sleeper. and at six months they got put in a bassinett, then into their own crib then into a toddler bed. SO, maybe if you put him in his bed and sleep on his floor next to his bed the first couple of nights, and then on the third or fourth night only stay till he is asleep, pretend you are also asleep, then go to your bed. I think this should help. maybe put a baby monitor in there so you can hear if he wakes in the middle of the night, but it shouldn't be a problem. and just keep reminding him what a big boy his is and how proud of him you are for sleeping in his bed, like a big boy:)
hope this helps. this is kind of what my sister did with her child, except they only had one bed room at that time, so it was easier for the little one to start staying in her own crib since it was just six feet away from her mommy:)
LJ:)

I did the same thing with my daughter and had the same resistance. I talked to her about sleeping in her big girl bed throughout the day. At night, I would read her a story and have her choose her favorite animal to sleep with her. She never slept with teddy before that, but it helped. It isn't easy and in the beginning, you just have to leave them in the room, crying. He will get used to it though. It took some time and patience, it's so easy to let guilt get the best of you! After a while, we made it one of her jobs in the house. I didn't reward her with "stuff", but I did praise her for being such a big girl. Hang in there, because once you have your bed back, you'll be grateful for the work!
Best of luck, from one single mom to another!

Just a suggestion because I have never had that problem. I put mine in her own bed in her room when she was 2 weeks old.
But.... this makes sense to me.... see what you think.
He is use to sleeping WITH YOU, right?
You want him in his bed, in his room, right?
BUT... you have to gradually do it... make sense?
Why not give up a couple of your nights, whether it is on the weekend or during the week... which ever will work best for you and it may even take both... or a week long,.....
but make him sleep in his bed but you sleep with him in that bed. (I know it won;t be comfortable at all for you)
I say sleep with him all night long because if he wakes up and you aren't there, that might really start something.... trust issues... then he may not fall asleep on purpose. But if you show him you will be there the next morning and throughout the night when he wakes, he will not worry about falling asleep. Then after a few nights of that, then you can start getting up after he falls asleep and go to your bed. Pretty soon, he is sleeping in his bed, in his room and not even realizing it. Eventually leading to not caring if you are there or not.
I know it sounds simple..... and I understand that it is probably harder to do than to listen to someone tell you what to do.
Like I said, only a suggestion that makes sense to me.
Good luck. I hope you regain your bed and a good nights sleep soon.

Please don't feel guilty for letting your child sleep with you. Cosleeping is a valid parenting style that many experts recommend. That said we transitioned our son when he was 19 months. His bed is a full size bed, so our bedtime routine was we layed down together, read several books and then sing until he went to sleep. If he got up n the middle of the night he come into our bed. After a few days he was sleeping through the night in his own bed. From that point on if he woke up we would take him back to his bed and help him back to sleep. This worked great until his sister was born. Be aware that any big life change can make this transition difficult.

One of the many down-falls of being a full-time working mother is the lack of sleep we get when our babies are little. The lack of sleep often causes us to put our babies in the bed with us just so we can get any amount of sleep. When we do this it in turns causes a habit that is very hard to break. From experience let me say, it's a hard habit to break but it can be broken. It will take weeks to get your little one to sleep by himself. I have an 8 year old and he slept with me and dad until he was three. Good for you for getting him out of your bed at two. Here's what you have to do. Put him to bed in his bed. Tell him you are going to stay with him. You do not get in the bed with him but you sit in the floor in the bed beside him. Do not look at him or talk to him. Do this for a week. After about a week move closer to the door of his bedroom using the same technique. Put him to bed and then sit in the floor close to the door and do not look at him or talk with him. When he falls asleep leave his room. After a week, move outside his door and repeat the technique. Leave the door open and let him see you but still do not talk or look at him. After a week put him to bed and leave the room. A key thing to remember with this technique is not to prolong bedtime by entertaining his crying annd whining. If he gets out of be the first week, put him to bed without talking or looking at him. The first night may be the longest night but after he finds out you mean business he will get the idea and stay in bed. This takes a lot of patients and determination. But if you do this you will have your little one sleeping in his bed in a few weeks. Good luck.

Let him fall asleep in your bed and then gently move him into his new bed. He will wake up in the morning in his bed and start to get used to it. If he wakes up in the middle of the night let him sleep with you. Then move him to his own bed in the morning when you wake up so that he is in his own bed in the morning. He will slowly transition to his own bed.

My first daughter slept in bed with us since she was born. (Yes, we were also aware that it was a bad habit...but it was just easier!) We also got her her own bed when she was 2. At first she would fall asleep in our bed, then we would move her to her own bed, or we would lay down with her at night in her bed until she fell asleep. She would still wake up at night and come to our bed, and at that point I would take her back to her room and lay down with her there. (although we got her a full bed, which is probably much easier to lay down in than a race car bed!)Eventually she would wake up less at night, and the musical beds finally stopped.