Pregnant, but Don't Want People to Know

That was then, this is now!

I could never keep myself from sharing good news. and if the result became bad news... hey they asked :) It is part of making a new life. the yin and yang of life... like you can't crash a car unless you are actually driving cars.

The american world pretends everything is fine at all time. you ask each other " How are You ?" yet the answer is always the same " fine or good" should people actually become more real they would give you the truth... which is not always pretty.

I believe in assuming people are genuine around me, and tell things as they are. "Yes I am pregnant, very happy and super worried it won't take...I will keep you posted" is the perfect answer.

I used to say that I was "working on it". I know what you mean about not wanting to lie, but not wanting to tell people either. You could also say that you are trying. Good luck : )

Hmm, why would they ask you if you're pregnant if you're not showing yet? Well if they do just say not as far as you know. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until i was 3 months along even though i've started showing at 2 months. No one asked me to my face but once i made it known others said they could tell. People usually don't ask not to be rude.

Answer a question with a question such as, "Why do you want to know?". If they persist just say "If and when I am, I'll let you know". And I miscarried before my first child so I sympathize with you. One other line I love, especially when someone continues making observations you don't want to hear is, "Thank you for sharing." Someone did that to me once and it shut me right up. Congratulations and good luck!

A friend of mine just smiled and said, "No news yet, but I will definitely let you know!" She used this until they made the official announcement after the first trimester. Personally, if I were in your shoes and had experienced a terrible miscarriage, I would be a bit more annoyed with these tactless inquiries. It's kind of rude, no?! Good luck!

Hi,
Sorry for your tough experience, i went through a few of those myself... i lost 3 last year, and now i'm pregnant, and just like you, did not wanna tell people, didnt wanna explain myself again if something goes wrong... just didnt want to deal with it... and my friends were very upfront about it too, like everytime we'll see each other, since they knew the struggles of last year, they would just ask "are you pregnant yet???"... so i just started saying ( once i knew i was pregnant) "when i'm pregnant, i'll let you know... ".. i didnt want to lie about it, but i didnt feel like dealing eather.. so i just said that... I'm 13 weeks now, and things are ok so far, so i told a few people (plus i already have one, so i started showing right away too... ) just wear loose clothing and dresses... Dresses are great...
good luck

Hi, M.,

I've had a couple of miscarriages. When in the situation you described, I've told people, "I'll let you know when I'm sure," and then let people know directly by telling them after I was pretty sure the pregnancy was going well or indirectly by showing.

Lynne E

I was in a similar situation (having had a miscarriage after announcing) before I went on to get pregnant again and have my son, and when people asked if I was pregnant the second time around, I would say something noncommital, like, "It's all in process, I'll let you know when things develop," or something that's vague and not untrue. I couldn't bring myself to outright lie about it, even though I agree with others that it's really an intrusive and inappropriate question, given how complicated and difficult it can be to get pregnant. At any rate, big congratulations to you, and here's hoping it will be smooth sailing for you all the way through the delivery!