Need Some Advice Mommas

I also have a 3.5 yr old son, and I know that sometimes when he is rehashing scenarios for me the tone or context of a comment may not come across. There is a strong chance that the coach was totally joking and being playful when he said it. I don't find the name "butterfingers" to be damaging or cruel. It was probably said in jest, and only once, and probably without the intention to belittle. I wouldn't bring anything up to the teacher, as it seems incredibly mild to me.

I agree with the other moms below. I think that you're right, people shouldn't call names, but people have different ways of interacting. I'm totally a "teaser" and I call my kids "silly" or "goober" or "nutcase" or...I'll stop here. Kids I'm friendly with I do the same. If you saw the context, you'd know that I wasn't name-calling at all, but it's much more a form of endearment.

I think that if you respond to your son's telling by saying "oh that's so funny! I'm sometimes a butterfingers too - sometimes things are just so slippery!" it wouldn't bother your son and you could both get a little laugh out of it.

This is definately something I would let go. Not worth holding on to it.

Good luck.

I wouldn't take the butterfingers comment to heart, unless your son seemed very upset about it. It may have been said very warmly and humorously and the coach may have been saying it to all the kids. They will all develop skills at different ages. You can work with him to play catch as long as he finds it fun!

I imagine the context, is not as bad as your making it. You ARE hearing this from a 3.5 year old! He could have called many kids butterfingers. The coach could have called himself butterfingers!! I was called this, as a kid by the coach, and we had a good laugh! Everyone drops the ball, and it was just a funny thing to say. I really think you should let it go. I seriously doubt he said it in a belittling, harsh, malicious way. If your son is doing fine, just let it be. Making a deal out of it, will cause your son to be more sensitive to things like this. Relax, mama! I think this is a no big deal, type of situation :)

deep breathe mama. I think you are overreacting. You may not like my answer, but it's my opinion...take it or leave it.
I call my son's butterfingers when they drop stuff, twinkle toes when they trip...it's cute! In MY opinion it makes it NOT seem like such a big deal.
When my kids were learning how to walk we would chuckle or laugh when they fell so that they would know that it's okay and they weren't hurt. Maybe this "coach" was just trying to use a word that's funny to kids (both my boys crack up, and they are 8 and 5 now) so that your son wouldn't feel bad about dropping the ball. Just something to think about.
L.

Hi,

Along with all the other mama's I think you are overeacting a bit. Unless your kid is a little terror :) which I really don't think so, or unless he was so deeply hurt he can't get over it....most people use these words as terms of endearment. I can understand your concern being a first time mother speaking from experience you tend to get offended by things that NEVER even bother your kid. I call those situations character builders :) No matter how much you will want to be there and defend your baby (and you definitely are his advocate) they do have to learn how to ignore things, recognize humor and playfulness and not to let certain things offend them. Think about it, if you respond to every little thing someone says to him you may have other parents and kids not even want to be bothered with you or him. This is not good if you want him to make friends and learn how to socially interact with others.

My oldest is in the 6th grade, and you wouldn't believe some of the mean things the teachers have told the students. I say pick your battles and save your energy for when you really need to "check" someone cause believe me it is coming.

Hope this helps!

I say butterfingers to myself just the other day I dropped something @ the store I was like oh I have butterfingers today my 3 yr old was like what is that I told her it's when something falls out of your hand she giggled

I do see where you are going here but I really doubt it was true name calling it culd of been in conversation but who knows ask the person who said it that way you can know for sure

I bet the name caller has forgotten all about it and so has your son - you need to chill and let this one pass. Pick your battles and I don't think this is one of them....I agree it may have been said in jest or fun not in anger. Without knowing the context or being there I would let it slide this time. Perhaps volunteer to help out at the next gym class and see what it's like. If the coach is an unpaid volunteer he may stop coaching if you interfere too much and then the preschool will need to find a replacement, all over something that may have been blown out of proportion or taken out of context....

You are right no one should be calling a child out of their name. Contacting the teacher in a calm manner is the right thing, they need to know. I know children develop differently and that "coach" needs to remember or learn this. If this person can not conduct their self as a responsible caring adult they don't need to be around especially young children, any children for that matter.
Being a parent of a delayed child I know people can be mean but it is no excuse. Children may forget what was said but many don't and need support. I have raised 3 happy healthy adults and have one still in school, I don't always believe everything she says but you can always investigate. Good luck with this and be strong.

Talk to the owner. Name calling is not productive and should not be tolerated.

I wouldn't take this to heart. I have a 2nd grader and I still only believe about half of what he tells me about school and I question half of the other half!