It is very hard to hear this type of thing about our children.
Remember, no child is perfect.
This is in no way a reflection on you as parents. Instead you need to figure out why your daughter is acting like this.
I was a PTA President and spent 100's of hours at the schools each year.
I saw and heard all sorts of children and their interactions. It is not always pretty or nice.
There really were children at the school, that I would witness behaviors and I would ask the teachers and the teachers would confirm they had told the parents, but the parents refused to believe them.. I even once asked a question on here about one boy who was so mean, a real bully.. But his parents were super, super sweet. None of us knew how to approach them.
I am sure like anything, there are some teachers that may try to pick on a child, but over all you need to listen and take to heart what they are saying.
This could be a turning point for your child.
Ask for exact examples and what suggestions does the teacher have?
Then take a look around at who is your daughters best friend, what is she like?
Is she invited to parties, sleepovers etc?
Does she have close friends? How do they get along? What do her friends talk about in the backseat of your car when you take them places? How does she REALLY act around other children.. even when she does not know you are aware? Is she invited to events by all sorts of children or just a few and what are they like?
Just take a few steps back and try to observe what is going on with her. She probably does not realize at school her behaviors are different.. It will take some investigation to find out why she acts this way.
I am sending you strength. You can and will solve this. And just breath.. This really is not the end of the world.. Just another exciting chapter in Parenthood.