Our son has started hitting this week. At first we gently said "we do not hit" but that did not help. We tried a firm No and he just squeals with laughter. I have also tried ignoring it, nothing seems to help. I would appreciate any suggestions.
My daughter who is 11 months has this problem too. I think it started when my mother tried to teach her to pet the cats and instead she hits them, and hits people. I have no idea how to fix it either.
our son is 14 months and does the same thing. The only thing that has "worked" has been telling him "gentle touches" and showing him what that means and then if it continues, we set him down and move away for a minute. HE HATES THIS and it seems to stop the behavior. We have tried redirecting, everything. This is the only thing that has worked so far. Tomorrow is another day and it may not work, but for now this is it. Good luck! I'm told "it's just a phase."
He's still young to learn from just a few times. I would just continue to consistently give a firm "no", and perhaps grab his hand & move it away from you (like back to his side or something) as you say "no". Just a gentle "keep your hands to yourself" move.
You can also add "I don't like it when you hit me. It hurts. We don't hurt our friends" etc.
it shouldn't last too long. My grand baby started around 18 months and quickly grew out of it. Luckily it didn't involve her playmates at daycare...just me and grampy!
My son who is 17 months old is in this phase as well. We tell him, "hitting hurts, you have to be nice" and then show him a nice touch. If it continues, we remove him from the situation, which is usually playing with his older brother. At daycare, they put him in time out, which he hates! I think that's fine as well, whatever works, without hitting back. My older son went through the same thing, then through the biting stage, tantrums, I could go on and on about their phases!
Tell him no firmly and put him in time out. You may need to put him in his crib or playpen so he knows you mean business.
My son did the same thing, now we tell him No and be nice/show me nice which he responds and pets you.
Time out! that worked for us...I put her on a placemat on the floor in the corner and timed it for one minute - of coures the whole process takes about 30 minutes because they just keep getting up, but you just put them back on and don't say a word. At the end I just blocked her from getting up and off the placemat. After one week of time outs, no more hitting, and she hasn't done it since!
i just got your note..my son is about to turn 1 and we are having the same problem. he hits me and his dad in a face when we hold him. we tell him no but it does not help and he just laughs and laughs.. i dont know what to do..
oh my 15 mo old is doing this too! My DD never did so its driving me CRAZY! We do just what the PPs said, though I was hoping someone had a good solution :) We tell her no hit, hitting hurts, owie, etc...though now she hits you and says ow. Which is kind of funny. We do the same with pinchy, she's a big pincher. We tried doing "just pat pat" but I think that was a hard concept to separate from hitting. So we started "rub rub, soft, gentle" and move her hand. Slowly it seems to be working, then it doesnt' at all, but we have our good days. If I tell her two times and she does it again I immediately put her down or move away and she gets mad. She goes into time out at daycare.
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oh my 15 mo old is doing this too! My DD never did so its driving me CRAZY! We do just what the PPs said, though I was hoping someone had a good solution :) We tell her no hit, hitting hurts, owie, etc...though now she hits you and says ow. Which is kind of funny. We do the same with pinchy, she's a big pincher. We tried doing "just pat pat" but I think that was a hard concept to separate from hitting. So we started "rub rub, soft, gentle" and move her hand. Slowly it seems to be working, then it doesnt' at all, but we have our good days. If I tell her two times and she does it again I immediately put her down or move away and she gets mad. She goes into time out at daycare.
How old is your son? I think if he is still very young, you have nothing to worry about. If he is school age, or goes to a day care he may have learned it from a kid there. My son started hitting out of the blue when he was 20 months old. We couldnt figure out why because we dont hit him and he was never at daycare. He is now almost 4 and still hits when he's mad or frustrated. We started giving time outs for it when he was 2. That helped a lot and still does to an extent, but my son also has a speech delay and hitting and throwing is extremely common with them because of their frustration in not being able to say what they want to. I think most kids go through a "hitting phase"... Then they eventually learn that it is wrong and can hurt someone. We tell my son all the time "hitting hurts" and he understands at the time. We were told to ignore it at first also which I think does work for some children if they are quite young. I think you will have to try several things to see which one your son responds to best. Good luck!
Here is what I did:
A firm "Oww! Be soft please." Then put him down. When he gets upset that I'm not holding him anymore I told him I can only hold when he is soft (or gentle, whatever word you want.) Then pick him back up, and as soon as he does it again, put him back down again. It was a lot of up and down at first, but I think a one year old is capable of getting it.
Harder for me was the random throwing or hitting out of nowhere when we were playing when he was about 2. I had to do something similar- walking away from the playing, and then explaining.
I don't know if it actually worked, but it certainly ddin't hurt. I really think it is just a phase they have to go through, and you can shorten it and you definitely don't want to allow it, but it will pass.
Dr. Becky Bailey's book has a lot of grea suggestions. Easy to love, difficult to discipline. Parents as teachers recommend her. Her mantra is focus on the behavior u want to see. Sounds simple but most of us are so programmedin the negative because that's what we heard growing up. So rather than no hitting, take his hand and tell him and show him, we touch gentle. Say hitting hurts. Short and sweet at this age. He's too young for time outs in my opinion. Try not take his agression personally. It's completely developmentally normal. Show empathy by saying, you seem frustrated, you wanted to keep playing etc but it's time to clean up. Some
days it may seem like you are getting no where! But believe me, you say
it about. 2000 times and finally it clicks! My sister is an Early childhood educator and a lot of this philosophy for discipline comes out of research based studies. You teach your child that it is ok to have emotions and
feelings while learning how to control those feelings. Practice, practice,
practice. By far, being consistent in disciplining is the hardest challenge I
have had.
My son was doing the same thing and sometimes he still slips and he hits. I held his hand down and told him that Mommy doesn't like a boy that hits. It's not nice and hurts me. It didn't work the five other times I did it, but that magical moment happened when he "Got IT" and he stopped. Now when he slips and hits, I tell him again that I don't like that and it hurts and he gives me a hug and tells me he's sorry. It's not an over night cure, but I stayed consistent with it and he finally got it.
