Bed Time Woes - Marlborough,MA

Updated on March 24, 2009
J.E. asks from Marlborough, MA
17 answers

So ladies, I am hoping once again I can rely on you for some helpful advice. :) We just recently put our 26 month old into a "big girl" toddler bed...Since then, no one has slept the whole night through and she is waking up earlier than usual in between 6 and 6:30...now if she slept through the night, I wouldn't have any issues with her getting up earlier than usual and also if she went down at her usual bed time which is in between 7:30 and 8pm. She now is finally falling asleep around 9:30-10pm most nights. My husband for the past 10wks has had to work in KY Mon-Thurs. leaving me to be with our two girls and I am also newly pregnant so I'm exhausted as it is...this middle of the night waking is driving us insane...my poor husband comes up thinking he'll be able to "sleep well" and we are constantly disturbed in the middle of the night and waking up at the crack of dawn as well. :( Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated. We've tried the "cry it out" method but she is soooo loud she ends up waking our 6 year old who NEEDS her sleep because she has AM kindergarten. She also can open her door but we have a gate blocking her from the stairs but of course her voice echos off of the stairway making her about 10 times more loud. We've tried just placing her back into bed with out saying a word, that works somewhat but she still wakes or gets up about 10 more times before just calling it quits...we are at our whits end here...we all need our sleep including our little one...HHHEEEELLLLPPPP PLEASE! :) Also we know she has a bunch of teeth coming in too that have been bothering her so we think that may be part of the issue but again any and all suggestions are more than welcome.

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So What Happened?

Hi Moms,
Thanks already for all of the great responses. To answer a few questions: Yes, she was able to climb out of her crib, she doesn't vocalize any other complaints right now other than her teeth to answer Liz S.'s questions, she slept in the bed the first 2 nights just fine but then started having "issues." Last night she actually slept the whole night through...small world! :) We are not "giving" into her as much and we'd have the same bedtime trouble (getting her down) when she was in her crib. There is no doubt that the whole "big bed" thing is scary for a little one, in her case it was neccessary as we call her our "danger dog" and she would have found a way to hurt herself in her crib if she was still in it. She has no issue with trying new things and exploring. We unfortunately can't put a latch or anything like that on her door to prevent her from opening it, we live in an older house that has the origianl "barn" style type door on it so we can't put something on the knob to prevent her from opening it because it's more of a latch. We are just going to stick to our guns and instead of being attentive to her all 50 times, we'll wait it out for the 5, 7, etc. minutes... that seemed to work the first time when we were having issues with her falling asleep in her crib. She may have been a little too young to start in a toddler bed, but we wanted her safe and her jumping out of her crib onto her hard wood floor just isn't safe. Thanks again mamas, you rock! :) Oh and the kicker of this whole thing, I've suggested putting the crib back together but since it has now gone through two children, when diassembling it, my husband stripped something some how and we can't put it back together safely! :( Go figure!

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

HI J.,

I just wanted to add one more thing. When my daughter was a little one.....we went shopping for a baby doll for her care for. She put the baby doll to bed with her, slept all the time with her. It did help us get that much needed sleep.

D

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K.K.

answers from Boston on

We have a similar issue in our house. We had to take my daughter out of her crib in January (at 22 mo old) because she was climbing out. She was sleeping fine, and now it has taken almost 3 months, but she is sleeping through the night most of the time. But she will not sleep in her bed. She has to sleep on the floor next to her bed, and next to her oversided stuffed animal up against her. We even put her bed exactly where her crib was, that didn't work. She still will not sleep in her bed. Maybe your daughter would like the floor better? It's not the best solution, but my son did the same thing. Then one night just decided it was time to sleep in his new bed. Maybe you could put a child proof knob on the inside of her door so she doesn't open the door and scream out into the hall. Just a suggestion.
Good luck! I know it's hard.

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R.D.

answers from Boston on

I put a safety cover on the doorknob so my son couldn't open the door. I also have to unscrew the light bulbs b/c my son knew how to do that too. How about getting bed tent or canopy so it feels a little more like the crib and secure. I'd probably start on a friday night and do a" ferber approach" Put her down, let her cry 10 min, go put her back in bed nicely with a kiss but no talking (so she doesn't think it's a punishment), then wait 20 min, then put her back, then 30 min, then an hour etc.
Also, maybe try giving her a flashlight and a book. My son doesn't go to sleep right away all the time but he is content when we put him in his room.

Good luck and congrats on #3!!

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N.R.

answers from Boston on

I know your pain!! We went through the same thing with both our kids at that age. Is she just 2? You mentioned that you are newly pregnant so if you have a lot of time before the new baby I would suggest maybe she is not ready for a toddler bed and put her back in the crib!

Get through the 1st trimester exhaustion phase and try transistioning her then.

Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from New London on

Was she getting too big for her crib? Many people leave their kids in cribs until they are almost 3. perhaps she isn't ready for a toddler bed yet? Is the mattress different? Is it uncomfortable? Is it soft enough? Have you tried giving her tylenol? Is she eating enough in the evening? Does she say why she is waking up in the middle of the night? is she scared? Hungry? need to to to the bathroom? thirsty?

Yehhh!! I'm so glad she slept last night!! But I bet you still didn't sleep through. It is such a habit to wake up all night for us moms. I still wake up two times a night to check on my son and make sure he has blankets on him. I don't think I will ever sleep through the night again. Oh well. Just crossing my fingers for you that it gets easier. Sounds like it will!! Best wishes to you!

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D.H.

answers from Lewiston on

It sounds like you're doing great stuff and its just a phase that you all will get through in due time. We just went through this with our two year to prepare for the new baby coming, and we had ups and downs, too. We got her the night light at Target.com called the Mobi Tykelite that is a durable glowing light that they can sleep with at night. She loves it and she takes it to bed with her and calls it the "snowman."Just another idea in case the new bed and darkness is a bother! Good luck and keep it up!!

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S.K.

answers from New London on

When we switched my first to a toddler bed she had so much trouble sleeping- just like you are describing. It turns out she had trouble keeping her legs inside the open ends of the toddler bed. Even before she fell asleep she'd roll her legs off the side and feel uncomfortable. She couldn't really vocalize this to us- but I spied a bit to see what the problem was.
We bought her a twin size bed and put on a full side rail so there was no way she'd roll out. This worked- I guess she just needed more room after being confined so well in a crib.
My second daughter still sleeps in her toddler bed. She's now 4.5 and doesn't want to get rid of her "little bed". I think she just sleeps like a rock and never moves so the size isn't an issue for her.
I do remember the second child having trouble settling down for the first couple of nights in her new bed. I am thinking now that a good dose of benedryl for the first few nights would have mellowed her enough to settle down for the night!
Good luck,
S.

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E.L.

answers from Providence on

Hi J.,
My daughter just turned 3 y.o. and still sleeping in her crib because she likes it. She did learn to climb out of her crib but we nipped that in the bud by putting a gate at her doorway so she cannot get out of her room. She did not like that one bit and since has stayed in her crib despite being able to. She will soon be getting her big girl bed but perhaps your little one isn't ready for a big bed yet. Unless you are switching her in the anticipation of the new baby needing the crib, I might put her back in the crib and try again in a couple of months. Good luck and I hope you get some rest soon.

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

J.,
That sounds exactly what we went through, minus me being pregnant & our daughter was 24 mts though. After struggling, we too decided she was too young for her toddler bed. When we consulted our favourite sleeping book (Good Night Sleep Tight by Kim West) she suggested leaving them in their crib until age four. WHen we do try it again I think I will look into a crib rail before I make the transition. Good Luck.
K.

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M.G.

answers from Boston on

J.-
Hi. how about putting a gate on her door and telling her if she gets up, she can play quietly in her room. we actually bought my daughter a special doll house just for her room to keep her in there in the morning..it was not to be taken out of the room, or put in the play room even when freinds came over, ect.. We always used the bedrooms for sleep only and not play, so it is really just for "early" mornings..Good luck..

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M.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,

I've said this a couple of times in response to sleep questions and I don't want to bore everyone with the same answer, but . . . the thing that works the best for us to try to get everyone in the house a good night's sleep even when one child is having some sleep problems is a white noise machine or loud humidifier in the kids' bedrooms. They never hear each other. Might help your husband, too! Good luck! Sleep problems are the worst!

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K.S.

answers from Boston on

The same thing happened to me with my daughter. I would pick her up and put her in her bed again without saying a word....EVERY time. It didn't seem like it made a difference but eventually she stopped. Still to this day though...it's been almost a year...she might get out of bed in the middle of the night. Good Luck!

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L.P.

answers from Boston on

I would try going back to the crib. Seriously. My older two each stayed in the crib until they were 3, and the baby will as well. In fact, my son was not quite ready to give it up even at three. I think it provided a sense of safety and security he didn't feel in his "big boy bed". He began to wake up more and resist bedtime and when I suggested that maybe we needed to go back to the baby bed he agreed! So he had a little more time to mature before he was ready, too.

For what it's worth, we had a new baby before he was ready to give up the crib, too, but it wasn't a big deal. The baby slept comfortably in the bassinet and then the bottom of the pack-n-play for several months. When our boy was finally ready to sleep in his big bed the baby had no problem transitioning to sleeping in the crib.

Good luck! Sleep is too valuable to give up if you can help it--especially when you're getting ready for those sleepless newborn months again!

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L.O.

answers from Boston on

I would try a reward chart - but, to start a habit you need to do something for about 3 or 4 weeks - so make the chart for at least 21 days - which means it's going to have to be a reward in the end that is something completely big and exciting that she's been dying for. Make it very clear to her that she needs to stay in bed and not make noises that wake people or she won't get a sticker, "x", whatever you want to fill in the chart with. And make it especially clear what her reward is going to end up being - put a picture of the reward on the reward chart so she knows what she is working toward and encourage her over and over that she can earn it. By the time she actually fills the chart, she should be in the habit. Good luck.

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K.P.

answers from York on

My daughter did the same thing at the same age! I had her in a regular twin size bed since her sister needed the crib (she was 4 months old) and she was potty training and needed to get to the bathroom. Nights were horrible. Screaming for hours and nothing worked. This is the child who would ask to go to bed!!! I finally called her pedi who said that because her naps were getting later (2pm - 4pm) that she wasn't ready for bed at 7 - 8. So, I did the only thing I could do - give up her nap. Since then she goes to bed very nicely - I do have to lay with her until she falls asleep. It is about 10 minutes but I don't recommend it if you don't have to. We let her crawl into bed with us at 4ish if she wakes up but other than that it has been fine. That is my story! Hope it helps.

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K.D.

answers from Providence on

hi J.,
that is so discouraging when you have a great routine and then a change like a bed throws it all topsy turvy. either restablish a new routine....and incentive if you stay in bed all night we will do this or jelly beans in a jar have a jelly bean party at the end of the week or the next morning. Or put her back in her crib and purchase a crib tent to keep her safe even borrow a crib for a short period of time just to get you throught the next year before the new baby comes. make sure you give her something for those teeth before bed to prevent any discomfort and hopefully make her sleep more soundly mother of 14 11 9 and 23 mths(she started climbing out of her crib at 16 mths we purchased a crib tent and we are back to sleeping better yeah!!! good luck K. D

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

Well I must ask if she was sleeping so good before why on earth did you take her out of her crib and into a bed my suggestion is put the crib back up. If my little guy hadn't been trying to climb out of his crib he would still be sleeping in it.

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