Hi Mamas.
I am hoping to find a little inspiration.
Nearly a year ago, my husband was traveling on vacation with friends ( I didn't go because I was pregnant ) and were hit by a drunk teenage driver in Kansas. Our friend was killed, his wife paralyzed, & the teenage driver was also killed. My husband miraculously escaped with broken ribs. As you can imagine, our world was turned upside down. My husband has endured something no one ever should. If you have dealt with this, I send my prayers to you too.
My question is: do you have any ideas for something quiet but special we could do or I could do for our friend's wife? for my husband? as a memorial for our friend?
I've had a while to think about this but nothing is really coming to mind.
We'll most likely visit his grave side in Dallas.
And if you are reading this, let me tell you: it is NEVER a good idea to give alcohol to teenagers and parents who do this are absolutely crazy.
My husband just wanted to keep things low key. We went together as our little family to the graveside. At first my husband wanted to go alone but then he said he'd rather we go and said later he was so glad we did. Because my son's middle name is for our friend, I wanted him to go. We took a few nice pictures to have as a memory for later. We took a little blanket and enjoyed the beautiful day in the beautiful cemetery telling our son about what happened (even though he's too young to understand now, we Will always talk to him about this). We called our friends wife but she didn't go with us.
It was a hard day, but was actually a nice day of remembrance and thankfulness to have each other.
it's good to go to the gravesite. Then just go somewhere relaxing; it's too bad it's too hot to go to the lake. Go somewhere that you can all relax and talk about good times, or not talk at all, or whatever your husband and friend's wife feel like doing. Children have a way of making one feel hopeful, so at some point, perhaps allow your son to join you.
I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. My best suggestion is to do something that her husband would've liked. What was his favorite thing to do? Do his favorite thing to honor him & remember him.
Hi, My dad committed suicide when I was 13 and a year ago was the 20th anniversary of that day and I planted a tree in our yard and my husband had gone to a pottery store where you can paint and bake your own pottery piece and he made a special stone (like a stepping stone only for show not stepping) and it was so special and we have the stone in front of the tree to serve as a monument to my dad (he and I were VERY close and his suicide was a shock to the entire family). I have since built a brick flower bed around it and plant and garden in that space.
I would be a great idea to buy a tree for the wife and make or buy a special object to place in front of the tree (this way she can take this object if she ever moves and it can be passed down to other family members later)
Have a prayer and rememberance seremony voicing your thanks for his life and the gift of friendship you had with him and the gift of love and friendship you now carry on with his wife. also promising to always be there for her in friendship to look after her for him....
I will add that after my Dad died- (he was a prominate leader in our community and had many "friends")
people sor of just forgot about us and we never saw many of the people who we condidered our best friends for years... I guess they did not know what to say or it was to hard for them but it is harder on the person who lives it every day and when "friends" walk away it is even harder to walk yourself through each day.
I am sorry that you are going through this and I wish you well
Hope that helped,
A. J
I am sorry for your loss and glad that your husband made it through. What about making a donation in your friend's memory? Maybe to Mother's Against Drunk Driving, or a cause that he may have ben involved in.
Who is taking care of the wife? Maybe you could call a delivery service to deliver a meal, or just a plant that says 'Thinking of You'.
I am Jewish, and a Jewish tradition is to light a candle in memory of a loved one. It is a special candle that burns all day, and it is just a quiet reminder of what the day represents.
