Problems with 6Yo Messing in His Pants

Updated on December 14, 2006
C.W. asks from Cherryvale, KS
11 answers

Ok so I am alittle confused on what to do here. My 6 year old son has never had a problem with messing himself since he was 2 1/2. Not even at night, he has never wet the bed. Just recently, he has messed in his pants twice. I asked him why, and he told me he could not make it in time?? It was not diarea, so I cannot understand how he could "not make it in time". I am completly at a loss as to how to deal with this, and what could be causeing this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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So What Happened?

I would like to thank everyone with thier responces. I had made him clean up after himself, and so far no more accidents, but it has only been a few days. I had a talk with him about school. He said that a few of the boys did not want to play with him (he doesnt know how to play soccer, but other than that everything was going good. My next step is going to be talking with his teacher to see if he is leaving anything out.

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J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter did the same thing when she was 5. She would tell me that she couldn't make it in time, but there is a bathroom right beside her bedroom, and another one right beside her toy room. She was just too busy playing and didn't want to take time out to go to the bathroom. I told her that if she didn't make time to go to the bathroom that she wouldn't be allowed to play with her toys. It took a few warnings, but then there were no more problems. It seemed like if there were consequences for her actions, then she was more willing to listen. Best of luck - J.

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L.D.

answers from Kansas City on

My son is 9-1/2 and he still has accidents on a rare occasion. He hit a certain age, and he would be off doing something he didn't want to stop (like playing one of his video games or outside with friends). I think he truly believes he can hold it indefinitely, but then has an accident. I have three different friends with boys the same age group who all have the same issue. We now have a rule that if he messes himself, he has to go clean himself and rinse his underwear in the toilet, then put them and his pants in the washer. While this hasn't stopped the habbit completely, he has to own his behavior and make the conscious choice of whether he wants to run to the bathroom in time, or waste time cleaning himself and his clothes. It takes the stress off us having to deal with it.

Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Topeka on

My step brother in laws son did that and it turned out he was lactose intolerant. you might take him to the doctor and have him tested.

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L.

answers from St. Louis on

C. - I have been experiencing something similar with my 5 year old son. He hasn't messed in his pants but lately he has done a few very strange things with regards to going to the bathroom. (This is going to sound very weird but for instance he has pooped in the bathroom trash can and peed in the sink, and has been trying to put on his brother's (age 2) diaper, saying he says he wants to be a baby again.)
Maybe what your son is going through is more psycological than physical...maybe there is a hint of jealousy when he sees his siblings getting more attention because they are littler, so he doesn't try hard to get to the bathroom knowing you'll be there to clean him up.
Explaining that his actions were not appropriate, then spending a little extra one-on-one time with him worked with my son. I think the most important thing is to react in a way so he doesn't feel ashamed, which it sounds like you are doing.
Good luck to you!!

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

It could be the signs of a kidney/bladder infection as well. It might me worth a trip to the doctor just to make sure.

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C.P.

answers from Joplin on

my son did that as well when he was younger, he would wait to the last minute, and then go to the bathroom, but sometimes when he waited to long he wouldnt make it to the bathroom, or he would get distracted playin or watching tv that he wouldnt make it. try reminding him to go every couple of hours. Hope this helps!!

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M.J.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi C.,

I have a son who is almost 8. Up until he was 7, he would occasionally wet his pants. He always told me the same thing. "I couldn't make it in time". I found that he would be too busy playing and just wouldn't go to the restroom. I told him to make sure he would go right when he felt the urge. He did mess in his pants once. I still find him doing the "pee" dance once in a while and I'll ask him if he needs to go. Usually he does. Hopefully this helps.

M.

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M.R.

answers from Tulsa on

My son who is almost 6 has started doing this just recently. He has problems with his kidneys so I thought that was the problem, but after numerous trips to the Dr, we have found out that he is just too "busy" to go. What has worked for us is to make him go to the bathroom every 2hrs, no matter what is going on. At least this makes him think about needing to go, even if he doesnt. Dont know if it will work for you, but it has worked great for him. I have even spoke with his teacher about this and she is allowing him to go anytime he needs to use the restroom. Let me know if this works!!

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B.S.

answers from Topeka on

Maybe it is your son is feeling like you are not spending enough time with him, maybe this is a cry for attention. Maybe he feels by having accidents he gets attention from you, wether it is good or bad, children don't care it's attention. It could also be that he is just not going because he is busy playing and doesn't want to stop. I would sit down and have a long talk to him and see what exactly is going on and why he is acting like this.

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M.M.

answers from Enid on

First, make sure there hasn't been some traumatic experience he's recently suffered. If a bully is picking on him at school or some other negative event has happened, that can cause them to have elimination problems. Maybe he's feeling stress about something.

I have girls and have not experienced this particular trouble but remember when I was 5 years old I would wet my pants because I didn't want to take time away from playing with my friends or otherwise "miss out" on whatever was going on. I'd been potty trained since 18 months!

If it continues, have a private talk and give him your full attention. Try not to place blame but ask him to explain to you why he's doing this because you don't understand. Also, ask him if there is anything you can do to help or if there is some way he thinks it can be avoided in the future.

I like the previously mentioned idea of making him clean up after himself. That puts a little less stress on you and holds him accountable.

Good luck and I hope you find a solution soon.

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J.M.

answers from Enid on

If he is in school, like others mentioned make sure someone isn't picking on him and i hate to admit it but when i was younger we had a teacher (2nd grade) who no matter what WOULD NOT let us leave the classroom for any reason therefore accidents did occur...maybe that is a remote possibility. Good luck.

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