I'm not sure why people call it the "terrible twos" since they start at about 1.5 years. In fact, it's the odd-and-a-half years which are the worst. The evens aren't bad at all. So, take heart in knowing that by the time your darling angel reaches two, things will actually have improved! I think the main reason for it is communication. My son is 2.5 now, and his tantrums are curbed mostly because we're able to talk about what he wants, what he's doing wrong, etc. At 17 mos, he was no where near being able to understand me or tell me what was making him angry. Your daughter will get to where it's easier for you and your husband eventually!
In the meantime, ignoring the situation while you're at home and she's safe usually works best since they're seeking attention with their tantrums. However, this worked for my daughter but not my son. With him, I had to do timeouts. Of course, there was no way I was going to get him to stay seated in a timeout, so I had to physically hold him there for one minute. If he was still throwing a fit, I'd keep him there longer until he calmed down. I just would look away and "ignore" his behavior while holding him in timeout. After, I'd talk to him briefly and say, "No hitting" or whatever applied before I'd let him get out of timeout. It'll probably take a few timeouts before your daughter will understand that this is her discipline and that she needs to improve her behavior. Just be a patient as you can--once you lose your temper, you've lost the battle! =)
Hope that helps...good luck!
