Playing at Night Normal?

Updated on October 15, 2012
A.W. asks from Frederick, MD
14 answers

My two year old daughter has just stopped taking naps. I still put her in her bed for quiet time but she just plays until I go to get her. My concern is that she wakes through the night to talk, laugh and play for hours. No screaming or crying out just playing for 3 to 4 hours. She gets up around 8am and goes to bed by 8pm. She looks exhausted and is always tired. We do have a new baby that is 10 weeks old and we left our two year old with Grandma in the middle of the night when I went into labor and then I had emergency gall bladder surgery three weeks after giving birth and we had to leave her again. She was once really close to my MIL but doesn't want anything to do with her. I guess she associates Grandma with Mommy leaving. Is she traumatized or is the playing at night normal? I asked my pediatrician and she just said be thankful she's not screaming and is content but I'm worried she's not getting enough rest.

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K.B.

answers from San Diego on

My son did this as an infant, and still does, and he's 5 yrs old. They're just exploring their vocals and using their imaginations. I left my sons mobile on his bed til he was about 3 yrs old. He would wake up and hit the button to listen to Mozart, Beethoven, etc... Then he would lay back down n put himself back to sleep. He would sleep until 10 am sometimes. But we used to laugh just listening to him on the baby monitor babbling away as the music played. I like to think he was singing himself back to sleep. :0)
And I bet he would still play that mobile if I left attached to his big boy bed.
Don't worry, she'll be fine. You'll find her saying more n more words that you didn't think she knew. I bet she's practicing saying them as she lays there. ;0)

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F.B.

answers from New York on

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Try some more vigorous activity throughout the day so she does to bed tired and in need of sleep.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

My kids both went through periods like this.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

This is normal. She is just not needing as much sleep as before. As long as a baby gate is keeping her in her room so she can't wander she is safe in her baby proof room. I would also make absolutely sure all the bathroom doors are where she cannot get them open for any reason.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

As long as the room is dark, and she is only laying there playing with quiet toys (like stuffed animals) it sounds fairly restful to me. There's no way to force her to sleep, and she doesn't sound at all traumatized to me, she's just going through a major developmental stage right now. Two year olds are growing and learning SO much, it can be hard for them to wind down.
You could try to wear her out more during the day, make sure she gets lots of outside time and other stimulation. Other than that, yes, be happy that she's happy at night!

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Is there too much light in the room?

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Here's the thing. Even if it weren't normal, what are you going to do about it? You can't magically wake up when she does; you can't force her back to sleep. So as long as she's content to be there by herself, what's the harm? If she's not getting enough rest, then she would be falling asleep during quiet time.

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J.W.

answers from Lexington on

Sleep is CRITICAL to "mental" and physical health. (See http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2008/07/sleep-critical-y...) There are so many things I would try. Since you say she is EXHAUSTED and TIRED, this is not just her "not needing as much sleep"! In an adult, we would consider this "insomnia".

* Ensure adequate physical activities during the day so she is physically worn out by bedtime.
* Relaxing bedtime routine.
* DARK before bed (no TV, no bright lights) and DARKNESS at night for sleep.
* No sugary foods or drinks before bed.

Then, there is more and more to try if the above does not work - perhaps a swaying hammock, change bed, ask pediatrician about melatonin... Here is more... http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2009/01/sleep-timing-of-...

And due to her being "exhausted" and "tired" do not rule out talking to her pediatrician about a physical. If you said she were playing at night and FINE during the day, I'd say "normal"... but exhaustion yet not being able to sleep is not "normal."

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Mine both used to do this. I nipped it in the bud.

Get rid of night lights. Kids being afraid of the dark is a parental invention. They aren't. My kids have slept in a completely dark room their entire lives. Also, get some good black-out curtains for the room.

I put a pull switch in so I could turn off the light at the ceiling (and they couldn't get up and use the wall switch). Too easy. Not being able to turn on the light in the middle of the night tends to stop them from getting up to play.

Remove all light and sound emitting toys.

Once you've done all that, you might have a couple of nights where she's annoyed that she can't see to play. Just ignore it. She'll figure out that bed time is boring and the best thing to do is to sleep.

Luck!

C.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with Christy Lee, that's exactly what I would do.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

She sounds fine to me. It's not like you can force her to sleep. Just let it play out. She doesn't sound traumatized or anything or she would be clinging to you and insisting on you remaining near her constantly. I wouldn't worry about her closeness to her grandmother either, as I'm sure she still loves her Grandma just as much as ever.

It's just a phase, so I would just take a wait and see approach.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

I might suggest that she is not actually "awake". My daughter could actually have her eyes OPEN and be making sounds but be completely asleep. It's a form of sleep walking.
You can tell because her eyes would be kinda glassy and she was sorta looking at *nothing*. But if I quietly whispered her name she wouldn't "hear" me. Also, a few times until I figured out what was going on I "woke her up" which startled her and she started crying.
My Pediatrician said that is fairly common. Research has shown that some kids can't "turn off" their brain. But it's not harmful to them.
Just something to think about.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

You know, if she's not in distress, then why should you be?

You can try getting rid of the night light, as others have suggested, but for slightly older kids, who are working on staying dry at night, a night light is really beneficial, since it helps them to get out of bed more easily if they need to make a midnight bathroom trip.

Honestly, if she's up that much at night, you might try reintroducing a nap, or at least making it easier for naps to happen. But if a child is happily playing in the middle of the night, that's an unusual sleep pattern, but it's not a sign of trauma. In other words, I'm with the doc on this one.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Well, that's really unusual, staying up for 3 to 4 hours without any crying.

What is she playing with? I think I would remove the most interesting things. Where is the light? Make sure there isn't too much light. Don't go in there to check on her - I'd be tempted to have a camera in there so you can see what she is up to.

I would hope that this would stop pretty soon - I wouldn't like this scenario either...

Dawn

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