My son has slept throught the night since four months. And not the five hours some lunatic defined as a full night's sleep, but we're talking ten hours a night. Awesome, I know. He's just shy of nine months now, and nighttime has become an exhaustive battle I've grown to dread. If I had my way, I'd become the anti-vampire and only come during the daylight, but I digress. I called his pediatrician, and she said he had most likely developed night terrors. Her advice was to go in every 15 minutes, assure him mommy was there, and then leave to let him cry it out. So, okay, I'm trying.
About the same time though, he's caught on that the bottle after bath time signals bed time. His solution is to refuse the bedtime bottle. Part of me is proud of his tiny diabolical mind thinking through that. The other part...is tired. We put him to bed around 7:30 (lucky if he's had half a bottle) and inevitably he wakes up between 11 and midnight and SCREAMS. I do the patting. I remind myself the doctor said under no circimstances to take him out of the crib. I listen to him screaming for an hour. Usually, he'll calm down for about another hour before he's back at it. Usually, the second time I break down and give him a bottle. He gobbles us the whole thing. He'll go back to bed for a few hours after that, but I'm riddled with guilt for not handling the situation as the doctor advised.
I've tried feeding him solid foods later in the evening and that didn't work either. I'm just at a loss. Is he screaming because of night terrors or hunger? Should I pick him up or not? Should I feed him at 3 am? How do I break this terrible pattern and get my sleeping baby boy back?
Also...it's not teething, I don't think. This has happened when I've been desparate and put him to bed with both night time oralgel and motrin.
For the record, I didn't just shut the door on my baby for an hour. I went in every 15 minutes and did the patting routine.
You all convinced me though to toss the doctor's advice out the window. Last night, I put him down fully prepared to administer bottles and snuggles as demand arose. And then...he slept through the night. Go figure!
I am so proud of you and want to knock the &^% out of the uncaring doctor.....babies can just want attention plus tummy aches, nightmares, lonliness - yep real human needs....shame on that doc and good for you!!
I am so feeling you on the tired, exhausted, desperate for sleep part. My second was a pretty horrible sleeper for awhile.
But I am so not feeling your pedi on the crying it out thing. Cuddle him, love him, comfort him. Bring him into bed with you, if you're comfortable with that. You won't create a monster, you won't ruin his ability to gain independence. You'll both get some much needed sleep. It's not a struggle of wills or him trying to play you. He needs his momma. Plain & simple.
My vote is to love him up, give him the bottle & get back to sleep. :)
Good luck!
Not sleeping sucks but it is part of parenthood and anytime anything changed, teething, diet(new foods or needing more), weather, the beginning of an ear infection etc mine would change sleep habits. I am not a pedi but I am a mother...pick him up, give him a bottle and put him back to bed, if you have to do it a few times then do it. Like a newborn he eventually won't wake up for the middle one and then he will start to skip the first etc. Maybe he is growing and his body is needing the extra food (milk). Around this age they usually start playing more and burn more calories plus maybe a growth spurt so he might actually be needing a bottle. Like everything else, this too shall pass. Good Luck!
Change your pediatrician and give that child a bottle since it seems that he is hungry.
It is not surprising to me that your child doesn't want to go to bed at night if you make him lay alone and cry for an hour or more in there and be hungry all night. If the child is crying, pick him up, if the child is hungry feed him. If you want him to go to bed easier, then make his night of sleep more pleasant for him. Making him cry out of hunger for an hour does not make him excited about going to bed the next night. It is not unusual for a child this age to wake in the middle of the night for a bottle. They are becoming so much more active at this age, there for burning more calories during the day and they often need to restock at night! Feed the child, you will all sleep better if you get him out of bed when he cries and feed him. Remember, the goal is for everyone to get as much sleep as possible, not try to teach a 9 year old some harsh lesson about bedtime. He is learning not to trust you when you don't respond to his crying.
My now 17 month old daughter still wakes up off and on throughout the night -- but we co-sleep and she nurses. We both get plenty of rest and bedtime is a joy (snuggling up to my sweet girl) . . . not a terror. I follow the advice of Dr. Sears (The Baby Book) and the principles of Attachment Parenting and have not regretted it one moment! Try a different pedi!
In my opinion, go with your instinct. Just one thought...do you think it could be intestinal pains making him scream a few hours after eating?
I just did not know night terrors started that young.
You could pick him up, see if he burps or toots, and console him without talking....that is what I did, when my kids were younger. Best of luck.
Very normal... went through the same thing with my first. She started sleeping through the night at three months; then all of a sudden around 6-7 months we had bedtime and naptime issues. She started crying the minute I started carrying into her room. I remember having to pat her little bottom for over an hour before she fell asleep and then thinking she was asleep, leaving the room, then only to have it start all over again. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with her just sitting up in bed crying. Anyway, I didn't take her out of the bed in the middle of the night. I soothed while in the crib, changed her diaper in the crib, etc. Unfortunately, she is now almost three and still wakes up in the middle of the night at least once calling for me. My second is 18 months old and almost never wakes up and goes to bed without any comforting. Each child is so different. It sounds like your little one needs more comforting than some; however, I just would do the soothing in the crib. I would agree with the "not taking your child out of the crib" b/c they will come to expect that. I also agree with the fact that it is not the end of the world if you do. I had to come to realize this with my second. I didn't have the hard, fast rules that I did with my first. Surprising, my second is much more laid back :) I know sometimes I changed my daughter's diaper in the crib and that helped things. She didn't like to be wet. Good luck!!
Both of my sleeping through the night babies started the not going to sleep routine at his age. I think it is because they want to sit up and practice the standing up thing. I bought one of those mobiles that shoots an image on the ceiling and it really helped getting them to lay down. It also starts playing music when my little one starts fussing.
I had never heard to not feed my babies in the middle of the night. I had big babies and they just could not make it through the night without a meal. When they woke up I would go in, turn on the mobile, change their diaper, feed them a bottle and then put them back to bed. (I wouldnt talk or play with them.) My 3 1/2 year old is a totally normal and happy child that sleeps through the night and my 10 month old sleeps through the night with no problem now either. Im no doctor but if you know your baby is hungry, why not feed him? If its not hunger but its night terrors then I see no harm in going in and rocking him to sleep. Your not going to "ruin" him by loving and holding him. He will outgrow this phase soon. He is your baby and you should follow your heart and handle it the way that feels right to you. Obviously different doctors have different opinions. My doctor never expressed any concerns when I told him how I was handing the nighttime situations.
Good luck
T.
By the way the mobile we bought is called Soothe & Surprise Nature Light and we bought it at Walmart.
Hi R.,
It seems like that it may be a hunger issue since he's almost skipping his night bottle and inhaling the one in the middle of the night. My mother told me when my son was about this age...do what you feel is right, the doctors are here to give you educated advise on what they think you should do.
I'm not saying to ignore the doctor, but there are times that what they say just doesn't work. If you are not sleeping, it puts a strain on the whole family. So you need to do what will make you happy as well as healthy. Sleep deprivation is never healthy.
Good luck and keep us posted!
L.
Wow, you've been incredibly lucky so far. Most kiddos experience a sleep regression around 4 months and perhaps yours is a late bloomer. ;)
Are you absolutely sure this isn't teething?? You might want to explore that angle some more. Orajel is kinda gross and may not be to his liking. Try the Hyland's teething pills if you haven't already. Frozen bagels are good too but I digress....
Night terrors are indeed possible. If that's the case, the only thing you can do is comfort him. He also may very well be hungry. His stomach is the size of his fist and doesn't really hold much. The old wives tale about feeding them cereal before bed is pretty much that -- old and tale-y (as in not based on data that shows that on average it does not help them sleep).
Well you've tried the good Dr's suggestions and they haven't worked. I assume you've tried for more than a week. Time for plan B. Should you pick him up? Sure. It certainly couldn't hurt at this point. He may be more comforted by that than a pat on the back.
I know you're exhausted (beleive me I know exhaustion too -- mine didn't sleep 8+hrs until 2 1/2), but check out the book -- No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It has a lot of good techniques, it's based on data as well so I felt comfortable with it. bottom line -- you need to do what you need to do to get some sleep. If that means picking him up a few times, giving him a bottle, letting him sleep with you, whatever -- do it. None of these things will "spoil" him. Trust me, you'll have plenty of time when he's older to do some real damage (just kidding). Just do what you have to to get some sleep. Good luck.
Hi! I know you have gotten a lot of good advice, and I have just one more that might work. When my son was a baby, we had a similar issue with him and my pediatrician suggested that we move his bedtime up an hour. So putting him to bed at 6 instead of 7. I thought he was nuts since we were having such a hard time at 7. Turns out he was right! All the fussing and crying and fits were all out of being over-tired. He'll still sleep through the night and may not even get up an hour earlier. Give it a try, you never know!
I'm with the other mom that said pick him up and comfort him. If he is truly afraid, why not? Once he gets past this stage and feels secure, he will stay in his bed. I always just put mine in bed with my husband and I because we wanted a good night's sleep more than anything. For us, it didn't cause our kids to want to sleep with us every night. They both sleep in their own beds. I am a firm nonbeliever in the cry it out method and believe nothing good will come of it. Good luck and remember it won't go on forever.
