Personality Disorders

I've dealt with several patients with BPD. Keep in mind that narcissistic personality is a hallmark of BPD. All BPD's are narcissistic, but not all narcissists are BPD.

I strongly suggest that you do a lot of research. Also, get her professionally diagnosed. Here is a great place to start. http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/

NPD is not normally diagnosed in teens because, well, all teenagers are somewhat narcississtic. The fact that your daughter asked for therapy also suggests she does not have true Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Those with the disorder think they are (better than) normal and that everyone else has the problem. They are rarely open to therapy.

If it were my child, I'd seek counseling for myself, to help me cope and know how best to help her deal with her fear of failure and other issues. This is a good opportunity to do an emotional wellness check up for your whole family. You may find that you and your family's relationships all benefit from what you learn.

You cannot diagnose a personality disorder until they are 18 or older because such habits are not formed in such a thorough way until they are fully developed. If a psychologist diagnoses your child or teenager with a PD before they are 18, FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR.

I bought a book a few years ago that you might find helpful, Living with Intensity, and the Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults. I put a link below. I bought it because I teach gifted teenagers, and our youngest son is highly sensitive and gifted. At the time we were struggling with how to deal with his roller-coaster emotions. The book is really interesting. I still use it as a reference book.

I hope your daughter gets the help she needs. Here is the link to the book on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0910707898/ref=oh_o00_s0...

A little bit of experience - my only suggestion would be to have her diagnosed, and then also get a second opinion. They are both tricky, dangerous disorders and, I think, difficult for people, especially loved ones, to understand and deal with. Both, I think, include lots of ways to manipulate loved ones. Maybe counseling for the whole family?

you got some fantastic, insightful advice from these moms. I just wanted to add my kudos to you for getting your daughter the help that she needs.

my mom has BPD that was not appropriately diagnosed until she was almost 60. it's extremely challenging (and so is she), but I know that it would have made a world of difference if she had been appropriately treated earlier on.

good luck and big hugs to you!

I would absolutely find a psychologist who does mental health testing for the purposes of diagnosis. She may be able to get full disability on these illnesses, even with medication BPD is hard to live with and she can work and have a fulfilled life but many times they are not able to function within the boundaries of society, they just have to work so much harder to fit in, to make the right choices.

I feel bad for her if she does have the BPD, it is one that can be pretty normal with a few episodes that stress can bring on or it can be the kind that might require living in a supervised capacity such as a group home or your home for years to come.

NPD is hard because the come off as so selfish and uncaring, when they in fact do care.

Please don't just take 1 person's advice though, please make sure the psychologist she has testing with is very qualified and has done this testing before.

I think the fact that she asked for therapy, recognized that she needed help, is wonderful. She's a very insightful and courageous person. Family therapy might be helpful - perhaps you can get a referral from your therapist, so you can get a handle on changes, etc. that you'll be going through. Of course, her therapy is confidential, but they might be able to give you strategies that will help. Good luck!

Many inlaws have been diagnosed with these. Three generations in all.

NAMI is a huge comfort and resource when first getting diagnosed and finding people who won't judge you or blame you. They meet online and in real life around the country.

It is tempting for moms to blame ourselves. If it turns out your daughter has one of these things, there is help available. I am glad she has talents. It will really help her to have friends and joining clubs or a team is the easiest way to make friends. It won't be easy, but you will get through this.

Parenting practices to avoid would be letting her go unsupervised for long periods of time. My niece did a 2 night sleepover where the parents are known for giving kids beer. She was drunk and did thinks I would have not imagined her doing, but there are photos. She was the popular, normal one. Add the lack of inhibition that comes with personality disorders led my SIL to publicly do things and I am thankful there was no internet then.

I have. Could you describe with examples? You can pm me if you like.

Yeah I have a bit. I agree with Nancy all teens are a bit narcissistic, heck all two year olds are. :p

The first book I thought of is Generation Me. We, by we I mean everyone else, is raising narcissistic children. I joke about not me since I didn't not raise my children as everyone else seems to yet I can point to a lot of narcissism in my older daughter. Then again it is an unfounded sense and she is pretty damn amazing, god knows how I raised her. :)

My ex is a narcissist of the personality disorder type. Having known him for 25 years I have to say if you as questioning whether she is a narcissist then she isn't. It pretty much reaches out and smacks you in the face!

Did you google this or did her doctor tell her she's showing these signs?

Because every teenager falls into a ton of psycho categories ;)

Most mom's do too, LOL!!

Take her to a licensed psychologist.

Perhaps you can look into counselling too, to learn how best to support and nurture your daughter. Talk to your daughter's doctor, they should be bale to suggest something. I think you're on a good road, your daughter already feels that there might be something off.

Good luck to you.