My nine month old daughter has started pulling at my lips a lot. She is not intentionally rough, but sometimes it really hurts! I know that she is exploring her environment, and I don't want to constantly tell her no, but I get really tired of my face being rearranged. Is there any way that I can gently direct her towards perhaps playing less with my face? I would love any ideas!
Thank you all so much for your kind words--I am sorry it took me so long to get back to everyone. She is very good about stopping now when I pull her hand away and say "owie, that hurts mama". It's less of a game for her. Thanks again.
My suggestion is to say, "Ow! That hurts", or something to that effect. Then put her down for a minute (sort of like a time out, but you're still engaged with her, not ignoring her!). Then pick her up again. If she does it again, repeat. Continue with this cycle until she gets it that she shouldn't do that, otherwise she won't get held. She'll get the idea eventually.
S. Wolf
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
My 6 month old does the same thing...and she's a pincher. It really gets bad when she's going to sleep. She will pinch the back of my arms and there are times that I have small bruises. When she does pull on my face or pinch me, I pull her hand away and tell her no and to be gentle. I dont want her to think that she cant touch me so when shes touching my face I tell her to be gentle. I hope that this is just a faze...and I have to keep her nails nice and short.
A.
My son Ian, who is now 2 1/2, did the same sort of thing with me, pulling at my lips and face, with surprising strength for a little guy. My response was to take his hand with an appropriate level of firmness, and say, in a serious voice, with a serious expression on my face, "That hurts mama." And then demonstrate a softer touch with his hand to my face, and said, "Be gentle."
I say tell her it hurts, "owie" and keep telling her no....eventually she will get it. Teach her what owie is....she will eventualy understand. Its never to young to teach her no....
My almost 9 month old does the same thing and she also growls and has a "evil laugh of doom" (per her sister) which cracks us up, but we have no idea where she got this from. I always try to say "OWW!" and make a sad face and then when she continues, I put her down. So far it has gotten her to stop, but I haven't been able to keep her from pulling her sister's hair. I think my daughter gives her mixed messages and too much attention when she does it, so she continues, so make sure you are not rewarding the unwanted behavior. Good luck, and just think, soon she'll be not even be remotely interested in your face, so try to enjoy it!
So my 10 month old does the same thing, he also likes to hit us in the face and thinks it's really funny! And he hits pretty hard! I think he thinks it's playing. I always tell him,"That hurts, brother" ( or whoever he is doing that to) He is very loveable at the same time, after he hits he follows with a kiss. Let me know what works... Thanks M. :)
Children at that age are very curious with your face and facial expressions. You don't always have to say "no". I like to say, "Ow, that hurts the mommy" or like you said, redirection, maybe something like "those are mommy's lips where are (your child's name)'s lips?" and then move her hand to her own lips and make a big deal about it. They have brains like spounges and are pepared to learn everything you want to teach them at that age, so it can't hurt to start teaching them now what their facial features are.
