My 15 Month Old Is Out of Control!

Try taking out Red dye and Yellow dye in his food, drinks and soaps, my daughter was exactly like this and I thought WOW something is wrong. It will take about 4 days to get completely out of their system but let me tell you what a difference, and when she get some every once in a while boy you can tell! Some Kids are more senitive to these dyes. She was showing signs of ADHD and I thought no way I'm going to put her on meds so young. Good luck Let me know if this works for you.

He's throwing fits and tantrums b/c he knows you will cater to him and cave-in. Stop giving in and put him in time-out. At this age 1-2 minutes of isolation is appropriate and will get the message across eventually IF you are consistent.

He's destructive b/c you are allowing it. This is not being judgmental, this is many years as a psychologist... behaviors persist b/c they are permitted and serve a function. He screams, you cave. What did he learn? Screaming gets results. He climbs on things and you don't stop him. What did he learn? This is okay behavior.

Nip it now or you will have a nightmare on your hands in another year.

Yes he is old enough for a time out. He knows what he is doing, and he needs to learn that its not okay.
I love watching supernanny. Great stuff to learn there.
Try making a place in your house, with a chair or something to sit on, where you can see him, and give him a time out. Make him sit there one minute for what age he is. He is one, so one minute. And if he gets off the chair, then he goes right back on. Do this everytime he acts out. He is just crying hysterically because he knows its a way to get what he wants. Dont give in though. You just need to be firm. It will get better soon. He just needs to know that your not going to give in, and he cant always get his way.

Good luck!

As I read this I thought you were talking about my youngest son. He's 3 now, so we are past most of this(unless he's very tired), but I remember it all very clearly. His way of expresssing anger, disappointment and frustration was to scream, yell, cry, throw and sometimes bite(if my oldest son pushed him too far). It took lots and lots of patience, consistency and teaching from us. At 15 months, I believe your son is too young for much discipline or time outs. He just won't understand. I would use distraction as much as possible to get him interested in something else or try to avoid situations when you know he will react like you've described. When you do have to say no or take a dangerous object from him, say no and let him cry. Sit near by to give comfort and to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or your daughter. You have to teach him how to handle his anger. If you react with anger, you're reinforcing his inappropriate behavior. I have 2 boys. My oldest is intellectual, cautious and creative. My youngest is loud, determined, active and has a smile to melt your heart. I read a book about boys called The Good Son that really helped me understand boys and their differences and how to help them at home and at school. You might give it a try. It is very insightful. Good luck. You'll be past this in 2 years or so!!LOL

I don't think time-outs will work at this age.
Unless the time-out is sitting on your lap and being restrained.
Try reading "The Happiest Toddler on the Block".

I HIGHLY Recommend HAPPIEST TODDLER on THE BLOCK!!! Get the video.....he models the technique and I use it even with the four year olds I teach....it worked like a charm with both my kids and any others I have worked with.

This is not popular these days, but I have 3 kids under 5 who were all taught not to tantrum, scream, get hysterical etc before the habit set in the very first few times they tried it at around 13 months-for my youngest is was more like 8 months. I used a book my large homeschool family uses. If you have an open mind you can check it out.

If you act firmly with discipline after one calm warning at this age, it may seem harsh to others, but it prevents bad habits from forming and he will rarely need discipline by age 2 because Just a verbal warning will suffice. My 2 1/2 year old spirited boy is AWESOME, almost never gets any discipline, has never been yelled at, and does none of those things. His sisters were even easier and same for their 30+ cousins. I was raised that way and my brother and I had almost no discipline as kids and never acted that way, because our parents were firm very early. I always get the comment, you're so lucky, your kids are so easy, they never even need discipline" But we did most of our consistency between ages 1 and 2 when kids are super quick to learn with no desire to rebel. It gets much harder if you wait until after 2 like experts recommend.

"No" is not a consequence he will want avoid, it's just a word. It is a command you need to enforce at first in order to teach him to respond to it. Time outs will take so much repetition and a are so mild and vague you will miss the easy teaching window and have much worse behavior to contend with than if you act firmer with something more brief and clear.

Beware of the positive parenting books, we all want to be nice all the time, but anything that is taking tons of time and allowing lots of melt downs is not only running you ragged, but it is enabling your child to form bad habits that could have been prevented. Allowing kids to go have fits in their room is still allowing fits and not teaching how not to have fits. Distracting and redirecting is also avoiding the opportunity to teach self control and only postpones the wrong behavior until the "next time". Kids can control it, and the sooner they learn, the better their lives are in every way.
If you want the controversial book, let me know, but regardless, check this site and book out by a grandma. You'll have much more time for positivity and fun when your discipline is calm and clear.
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com

Sounds like he's just trying to get attention. He doesn't care if it's positive or negative, he just wants attention. Not that you are not giving him enough, he just wants more. Anyway, with my son I have found that ignoring the behavior works best. Giving him a time out, or trying to talk to him, or acknowledging him in anyway is exactly what he wants from you. When he's throwing a screaming fit, just walk away. Tell him that you are leaving and when he's done crying you will be more than happy to talk to him, and just walk away and ignore him. Sounds simple, but it really worked for my son. I know you are at your wits-end, I was there too. But he will even out as long as you make a plan and stick with it so that he has time to learn the consequences of his actions.

He's not"Out of control" he's trying to see how his behaviors and actions controls what happens (his world). Now the ball's in your court! LOL
I think at 15 mos. distraction works, redirection or ignoring the fits. IMO, he's too young for time outs.

A child this young isn't "out of control," he has simply not been in the world long enough to have much control yet. That he will learn gradually over the next dozen or so years. And your son is just entering the 2-3 year period that is almost impossibly frustrating to many toddlers. He now sees himself as an individual, and sees so many interesting things he wants to touch, do, manipulate. He has limited motor skills, little language, and virtually no access to the things he craves unless he can convince his parents to give him that access.

Generally, the most effective way to handle a young child's acting out is to consider what is actually age-appropriate, to provide the gradual transitions and playful interactions that children need, to direct their attention elsewhere, to avoid overstimulating or over-scheduling, to be sure that kids get rest and nourishment when they need it. And if they act out anyway, model the alternatives.

For aggressive or self-harming behavior, simply and immediately restrain the child by holding arms down gently, removing him from the scene of the behavior if necessary, while using a calm but firm command like "Gentle!" or "NO pushing/biting/hitting!" Then model, or coax the child to role-play, the preferred behavior. And model using words, like "I want that," or "I feel so mad," or "Don't pull on me!" or "That was mine!"

This will begin to teach other choices, and at younger ages, will probably make a stronger impression than a swat or a couple of minutes in isolation, which very few children will connect logically to the original offense, particularly if they are still lost in frustration or outrage.

"Discipline," as originally used, meant guidance and teaching, rather than punishment. And time-outs, if used, are ideally a calm retreat in which a child (and even a parent) can regain control of emotions, and not a means of deprivation or punishment, which only tends to provoke even further outrage in some children who sense that they are being punished unfairly.

Even most proponents of time-outs see them as being pretty useless before 18 months to 2 years, at minimum. While there's a range of opinion, many parenting experts doubt that time-outs are as useful as other forms of teaching, and for some little personalities, they do not work at all. Particularly if the time-out itself becomes "the" battle, and the original misbehavior is lost in a drawn-out struggle to make the child "do his time." This can establish an antagonistic relationship between parent and child, which is sad and unnecessary.

It's helpful to recall that a frustrated child who's barely more than a baby has very little emotional capacity to be patient, consider alternatives, and make the wisest choice. Even grownups haven't mastered impulse control under all circumstances.

Check out this video to see Dr. Harvey Karp "reach" young children and get them on his team, emotionally. Very effective: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ1428uYs2g&NR.... .

I hope you'll also google Emotion Coaching and get a glimpse of what great results can be had using non-confrontational parenting. It's still very authoritative parenting, it is just more polite and respectful than some of the traditional authoritarian approaches. And since kids learn what they see by example much more effectively than through verbal instruction, they become civil and polite without being scolded into it.

Another superb source of advice is the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. As your child develops an ability to listen and communicate, the wisdom in this book will make it a resource you reach for again and again. It's my current favorite with my 4.5yo grandson. The techniques and ideas are mutually respectful, and they work brilliantly.

He's entering the terrible two's early is all. When my kids are that age and they throw a fit, I pick them up and put them in their room then tell them to come out when they're done. You completely ignore the fit then and you don't have screaming toddler in your living room. You are right though - they understand a lot, but it doesn't mean they always will do it!

of course you can do time out (1 min per age). definately find a form of dicipline that works for him (every kid is different) taking a specific toy away, movie's, tv time, etc

We have a strict, definate no if you choose to throw a fit policy. She is allowed to go to her room and scream all she likes, (our version of time out, no official time but you can stay here until you are done screaming) but she is not going to get whatever it was that started the fit. If she needs to get the emotions out, that is fine, but I dont want to hear it :) If she chooses not to throw a fit we are willing to come to a compromise. Not right now but after XYZ we will talk about it again.

My son is 15 months old and we do 1 min of timeout for something that we know he knows not to do. It really helps in our house, our 4 year old still gets put in timeout for certain things also. The big thing is, ignore his screaming behavior and he will stop.

I feel for you because I am in the same boat you are but my roles are reversed. I have a 15 month old daughter and a 4 1/2 year old son. My son has always been a difficult one and is in a really hard stage right now with not minding, etc. And now I am getting a double dose because my 15 month old daughter is starting to throw the most embarrassing tantrums, throwing herself down, flailing her body all over the place, throwing things, screaming, etc. Not fun. I just tell her no firmly but it doesn't really correct her behavior. I think it is an age thing. My pediatrician said she was getting into her terrible 2's very early. I haven't done any time out as I feel she won't understand that at 15 months, but firm no's just seem to hurt her feelings for a second and then she's at it again. I feel for you, I do. I totally understand. If you get any helpful advice I would love to learn about it too.

have you tried removing him when he starts acting like this? place him in his crib and walk away (or some other place where he will be safe). tell him "when you are done you can come out". he's not old enough for time outs, probably. but removing him and ignoring his antics might nip it in the bud. it depends on the cause of the behavior - is he looking for attention? is he simply that distraught at being told "no"? does he have sensory issues? to me it's all about the root cause of the behavior.

I have a son this age who just started to hit his 3 year old sister in the face when she's laying down on the ground! He's only done it twice, but I'm not sure why he does it at all?! Also, when we take something away that he shouldn't have or tell him no, he throws himself onto the floor and cries hysterically and very dramatically! I do not believe in disciplining children at this age to the extent of time outs. We tell him 'no' or say 'gentle' and show him how to touch someone softly. We'll redirect his attention to something else or get him a new toy. In a few months, we'll start offering more of a substantial punishment, but at this time he still can't fully tell us what he wants/does/doesn't like, etc so I kind of give him a break. But once he can tell us, that is a different story!