My Brother Is Most Likely Moving Across the Country. How Do I Deal with This?

That's so hard. We recently went through something similar when my parents moved 700+ miles away. My husband and I actually relocated to be close to my parents, so we saw my parents several times a week. Then, my dad was transferred due to his job, and off they went. In the past year we have seen them only a couple of times (and then only because of a death in the family and a wedding in the family). It has been really hard for us! A couple of things I can suggest:

1) Get Skype for your computer if you don't already have it. Make sure your brother gets it, too. It is FREE and allows you to video chat. Not as good as being there, but better than just having the phone and email.
2) Get a family account on Shutterfly or a similar service. Post all of your family snapshots there.
3) Plan family vacations. In your case, since you can't fly a long distance, see if your brother (and cousins?) will come to you. Maybe they would like to vacation on the East Coast somewhere within driving distance of your home. You could do camping, or meet at a family resort, etc - whatever your family's budget allows.

That is what we've done so far. It's not the same as having family nearby, but at least we are blessed to live in a day and age where we have technology that brings us closer together, and mass transit of various types that can bring us closer faster. It is more work, but you can still stay in touch! Sorry you're going through this. =(

Control what you can control. Your brother needs to do what is best for his family and unfortunately it might not be the best for yours. You need to wish him all the best and not get hung up on what could have/should have been. Make the best of the situation and stay in touch with all of the other ways technology provides today.

Skype.

http://www.skype.com/intl/en-us/home

totally free video conferencing

First, congratulations on having come from a close and loving family.
Many of us here would have been grateful
to have such an experience when growing up.

But, as you have found, things change.
People change.
People move away for career or other reasons.

It is sad that you won't be able to create some of the cousin/extended family situations you had hoped to make for your own children.
However, sometimes friends can become like family members.
You might have opportunities to get together with other moms
and find close friends you might not have had otherwise.

As for the children and their cousins . . . .
I know it's not the same thing but with the technology we have these days, the kids can keep in touch with texting and skype, etc.

Perhaps when the children are older, you can have big family reunion gatherings every few years, if not on the east coast, maybe halfway, meeting in the middle . . . . Missouri? Nebraska?

Good luck.

I completely understand your feelings. I grew up with a large extended family and wanted that for my kids. As it turns out, my brother has two kids, but they moved to Canada before the kids were born, so we have never gotten to know them well. My cousins all moved away except one who we don't stay in touch with, and most of them don't have kids anyway. So it is just me, and my kids and my parents who live close by, however, my Dad travels more than he is home. So really the only extended family they see regularly is my Mom. It makes me very sad. I lost most of my friends when I had kids, I am an older Mom(40 in May), and my friends either had grown kids or no kids, so we had nothing in common anymore. I too feel a huge loss for my kids not having what I had, and I still have not figured out how to give them something close. So no advise for you just understanding of your feelings, I am right there with you.

PS: I read about the family vacation suggestion and that sounds like a great idea! We are going with my brother and his kids to Disney in March. It is not perfect, but it is something.

Hi, C.:

Is there any mommy groups around you can join?
Just wondering.
D.

i agree with Skype. my sis lived in Switzerland and is now in the Philippines...i get to see her and my 1 yr old nephew a lot. it makes it easier....and its FREE! how cool is that?

Sucks but its part of life. My kids cousins all lived in Illinois from their dads' side of the family and we lived in California so they didnt get to be raised with them. My family is all here, the kids saw cousins now and then but even being in the same state and hours away we never had time to do much visiting. This is where you get a good friend network going so your kids have adopted aunts and uncles and cousins. I was lucky, I grew up with all my grandparents alive, and all my cousins to play with.... after the grandparents croaked the family pretty much spread out and no one does Christmas dinner anymore or any of that stuff. Life is all about facebook now, definitely a different world than even 20 years ago that's for sure. Just make sure your family has webcams and you can skype all the time, that's what we do.... its almost like being there but without the hugs :(