My Son Is Out of Control...

Updated on October 16, 2007
A.B. asks from Lafayette, LA
7 answers

My son has always been a "good kid" But since a lot of things has happened in a three year time he has become this child I do not know.
I have divorced my second husband who was the only man he knew to be his father the reason why is because he was very abusive.
I moved him in with my sister for a school year until I got on my feet, in that time I had met my new husband whom I have known for 14 years , we had become pregnant soon after starting to date.
We then moved in together and My son moved back in with me and my husband.
after about a year of living back in our home town with family and friends we had to move to a new place , new town and it was very hard on all of us.
Now we move away again! now here. Even though he likes it here and is making new friends his back talk , attitude has been very snotty , rude, and disrespectful .
I have talked with him every day ,it is even effecting his schooling.
I do not know what to do ???any help , any advice..?

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Hi A. :)

I feel like I don't know enough details to be completely sure--but it sounds like he's just going through the typical disrespectful phase all teens seen to go through at one point or another. Hang in there! It will pass! :) It wouldn't hurt to buy some books on dealing with teens too. If you don't benefit from them, you'll know you're not alone--- and of course, prayer helps. ;)
As far as being new to the area--I am too. (4 weeks) and also from california. ;) I started a mother's group here and it's helped a lot. You're welcome to join if you're interested. ;) (Assuming you arn't far from Little Rock hehe) http://sahm.meetup.com/2250/

Best of Wishes,
M.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.A.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Maybe you should try to get him in with the doctor. Maybe some light counseling could help. Maybe he has a lot to talk about but feels uncomfortable talking with people who already know his situation. Maybe a stranger talking to him that won't judge him (or make him feel like they are) would help. Just someone to listen to him.

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L.R.

answers from Shreveport on

It really sounds like some typical rebellious behavior (how old is he, by the way?) for some kids and teens. But, it could be mixed in with some angst over all that has happened so fast for him recently. Maybe you should ask his pediatrician if they can recommend someone for you all to talk with - a counselor or something. It could help all of you open up and feel better about everything that is going on with your family right now.

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R.L.

answers from Shreveport on

I'm wondering how old your son is.
It sounds as if you and your son have been through a lot. I hope I do not sound disrespectful, I don't mean to be, but your son may have resentment towards you because he has moved so much recently. He had to stay with someone else and when he came back, you had a new boyfriend/husband and a new baby. He may feel as if you chose them over him. I'm sure you have talked to him about this, but I guess you should talk to him more. Tell him how much you love him and the reason why you have made the choices you have made. Kids get really out of wack when they are moved around a lot. They are like us..they have to adjust to change and it isn't always easy. It's hard to start all over and when a kid is school age and they are making friends, it's even harder. I hope things settle down for your family and you can lay down some roots.
Your son may need someone other than you to talk to. Sometimes it is easier talking to a stranger (counselor) than your own mom. He knows he can't hurt the stranger's feelings and it will be confidential for him (to an extent I'm sure).
Kids go through the snotty stage no matter how stable their life is...they just do it. Just be firm with him but make sure he knows you love him and the reasons behind the choices you have made for him.
Good luck!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Under the circumstances - the only dad he's ever known being abusive, having to live away from his mom, moving back in with mom and immediately having to deal with the impending arrival of a sibling, then two (three?) more moves in what seems to have been fairly quick succession, one of them cross-country - if the worst that happens is that he develops a smart mouth, consider yourself lucky.

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D.B.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Hi A.,

My advice would be to talk to your son and encourage him and reward him for his good behavior. Explain to him that in order to get respect he has to give respect. Let him know that you're there for him and you love him. He maybe acting out because he's trying to adjust in the new home and area you reside in. He also, maybe seeking your attention...as you mentioned earlier, he was away from you for a whole year. He maybe resenting you for that so, as his mother all you can do is start freash with him and let him know that you're there for him. In time, he will come around. Take care.

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A.M.

answers from Fort Smith on

How old is your son????? I will be willing to chat with you see if i can help you,thank you hugs

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