My daughter is soon to be 8-year -old. SHe is very sweet but when in times of asking her to do things she seems to get side tract all the time. when I ask her if she's done what I told her to do, she always says "I forgot". When I am talking to her and ask her to repeat what I said, she always said " I don't remember." She remember things... mostly silly ones. When I get mad that's the only time she knows and remembers everything. I don't want to be mad all the time. I need help!
The first thing I would want to know is if she has some kind of auditory processing disorder. If not - if her lack of listening seems to only relate to hearing things she does not want to hear - then I'd be firm with consequences for her not listening. What kinds of consequences do you use? If she hasn't done chores you asked her to do, give her a consequence so that she'll be motivated to remember next time! Good luck!
Are you getting her attention or just speaking to her "in the air" It seem like only when you shout or get mad does she respond, meaning that's the only time it makes sense what you said.
Make sure you have her full attention, looking in her eyes and then make the request. See if that helps any. Good luck.
Like some of your other responders, I have an ADD child and we go through this too. Writing down on the poster board what needs doing, was a great suggestion by someone. I also find that writing things down for her helps her. Tape it to the bathroom mirror, refridgerator, bedroom closet, where ever she goes in the morning and after school.
Sounds normal to me.
You just need to keep on her. If you ask her to do something, make sure she starts it right away. If she gets sidetracked, redirect her to the task at hand. If she says, "I forgot." Say, "Glad I reminded you." or just ignore the "I forgot" altogether.
She's still 7. Of course she needs reminding, and of course she gets side tracked. Let's not jump to any conclusions about ADD, please!
When she turns 8, tell her that she will be responsible for remembering ________ (fill in the blank). Don't give her too many tasks/chores yet. But at 8, she should have about five. Give her a chart to hang on the wall to mark off when she has done whatever she is to do. You may or may not want to remind her once a day to check her chart. Then, when you are heading out to do something she enjoys (going to the park, shopping, a friend's house, whatever) look at the chart and say, "Oh, I see you didn't ________. We won't be able to go now because you need to do that." This should help her learn quickly to pay attention to her chart and what she should be doing.
If you are asking her to gather her homework/lunch/instrument because she'll need it for school and next thing you know she's heading out the door without it, I say let her forget it a couple of times. When she gets in trouble for not having her homework, or is hungry because she doesn't have her lunch, she will be much more likely to take responsibility for remembering it.
No need to get mad, anymore. Just let her live with the consequences of her actions.
My 8 1/2 year old does not forget things anymore because she has already been through this lesson. : )
Good luck!
Try having a 'family' meeting with her and discuss what needs to be done, who will do what and when, then have her help you make the list with a place to check off when it's complete. Let her participate as an equal family member in the process of sustaining your family life -- also let her initiate or come up with the ideas of what needs to be on the list. Also ask her to help develop 'timing' -- when do things need to be done so she has some choice in managing her life. Instead of writing the task, you can have her draw a picture for each task with a box next to it to check when it's done--could also draw a clock with the time to be done shown on the clock face I think she'll think this fun to do and help her think about what all goes into 'sharing' and keeping a home running smoothly. You might want to use a white erasable board or make copies to use each week.
Get use to it. My kids did and do the same thing.lol they are ADD and ADHD though so they like to use that as an excuse. Have you had her tested for that? But some kids are just that way you have to remind them. Try to stay calm I know its hard there are times I just want to scream as well but remember some day she will have her own kids and it will come back at her 10 fold.lol
L....I feel your pain. I thought I had the pokiest 8 yo on the planet. Breathe and smile. Repeat. Sigh.
Sounds to me like she's working you. She will forget all day if you let her. ou don't have to be mad, you just have to be consistant with the consequences. If the consequence for not doing it are she doesn't get what she wants or get to do what she wants until she gets it done - bet she gets it done in a hurry.
Use a poster board,
And on it write down what you want her to do, and what she needs to do.
And daily, she can check it off.
That way it is a Visual, reminder.
