My Husband Doesn't Mow and Don't Let Me Mow

Welcome to mamapedia, Priya!

Congratulations on your home ownership and your baby!! It's a lot to take on!

Your marriage needs help. If my husband got angry and started throwing things because he didn't like my suggestion to get a professional to do it? Yeah. NOT playing that game. This is NOT a game. This is SOOO NOT GOOD. You know this is not good. If he throws something at you again? While it sounds extreme? Call the police. Your husband needs help.

The fact that your neighbors have offered means it's BAD. You might even get a fine from the county. If you're in an HOA (home owners association) community? You'll get fined from the HOA as well. Neither will be cheap. My girlfriend moved from VA to CA - her home was vacant - we got a LOT of rain - her grass grew tall and fast. She was given notice (which I got since I was going to the house and checking on it) and the county fined them $150 for NOT having it done. Gave them 2 weeks to get it done or they would be charged an additional $500 and the county would do it. The real estate agent had to arrange to have it taken care of. It was NOT fun.

Tell your husband to grow the eff up. THIS is part of home ownership - caring for the lawn. He has two choices - do it himself or hire someone to do it. Not saying you can't or shouldn't do it - but if you are already stressed out? You don't need the additional stress of mowing a lawn where the grass is already overgrown.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Please do NOT allow your husband to treat you that way EVER again.

Get a gas mower and mow your lawn. If your husband is prone to those over reactions you may want to consider if that is safe for you and your child.

This is more of a site to ask questions and get answers based on our experiences - rather than just to vent. Do you want suggestions?

It doesn't sound like the issue is the lawn - it sounds like you have a marriage problem. How you communicate and make decisions. You don't sound like an equal in the marriage (in his eyes, but of course you should be) and he has anger issues.

I'm assuming he didn't throw them at you.

You're hormonal - no wonder for the tears. Just walk away for now. Ignore him. Let him have his little rant and upset, but doesn't mean you have to take it on.

When he's calmer, later on - explain that the grass needs to be mowed. Give him options. Either he mows it with his manual one, you both buy a gas powered mower and he mows it or you hire a kid/someone else to mow it.

The upset and his losing it is a separate, bigger issue. If this is something he regularly does, then he needs to address it. He might need medication. Just be sure you do not get upset by his emotions. If it's a bigger thing (that he's disrespectful and doesn't communicate, and has outburst often) then you might need counselling (together, or at least on your own) on how to deal with this and make changes.

If this was just a vent, and you're not going to try any of our suggestions - then I don't think it will change unfortunately.

If it's any consolation, I would be upset also. Just go do something relaxing for you. Walk away.

I'm sorry. This is a crappy situation.

If your lawn doesn't get taken care of? You will be fined by the county. I've seen it happen.

Tell your husband to pull his head out of his butt and get the job done. Either buy a proper lawn mower or pay someone to do it. If he doesn't? Find a landscaping company and pay them to do it.

If your husband screams and throws things at you again? Call the police, kick him out, change the locks on the door and the code to the garage. You deserve better than that. He can come back when he's had anger management therapy and marriage counseling.

You need to call the police the next time he scares you. Throwing things is abusive. You shouldn't be with someone who does this. You need a record of this on file with them so that a judge will protect you if things get worse.

You work. You have medical insurance through your work, right? Do you have your own bank account? If you don't, open one and start putting your paycheck into it. If he continues to make no sense about this stuff with the house, gather your things that you would not want him to destroy, and leave your home and stay somewhere else for a while. Make him think about what it would be to live without you. And tell him that you aren't moving back in until you two have marital counseling.

You need to rest after you get home from work. (And you don't need to be mowing the lawn either!) Making a baby is a LOT of stress on your body. It's like walking up flights of stairs 24/7. If you want to protect your health and the health of the baby, you have to stop letting him treat you like this. Put you and the baby first, and HIM second.

Hello Pryia.
If you have an HOA in your neighborhood (Home Owner Association) they eventually make you to have the front yard cleaned up in a certain way. Your husband then has not much of an option.

However, it seems your husband has other issues than getting the grass mowed. He either is overwhelmed with the new situation of having a newborn or he has potentially problems at work.

Throwing things in anger because of hiring for $25/$35 every other week someone to cut the grass is just odd.

You are both working, so I assume you can afford the expense.

Is he very controlling in other areas as well?

your husband needs to take a chill pill. he either needs to mow before the grass is too tall or he needs to suck it up and let a stranger mow it for hire. my husbands a strange one about having others come to the house to do work, but thats because he is a do it himselfer and can do it just as good if not better. (hes also a plumber working at a company that boasts of being a one call we will do it all place and they do everything from plumbing to ac units, remodeling and deck additions so thru his work he has much experience and co-workers to get advice from)
i agree that you should find out what the fee will be if your grass does get too long and let your husband decide if its worth the price of a professional to have it done or be fined.
he should also consider a powered mower and do it on a regular basis so it does not get too long.
and throwing things is not right, both of you should seek counseling to resolve that matter before it gets out of control

If he doesn't want to do it he should get someone to do it. In Cali they have all these regulations that you have to keep your lawn mowed etc., or you will be fined. If anything it is sort of part of the maintenance of having a house.. Hope things get better.