Trying Not to Overreact but I Am Upset! Help?

I think the coaches approach was wrong. It would have been better to video tape the kids with parents permission of course and have all of the children watch it together to critique themselves. But only with parent permission. I would be upset too if my kids pics were on the internet and I wasn't asked. Also, the fact that they are up there to point out bad things is wrong---9 year olds are a little young to get so much heat for what they are doing wrong in a game! I mean they are still learning how to play---isn't the goal to have fun??? You were completely right to have him take them down. He only got mad at you because you burst his bubble and he realized that he was wrong-- The other parents should have had the option but since the coach felt it was his job to be a martyr, then he took everything down. Try not to sweat it---enjoy the day and maybe this guy will think 2x before doing something like this again. GL!

M

Good for you! I would be beyond mad if someone put pictures of my children online (public or private) without my permission.
My husband and I do not allow anyone (family or otherwise) to put pictures of our children online. You can never be too careful that things are being protected correctly.
I think to teach the children what they are doing wrong maybe he should use a video instead where everyone can dicuss things in a group so everyone can wor together to improve.
As far as the other parents are concerned they will get over it. You did what was best for your child!
Best Wishes!

Updated

Good for you! I would be beyond mad if someone put pictures of my children online (public or private) without my permission.
My husband and I do not allow anyone (family or otherwise) to put pictures of our children online. You can never be too careful that things are being protected correctly.
I think to teach the children what they are doing wrong maybe he should use a video instead where everyone can dicuss things in a group so everyone can wor together to improve.
As far as the other parents are concerned they will get over it. You did what was best for your child!
Best Wishes!

Not overreacting at all. If you did not sign anything saying that your daughter's picture could be taken... Then that's illegal.

Hmmmm - what qualifies the parents to look at still pictures and determine what is being done wrong?? Teams look at game films all the time, but a still picture shows very little. And kids don't need their parents taking them apart. Coaching should be done by the coach, and usually as a group exercise. It sounds like he posted the photos as a means of embarrassing the kids into conforming - a highly questionable coaching approach.

Selling the pictures? Who is profiting from this? Parents should be informed and give their permission for their children's pictures to be on line and sold. If the profits are to support the team, that's fine - but you should be told.

He is being unprofessional by blaming YOU for all the pictures coming down. Whether you were right or wrong, HE is wrong for telling people it's because of you.

I would take this to the supervising organization - the town rec department or the private association that sponsors the team. Or the school - whoever is in charge. There need to be policies about internet photos, parental permission, and so on. Parents need to know that coaches are trained in everything, not just the rules of softball, but also in proper public relations, fundraising, and internet use of photos.

I see several problems here. FIrst, did he get a release from the parents? If not, he shouldn't be posting the photos. Second, its the coach's job to instruct the girls not the parents. If he wants to abdicate that responsibility, then he shouldn't be the coach. Third, there are some reasons why parents do not want photos of their kids on the net. Other parents should respect that. This coach is wrong on many levels and should apologize. Can you put your daughter on a different team next year?

I would want to know who he is selling these pictures to and how many have been sold. I would be talking to the police department about this. It isn't just that he posted them, any perv could copy and paste the pictures or buy them. He is also posting online where to find these girls, if he has attracted a perv, the perv now knows where to find the girls.
I don't see it as conflict of interest but a violation of trust. I would be looking for a different coach.

I think you're overreacting to your daughter's pictures being posted as a tool for improving.
The guy of COURSE had to take everyones' down. If there's one parent who's raising a fuss, it could mean a potential lawsuit. If there's more than one parent, don't you think it's better safe than sorry to take all the photos down until this is resolved?
Yeah, sorry, but I do think you jumped the gun and took things out of context.

No, I don't think you are over reacting. I would have requested him to do the same thing. No one has the right to display our children's pictures without our permission. Schools have to get your permission to publis your childs picture in publications so it's the same thing here. Did the coach email everyone saying that he has removed them and will not be doing it again because of you? If you got that email as well, I would just do a reply to all and simply state your side saying that you believe that there has been some sort of misunderstanding here. Don't be accusatory in it, just simply express that you had only asked him to remove your daughter's pictures. Legally, if this guy wants to put pictures of the kids on the internet like that he really should have gotten everyone's permission first. He was completely in the wrong. Can't worry about what the other parents think. If they don't realize that there are two sides to every story then they are just simply very narrow minded. Good luck.

Let the parents and the coach be mad. The coach made a stupid judgement call and you had the good sense to protest it. You did the right thing, for the right reasons and they can get over it.

Taking pictures so that kids can see what they are doing wrong isn't good coaching. How is that going to benefit a 9 year old, anyway?

If the situation gets out of control, tell the coach to make it right and let the other parents know that you only requested pics of YOUR daughter to be removed. This man is acting childishly. He needs to realize that he needed parental permission from every parent, and has no right to put it all on you.

When I was in high school, it was a practice of the varsity coach to have the foot ball games video taped. Monday after the game, the team would watch the tape and a review of mistakes and good moves were made.
No one else was allowed to review the tapes and since this was before the internet, no wider audience was possible.
It was extremely useful to both the coach and the team.
I'd have a fit if anyone was posting picture of my kid on the internet for any reason.
Is there some wavier that is signed when anyone joins the team that gives permission for team members images to be used like this?
If there is no wavier, he could (and probably should) be sued.
If a wavier was signed, well - then he's been given permission, and he doesn't have to remove pictures at anyone's request unless he wants to be nice about it.
If I want pictures of my kid in a game, I take my own.

In regards to the critiquing, and getting opinions on what they can do better, I think that is perfectly acceptable.

However I am with you on the pictures on the internet - if they were posted publically. If it was only team members' families on a restricted/password protected site, then that's fine. But if they were at all publically posted, I believe you have every right to request him to remove those pictures.

But most of all, how rude of that guy to rat you out to everyone else? All he needed to say is that there were some parents who had an issue with their kid's pics posted on the internet, not call you out. Not much you can do about that now though.

I think you are overreacting. It's not a big deal

No you're not overreacting and the parents can just get over it. You might want to send out a simple statement something like this. "I'm sorry that _______ removed ALL the pictures from his website, I did not ask him to do that, but simply remove my daughters. Maybe one of you would be interested in photographing the kids playing next time so that the coach can sit down with them and discuss what they could do better, since _______ is no longer comfortable doing so".

Some people might still be upset, but this is kind of the best you can do under the circumstances. If they are still upset you can right them off and stop worrying about what they think/say about you because everyone knows the whole story.

Best wishes!

It matters to me whether or not the web site the gentleman put the photos on was a private site or public site. A release for photos would only be needed if he were going to give the photos to a newspaper or they were going to be published in some other public arena. You would have to check the laws in your state but I don't believe what he was doing is illegal.

I don't believe that he should be offering to sell the photos unless he's a professional photographer and has a contract for that sort of thing with the team OR he put the photos on a CD or DVD. I think it's fair for people to have that option. It's also fair for you to request that your child not be included in the photos or be somehow edited out. It might be difficult for them to simply exclude photos with your child if s/he is in many of them since this is a team sport.

I think the coach was trying to encourage parental involvement in the team. It's very possible that parental involvement has been lacking, and he thought that by encouraging them to comment on the kids' performance it would get parents to be more active in their kids' actions and maybe even practice with the kids at home.

Sooooo... you have a valid point in not wanting your child's photos online without your permission, but the rest of it needs to be taken in context.

You are totally right and have every right to get mad and request your child's pictures taken down. If you know for a fact that he has put pictures fo your daughter back up without your permission I believe you can sue him. Just because he is a police officer does not mean he can just give you a ticket. You can actually file a harassment complaint with the police department if he gives you a ticket and claim that he is getting retribution for you asking for your daughters pictures to be taken down. I would keep all communications that you have had with this person. If what he or his wife are doing is breaking your little league rules then something should be done!!! Rules are there for a reason and being the sponser they should be following them. Good Luck and stick to your guns on this issue!

I think you are be overreacting. But I also think he should have asked your permission Before he took the photos and then would have avoided the whole issue.
It's your choice if you don't want photos of your child on the internet, but if she is in her softball uniform I don't see the big deal.
Most likely the coach is a volunteer and just did not have all the time he would like to work with the girls, so by posting pictures and having parents discuss them with their children he was trying to enlist the parents' help. At nine years old kids need a lot of help learning a sport and it is very Normal to expect the parents to participate in the coaching.
The photo guy was not charging you to look at the pictures and if these are pictures of what the kids are doing wrong he is probably not expecting to sell the pictures- he is probably just a friend of coach and is a good photographer and offered to help.

You may want to talk to the coach and try to smooth things out to make the rest of the season a good one for your daughter, and maybe he can put the other photos back up..

Wow! I just want to add again that coaches of 9 year olds are VOLUNTEERS - my son was on several baseball teams and that takes a ton of someones free time to do that! If your daughter was in girl scouts and had to do something at home to earn a patch would you be upset and say that is the leader's responsibilty to get that done? Just asking..

You are NOT overreacting. Any picture put onto the internet becomes permanently there in one form or another. He shouldn't be putting them there without your consent, especially since he has them on a site to be able to buy them. If he got in a huff and took them all down that is his problem, he should not be blaming you. You are protecting your daughter. Don't let the other parents get to you, just let them know if you want to your side of it and why.

Again you are not over reacting. There are too many pervs on the internet today and he should be thinking this also. He is the one who is supposed to be correcting softball issues.

It is common practice for teams to view video after games to go over and see where improvements could be made. Pictures are a little difficult to see, but I can understand where the coach is coming from in trying to use them. Having the parent sell the pictures is sometimes done, but it is in rather bad taste for them to attempt to sell pictures that are supposedly being used for training purposes. The coach needs to put his foot down on that one and decide if the photographer is there to aid in improvement of the team or to make a buck.
As far as team pictures remaining private, our team uses a secure site that is similar to a facebook, but for sports teams. the children join (or the parents) and then the coach creates a team page. She controls who is on the page so that only the team can see it and only the team can join. This is the area where anything team related (training video, notes, messages, schedule, etc) are posted. This way other teams, and the general public cannot view our "strategy" or whatever else we don't want them viewing. the site is called WePlay.
Unfortunately...you cannot control pictures of your child possibly hitting the internet when she is playing a team sport. other parents will take pictures of their children and most likely post them online for their friends and family to see, and if your child is next to their child, on the internet it will be. If you are adamant about pictures of your child playing her sport, not being on the internet, unless you put her there, perhaps she should play an individual sport? tennis, swimming, gymnastics? That way you are certain of her privacy.

Yes. Yes. And yes. This is a VERY common practice. All of the things you are angry about are common. Truthfully, before overreacting you might want to check with other parents and coaches. Did you not see the photographer taking the pictures at your daughters game? Go up to him next time and ask him not to take pics of number whatever, but you may loss out on a really cool action shot that you might not have ever seen.This will also hapen at band concert, school plays, etc. Good luck.