My 17 month old is increasing becoming a live barnacle during the daytime. While I know it's normal childhood development and it will pass, the days will come where she will want me to drop her a block away from school so her friends don't see what a wacky mom she has, it's tiring at times when she wants to be carried. B/c she does not get out much, she gets extremely insecure when she is taken out of home. She is in weekly Gymboree sessions and I've had rotten luck finding mom's playgroups who seem to all meet when I'm at work.
She even refuses to let my husband hold her many times. She refuses to walk besides me when we are out, but rather be carried everywhere. She has bad stranger anxiety, which I know can be normal.
My question is, have/do other moms go thru this extreme velcro/barnacle/3rd appendage stage that I am going through? How long does it last?
My 18mo old is very similar. When it gets really bad or I need to get something done, I put her in a backpack and go about my evening. She loves it and it's easier on me than any front or side carrier.
Hi Maya,
Well, I do agree that a lot of kids go through a clingy stage. I think your daughter may be right in the middle of it. Our son (19 months) is in Kindercare 5 days a week and so far we have been lucky with him. Don't get me wrong there are times he wants his Mom or Dad, but for the most part - he loves other kids and people. We take him out a lot (I get stir-crazy very easily) and he waves and says hi to everyone walking by. He loves other kids, too.
You say that you have a baby sitter come into your home while you and hubby work (how cool is that? I'm a little jealous.) Is there a way you can maybe find a daycare center to take her to one or two days a week or something? Can the sitter take her to the mall or something during the day? I was at Vernon Hills Mall a few weeks ago during the week and there were TONS of Mom's and kids there playing in the Castle Area...
I just think that some more outings would be good for her and could help reduce (in time) the stranger anxiety and clingy-ness.
Good luck to you.
T.
It's just a phase. My daughter did the exact same thing at this age from about 18-22 months old and I was a SAHM full time! So don't feel guilty that it's because you work outside the home. She may be longing for you...but it's just a developmental point that she needs to work through. Almost all kids experience this.
On a related note, I would NOT wear my child at this age--they are very heavy! I used a carrier for a long time, but once my daughter started walking/running, she just got too big. Picking up my daughter caused serious injury to my back last summer. Do other things that cultivate closeness. Snuggle up and read, take a nap together, etc.
How well I remember that stage with my son, and now with my 6 onth old who only wants Mama...from I remember it is extremely common and it passes quickly(just seems like forever when you go through it :) kind oflike whe will my newborn sleep through the night:) I remember reading somewhere that it is a normal developmental stage, and also to enjoy it...becuase this really truly is her last stage of being a baby. Hang in there, because my son was hardly two when he started to tell me to "leave me alone" LOL. Also, most little ones are insecure out of their homes at this age..some more than others, my son just left his "shy" stage behind at four...now he will talk anyone's ear off. I don't recall this clingy phase lasting more than a month or two though. Maybe it was longer, but honestly it seems like a life time ago
Hi Maya:
Our situation is the same - both work - sitter comes to the house. Our 20 month old went through it and is just starting to ease beyond it. My sisters (whose kids are older) keep telling me to enjoy it now! So, don't sweat it, it's just one of the MANY fazes I'm sure we have ahead of us.
Good luck!
M.
She's so young yet, I think she is just letting you know how much she needs you. I would try to accomodate her any way you can. You won't spoils her, she loves you! I think she'll outgrow it more quickly if you do. It is difficult when you work full time and have so much to do, but try to make things fun, and do less whenever you can, just relish small things like reading books to her. In the long run, you will be very glad you did. L.
Listen to you little one! They miss you all day and are clinging to make sure they get their mommy fix. I'd suggest getting a GREAT baby carrier. Check out www.thebabywearer.com There are excellent ones that will support their weight 100% safely and securely. W/ some you'll even have both hands free to do other things.
I'm having a class on this next month at the Oak Lawn Library.
Good Luck! C.
Maya,
We have the same situation as you - our sitter comes to our home...our daughter would be active and outgoing with people in our home but clam up and cling on to me in public. I enrolled her in a couple of classes at our local park district and that has helped a great deal. Those might be easier for you to get to than Gymboree. Just a thought.
N.
Hi Maya:
I completely understand what you mean. My daughter says "hold you" everytime I try to get ANYTHING done around the house. She is wonderful (19 months old) and I love her soo much but I have a red mark on my side from having her on my hip all the time. I work full-time as well - three days in the office and two days at home. We have a nanny who comes in to the house when we are at our offices. My daughter is the same way with my husband - it is still not good enough for him to be the one to hold her, it has to be mommy.
I defintely think it is a developmental thing...and I am sure you are right that we are going ot miss this when they are older. One thing that I have started doing which seems to work sometimes is to come to her first and say "hold you" the same way and then she loves rejecting me, I act like my heart is so broken that I will drown my sorrows in making dinner or something and she loves it. We have a table in our kitchen that I cover one end of with large drawing paper, then I put her in the highchair without the tray (strapped in of course), push it in to the table, give her some crayons and then talk to her while I make dinner.
It does suck though. My sister has a son who is 17months old and he does the same thing but he also whines the whole time she is holding him. It is so hard but it is great to have the support of another mom going through the same thing. Girlfriend support is crucial right now. Let me know if you need to vent.
Good luck!!
Hello,
Do you think it could be related to you working full time? I worked 4 days a week with my son, and I think it makes a difference. He definitely is more independent now, but when he was 2 I quit to stay home after having his little sister. I noticed a big change between 2 and 3, but not all variables stayed the same for me.
