Phone Calls - Livermore Falls,ME

I agree with the others that she should not be forced. My son goes through this as well. I ask him why he doesn't want to talk. I tell him he doesn't have to. I tell him his dad still loves him. He also doesn't always want to go to see him. When he sees that he can stay or go he stays home and then maybe ask to go the next day. If his dad doesn't show I again say well maybe dad got busy but he loves you and will call you later or we can call him again. My son loves to send video messages on the phone. He talks to his dad that way and enjoys it.

How about telling him to just call to say good night for now.

My daughter is going thru the same thing maybe she needs some time forcing her is going to make it worse. Your X and you need to have a conversation about a little away time from the calls. She will come around. She needs time to get thru the separation. she is sad for you both.Give it time.She is upset because he is gone.

At four years old she can better express her feelings and wants. Why is she being forced to speak to him she doesnt want to?? Give her the option and let her choose. Since she does see him, Why cant he just wait to ask her questions when he sees her. besides, (giggle) I dont know many 4 yr olds who like to talk on the phone. I have joint custody for 3 of my children, and as much as i miss them when they're at their fathers I will wait until i see them to speak with them. Show her you respect her growing individuality and mind by allowing her to learn to make decisions that she can.

Good luck with joint custody.

CJ

can you get her excited about something to tell him on the phone? other than that shes a baby still so he needs to get over it!

I don't think you should make her talk on the phone. have you tried letting her come to it on her own? maybe when he calls you can say "daddy is on the phone and he would sure like to talk to you" I'm sure the first time she refuses and you let her will surprise her. Just keep positive about it and I bet in time she will come to it on her own. Does her father not live nearby enough to visit her in person?? maybe she is angry with him at that and that is how she expresses it. Just my thoughts.

Hello A.,

My stepson does this with his mother when she calls, she also asks a lot of questions. Does your daughter get to see her father everyweek or everyother weekend? I would say that if she sees him everyweek see if your ex can keep the conversation simple. She is only 4 and the questions being asked might be too much for her right now. You really need to speak with your ex and come to an agreement. I think if she really does not want to talk to him then she should not be made to. Eventually she will come around and want to talk with her dad. When we call my stepson we make it fun/exciting, never asking more than a couple questions and telling him we love him and when we will see him again. Never more than 3-4 minutes, Children can't really understand the parents love for them and that we miss them. So I understand why he might have a lot of questions, but he needs to do this for her.

Aliza

If you want to talk more message me, I would be glad to help. Enjoy your little bundle of joy they grow too fast.

Maybe she feels like she is not having a conversation, but is being interrogated over the phone. If he's asking her a lot of questions, maybe he needs to be reprimanded and learn to have a conversation with a child? Children let us know when they don't enjoy something, so maybe it's his approach, not her behavior.
Good luck.

Hi A. :)

Seems to me like she needs to learn how to deal with and express her feelings. This book can help: http://www.amazon.com/Alexander-Terrible-Horrible-Good-Ve.... It helped me get her to understand about what she's feeling and express it. I also encouraged her to draw pictures to describe how she feels and also what isn't acceptable. There are also books on amazon.com to help kids deal with divorce. Here's the link to those: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_n_4/002-###-###-####-##....

Hope this helps! :)

How does your daughter act during her stay with her father for the week that she is with him? Is she irritable with him. Maybe she's just acting 4 years old and thinks that he should only she her and talk to her when it's his week only. Kids are funny that way. But one thing you can do is play a game with your kid and just have a casual conversation and bring up her daddy subtle like and she what she talks about