Nursing 13 Month Old Girl Not Sleeping Thru the Night

Updated on April 22, 2010
R.C. asks from Austin, TX
10 answers

My dilema is that my 13 month old is not sleeping thru the night. I am still nursing her which is one of the issues along with the fact that she does NOT take a pacifier or a bottle. She is drinking whole milk now in a sippy cup. I feel like I have a newborn again. She wakes up 4-5 times a night! She is currently co-sleeping with us in our bed with plans to move her to her own crib. I have a portable crib in our room and one in her room. She is obviously using me as her pacificer/comfort. I am not sure why she is waking up so much. This isn't normal for her. In the past, she would wake up around 2x per night but it has been getting worse. I really love sleeping with her but I feel it is time to get her in her own bed. I was thinking of starting to get her in her crib with daytime naps
but some days I can't always be home and she naps in the car. Not sure what the deal is with the night-time and how I should go about getting her to self-soothe/go back to sleep. I don't want to make it miserable for my husband. I also am not a cry it out mom...but am kinda leaning that way. Also, when I have tried to refuse her at night, she sits up in bed and cries and practically crawls over me to get to me. what do i do? Please help!

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I don't really know the proper way to do a CIO with a cosleeper, but you could make it harder for her to nurse at night by wearing a bra or long nightgown (I have seen both recommended before), and just rubbing her back when she wakes up? Naps in the crib is a good start, and I wouldn't worry about the times she is in the car. Just make sure that you don't put her back in your room. Then you can make the transition for nighttime.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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1 mom found this helpful
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T.B.

answers from Houston on

Hello,

I recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth to every parent. He talks about different sleep issues and different methods for helping your child sleep better. I was concerned about the cry it out method but was pleasantly surprised that it really didn't take too long before my son stopped crying. Good Luck!

A.S.

answers from Dallas on

Put her in her crib for a nap on the days you are home. Don't nurse her to sleep at night, as she needs to be able to fall asleep on her own at night without the comfort of nursing. Also, my kids never took a bottle, they went straight from nursing to a cup, so don't worry about that.

Cry it out is not recommended for babies under the age of 9 months. At her age, it is more acceptable because she needs to learn to self soothe. Workinmom gave some great advice as well.

My boys were about that age when I transitioned them to heir crib as well. It can be rough for a week, but they get used to it if you give them the chance to.

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S.H.

answers from Topeka on

I'll be looking for your answers because I'm going through the same thing with my 9 mo old. He was sleeping all night long and has recently started waking up several times a night too! Its exhausting! I feel like a pacifier and really would love to sleep without being sucked on...lol

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I would first work on transitioning her to a crib first. If she doesn't have easy access to you, she might now nurse as frequently. Try doing naps in the crib first. When we decided it was time to let our twins cry it out (which, I was heavily against but was at my wit's end), I did it for naptime first. Surprisingly, they cried for less than 20 minutes, and it quickly dropped from there. Then, we were able to focus on bedtime.

Once she is in her own crib, if she does wake up in the middle of the night, simply do not nurse her. She doesn't need the calories. Comfort her, but do not nurse. This is what I did for my twins, one they started waking up in the middle of the night. We had no troubles with night time nursing sessions.

Good luck!

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V.G.

answers from Portland on

We slept with our son until he started naturally wanting (and sleeping better) to sleep alone around 12 months.
He was still breastfed at this point, but we (I since I was always the one who woke up lol) noticed that as soon as he went in his own room and bed, not only did he sleep BETTER but LONGER as well.
I agree with you that the cry it out method sounds and is a little harsh, but you can do a modified version of that- let her cry in her own bed for one minute then the next time, make it two minutes and on and on until you get up to ten minutes max.
It felt harsh when I tried it with my son, but it only took TWO nights of this and he started sleeping SO much longer- better for BOTH of us.
Good luck, it sounds like you're a caring momma who really loves her daughter. :)

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M.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Your first problem is that she is co-sleeping. My doctor told me when my daughter was 5 months to get her out of my bed and she would sleep. Sure enough, she did the very same night I put her in her own bed. She is probably waking up every time you or your husband moves. Since the breast is right there next to her, naturally she wants it. I know you love sleeping with her as I loved sleeping with mine, but you have to do whats best for you and her. As for crying it out, it only lasts about 3 days. Everyone told me to be persistent for 3 days and they learn quickly. They were all right. It actually only took about 2 days and then about a week later she woke again crying, but just kept doing it and she caught on. I did the go in and rub back without talking 5 mins, then 10 mins, then 15 mins until she fell asleep. You can look up different methods on the internet. Just be persistent. Good Luck

B.A.

answers from Austin on

Here are some ideas by Kyle Pruett, M.D., provides excellent insight on this topic. More info can be found at this link:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2010/01/09/...

Children’s sleep issues are among the more challenging developmental stages for parents to master.  But biology is on the parents’ side in this one, because sleep patterns mature over time just like other developmental skills.

* Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
* Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.
* The human brain is active during sleep, but the deepest sleep is typically at the beginning of the night.  Babies spend more time than older children in stimulating REM sleep, with eye movements and irregular breathing. Don’t worry about all that action in your child’s body – it too is growth.
* Start them young – do not ignore the importance of naps, watch for the yawn, and start bedtime early in the evening.
* The transition from crib to bed is also a time of sleep pattern changes, but most kids want it to work.
* To instill good sleep habits remember that consistency matters so much:

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S.C.

answers from Austin on

Hi there Mama,
I went through a similar thing with my son. He didn't sleep with us but the night waking and wanting to nurse got bad when he started having more separation anxiety around the 12 - 18 month age. I absolutely did not want to let him cry it out. I was very against it but after months of no sleep and talking to a very good friend who went through the same with her daughter I finally decided to do it. If you are going to cry it out you should do it all at once. Move to her own bed and stop night nursing alltogether. Going in small stages just makes it worse on your baby. Just decide to do it one day when you know you'll have some emotional support for you. Your baby will be fine - they are crying because they want all that extra comfort but by this age they don't need it. I'm sure you give her plenty of love and affection during the day. She will cry and throw a fit because she'll be mad she's not getting what she wants but she will be ok. You may need your husband or a good friend to call to keep reminding you of that each night until she stops crying. Establish a routine for naps and bedtime and stick to it for at least a month (then you can deviate if you need to sometimes). Our night routine is bath, lotion, pajamas, book, prayer, lullaby and say goodnight and put him in bed - then walk out! Be happy when you leave and don't return. If she wakes at night you can go in and make sure nothing is wrong like wetting the bed or soiled diaper. Tend to the need and then repeat the lullaby and say goodnight and walk out and don't return. The first night our son cried 45 minutes and threw up a little. The second night was 20 minutes. After a couple more nights it was only 5 mintues. Now he doesn't cry at all. Our nap routine is diaper change, book, lullaby and say goodnight and put him in bed - then walk out! Sometimes he fusses a bit if he's not totally tired or overtired but he knows he has to put himself to sleep and mostly prefers that now. Of course when he is sick or teething sometimes I rub his back for a few minutes but only for a couple days - then back to the routine. You'll be surprised how fast they learn and are TOTALLY fine with it after a few days. You will be relieved that you can get some sleep. It's really a hard thing to live through for a couple weeks but then you will see the rewards. Your baby is old enough so don't feel bad about wanting some sleep for you and your husband. It's for the family's best interest. My thoughts are with you - best wishes!

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